Thursday, January 26, 2012

T-Rav's Sockpuppet Theater Presents: Jackasses in Jacksonville

Once more unto the breach dear sockpuppets! And don't forget the chips. Tonight, CNN, 8 PM EST.

And tonight's pre-debate question: what question would you ask each candidate if you were the moderator?

By the way, there is a glitch with the comments. When we get above 200 comments, you either have to click on the title to the article or post a comment to see anything beyond 200.

412 comments:

  1. Hey when did Fancy Nancy join the party?

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  2. T-Rav's Exhausted SockpuppetsJanuary 26, 2012 at 4:16 PM

    Oh no, not again!

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  3. Sockpuppets, I feel your pain. Fortunately, after tonight we have something like 4 weeks off from this nonsense! :)

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  4. Bev, Vote for Newt, get Fancy Nancy in drag.

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  5. Sockpuppets, you can come play with us instead!!!!

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  6. Sock puupets

    Now you know how the bowl of Petunias felt in Douglas Adam's Hitchhiker's Guide Trilogy

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  7. I'd ask Newt if he still beats his wife. Then I'd ask Mitt if he still beats his wives. Then I'd ask Santorum if he beats his husband. Finally, I'd ask Paul if he feels free, without government interference, to beat his wife. KIDDING

    The real question that is lingering in my mind right now, facing another debate, is do any of the candidates know the meaning of "continuous loop?"

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  8. Is Newt represented by Nan or the blue critter in her lap?


    I'd like to know who they feel would be good VP choices for them...

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  9. Sockpuppet Knitters United for FairnessJanuary 26, 2012 at 4:41 PM

    So you are exhausted, eh Sockpuppets? Well, look at this and remember, you can be replaced...

    http://www.woio.com/category/211979/video-landing-page?autoStart=true&topVideoCatNo=default&clipId=6660851

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  10. rlaWTX, I see your avatar has changed again! From cats to bombs to snakes! I'm seeing a dangerous trend here. LOL!

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  11. "What does Conservative Republican mean to you?"

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  12. While I like Hawk's question very much, I would ask:

    Romney: "Tell me something you believe in passionately and why."

    Newt: "Is there anything you won't say to get elected?"

    Ricky: "At what point does the government trying to micromanage the economy become socialism?"

    Paul: "What exactly would you do if Iran nuked an Israeli city? Or Berlin?"

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  13. BTW, rlaWTX, That's a good question, which one is Newt? I view them as a symbiotic organism. So basically, they both do.

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  14. I have to get up REALLY early to take a flight to see my baby girl in one of her last swim meets (college senior)! I am psyched to see her and for the banquet but I will need to tear myself away from the debates at a decent hour!! I hope we'll get a recap!!

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  15. Cris, Best of luck to your daughter!

    A recap will be difficult because of our schedule. Perhaps Lawhawk can provide a recap? If not, we can try to leave our thoughts at the end of the thread!

    Good question by the way, I'll bet they all fumble that one.

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  16. Since I have abandoned all hope that Fast & Furious, Solyindra, or Keystone XL will ever come up in any debate, as moderator I would resign myself to asking each of the questions posed in the Beatles' "With a Little Help from My Friends."

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  17. tryanmax, First jumpsuits and now musical debates? Hmm. I'm sensing a pattern here.

    Of course, that would make the debates more interesting if they had to perform each one according to a musical style.

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  18. I think they should have to juggles eggs or hand grenades when they answer questions...

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  19. Or flaming bags of polar bear poo!

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  20. Hillary just announced she's retiring. I guess clapping like a trained monkey at the SOTU was too much for her?


    Meanwhile, Egypt is now forbidding Americans from leaving the country. Obama's response: "who would want to leave Egypt?"

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  21. poor polar bears having to poo into flaming bags!

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  22. and the avatar is simply a response - not a threat...

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  23. Wow! Would Hillary have decided to retire and bake cookies had she been elected President?

    that's not really a question...

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  24. P.S. Hillary was "done in" by the Anthony weiner's junk mail" fiasco. Her assistant was his wife

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  25. Questions I'd ask each candidate? Hmmmm.

    Governor Romney, you recently described the individual mandate in the Mass. health-care plan as "fundamentally conservative," and implied the plan overall would be a good template for the other states. How can voters be certain that you'll repeal ObamaCare, given this attitude?

    Speaker Gingrich, given the disastrous state of our economy and our national debt, why are you talking about establishing a base on the moon?

    Congressman Paul, do you believe that America brought 9/11 on itself, or do you not?

    Senator Santorum, is there any difference between your economic policy and that of Obama's? If so, what?

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  26. Oh, and on an entirely unrelated note, this was on NBC a few minutes ago, when Tom Brokaw was giving a report on California and Governor Brown. Quote: "It isn't sunshine every day with the California economy, but Jerry Brown hasn't given up on big dreams."

    Thud.

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  27. So we can escape the horrible economy. I plan to move the country. And before you ask, the mirror array in the desert will be so I can see my reflection from the moon.

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  28. rlaWTX, Yeah, it's horrible they don't have non-flaming toilet facilities! LOL!

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  29. CrisD, Somehow, I don't think Hillary would be planning to retire if she had won the election.

    Not to mention, she's clearly anti-cookie... lousy commie swine!

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  30. Very savvy, Andrew. For years I've been privately hoping that Donny Osmond would run for the White House. Now my secret is out.

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  31. Hey Newt, how does this relate to your desire to build an actual Jurassic Park?

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  32. Wait, Newt wants to build an actual Jurassic Park? I may have to rethink this election...

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  33. Holy cow! Is there any stupid idea this man has not had?

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  34. Hmm. I can't find a feed for this at CNN?

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  35. We're just mailing it in tonight, folks.

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  36. Unfortunately, my supplies of alcohol and crack are pretty depleted from Monday and Tuesday nights. Anyone got extra?

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  37. A presidential race that's breaking all the rules...

    huh?

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  38. Welcome to CNN, land of well-worn cliches.

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  39. T-Rav, I'm chewing lead paint chips.

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  40. Remember when South Carolina was going to be the one that decided it all? Good times, good times....

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  41. You screwed up, you trusted us!

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  42. Maybe we should do the commentary in Spanish tonight?

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  43. How dare you introduce me!

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  44. Ladies and gentlemen, it's Haley Barbour's little brother!

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  45. Yo hablo espanol....

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  46. Rise for the national anthem, performed by Snoop Dog, who knows only 4 words of the lyrics.

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  47. Yo hablo espanol tambien!

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  48. Dude, I could have burned that national anthem up.

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  49. Mitt Romney es el filthy blue-blood!

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  50. I'm Candidate X. I like long walks on the beach and tricking the public.

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  51. Oops! Had my fingers crossed!

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  52. I can pander even in my opening statement.

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  53. Tag? Does he have a brother named Freeze?

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  54. Mysterious Asian GuyJanuary 26, 2012 at 8:09 PM

    You must not let the Newt touch water. Or feed him after midnight.

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  55. Why do I get the feeling that cough was one of the candidates trying to disguise a laugh?

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  56. WTF? So it's going to be slam Romney night from CNN?

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  57. I got just enough time to hear the Star-Spangled Banner and get a phone call from a stranded granddaughter. So instead of the debate, I'll be out doing the much more pleasant task of trying to figure out what's wrong with her car, in freezing temperatures. Sorry I'm bailing on everyone.

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  58. Hey, Asia Guy, and don't rear end Newt, he will explode.

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  59. So now Rick favors eVerify? Amazing.

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  60. Anyone wanna bet this is Santorum's best answer all night?

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  61. Mysterious Asian GuyJanuary 26, 2012 at 8:12 PM

    Ummmmm.....what do you mean by that?

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  62. So Newt's going to take 1 year to "control the border"?

    Hmmm... lots of words, but no meaning whatsoever.

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  63. So now you can stay here if you're a grandparent.

    What if you own more than four hats?

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  64. Wolf Blitzer, moderator in name only.

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  65. Andrew, they have to be red hats.

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  66. That's an asinine question by Wolf. "Self deportation" means they go home when they can't find work, it DOESN'T mean we have self-deportation day! idiot

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  67. Ron Paul's Corpus Christi district is close to 200 miles from the Mexican border. #Fact Check

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  68. So Paul is now suggesting open borders?

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  69. I was told this question would involve gold.

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  70. WTF? This is totally "please smear Romney" night isn't it? Thanks Wolf.

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  71. Newt is prepared to be very tough and very bold....

    .... in granting amnesty.

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  72. How come when I mentioned the word "heartless," it was bad?

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  73. Wow, he speaks like the worst kind of lawyer. Not one thing Newt said was honest and it was ALL misleading.

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  74. You wouldn't like me when I'm angry.

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  75. Romney is kicking his butt. Good for him. Nice passion!

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  76. I have honestly never seen a candidate who lies and distorts as easily as Newt.

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  77. Okay, so like I was kind of rooting for Newt a little bit before this circus started? Yeah, about that....

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  78. So Wolf has now asked 5 questions and they've all been attacks on Romney.

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  79. I guess I need to ask Paul and Santorum something...

    "Don't you hate Romney?"

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  80. Good question from the audience! :)

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  81. What?! Oh, that's just silly talk. Don't pay attention to that; just go back to your TV shows and your things....

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  82. I would steal their gold.

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  83. Ok, I actually agree about opening up with Cuba.

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  84. Okay, so if I understand right, libertarianism involves not lifting a finger to do anything about totalitarian communist regimes which could pose a danger to libertarian ideas. Right.

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  85. Yeah, we screwed Hondorus... thank Barack.

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  86. T-Rav, Liberalism is the same. Human rights are things the US fails at... no one else deserves them.

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  87. I guess Ron Paul figured he's not gonna win FL anyway, so why bother finding rapport with Cuban voters?

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  88. Paul is right in a sense, but completely wrong as usual. We need to use economic power.

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  89. Eee-eee-eee-eeeeee!!!!

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  90. Ricky's actually right for once. I wonder how that happened?

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  91. So now Wolf is "fact checking" Romney in the middle of the debate.

    This is incredibly biased.

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  92. Wall, meet my head. Head, wall.

    (pound) (pound)

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  93. Here's my question: Do you think Romney's how is too expensive?

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  94. And of course Wolf quickly changed the subject before Mitt could finish calling him out on it. Fail.

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  95. We should have had a whistle blower and not a horn tooter... nice!

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  96. T-Rav, CNN should have called this the: "CNN Attacks Romney Debate"

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  97. Barack Hussein ObamaJanuary 26, 2012 at 8:31 PM

    You're welcome!!

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  98. touchy feely bull$hit. We need a pres. who's a business leader, not a bleeding heart!

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  99. Newt "had about enough of this."

    Now it's time to smear Romney for holding investments. Nice.

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  100. Okay. I give up. Romney is the only one who's been saying consistently conservative things, whether or not he really believes them, and Gingrich is acting like a total liberal in attacking him. You win. Go Romney.



    God help me.

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  101. Whooops. Newt goes down in flames.

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  102. T-Rav, Welcome to the gray side. We have a nice dental plan.

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  103. this is crappity crap crap! Who cares who made what!!!! $U)(@Q&%(W)#TU(

    Issues, a-holes! Come on! Grrrrr.

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  104. Romney is kicking Newt's butt here.

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  105. Can we just go to dueling banjos or something to settle this?

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  106. I find it stunning how happily Newt tars other people with his own sins and then lies and deflects. This man is fundamentally dishonest.

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  107. Tam, how silly of you! These are the Republican debates! We don't do issues!

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  108. Paul is being largely sane tonight, but he's not being very interesting this time.

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  109. You know, Paul would be a lot more persuasive if he worked on controlling his pitch.

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  110. WTF? That's twice Santorum has been right tonight.

    I must be in T-Rav's alternate universe.

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  111. When Santorum and Paul are being the voices of reason, you know it's a bad debate.

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  112. T-Rav's Alternate UniverseJanuary 26, 2012 at 8:37 PM

    We have cookies....

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  113. It's CNN, of course it's a bad debate.

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  114. By the way, I'm looking at other blogs, and the across-the-board opinion is that Romney's winning hands-down.

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  115. This is seven times now in a row Wolf's questions have asked them to attack Romney.

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  116. The Obama AdministrationJanuary 26, 2012 at 8:41 PM

    Hey, what's so great about transparency?

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  117. "This is a nonsense question."


    I don't believe that, in fact I've been acting the other way, but I hear that's popular to say

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  118. It is nonsense...talk issues and stop it!

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  119. I think Gingrich paused and took stock during the commercial.

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  120. Wait. What? They started it an hour earlier than the last one? Well, I'm guessing I didn't miss much.

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  121. Romney's defense is good, but he should have followed the herd and said let's talk issues.

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  122. You know what? You guys may want to write to your loved ones right now, because I'm seriously thinking about shutting this universe portal down and staying over here.

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  123. tryanmax, It's been a CNN disgrace and Romney has been kicking the crap out of Newt.

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  124. Well, I'm glad to hear they didn't silence the crowd.

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  125. So Wolf smears Romney in 8/8 questions now.

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  126. Boooo!!! Newt Gingrich, booo!!!!

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  127. who the hell cares. crappity crap crap crap. Grrrrrrrr!

    All that leading up to a flat tax proposal.

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  128. Reagan had 28% because he couldn't get it lower with a Democratic Congress.

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  129. What universe is this? I'm hearing defense of capitalism and lower taxes. This is a dream, right?

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  130. DC, I didn't know Wolf was on Newt's payroll, but I think it was an interesting slip when Newt said they were friends.

    Besides, doesn't Newt hate the media and vice versa?

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  131. Actually, I'll take this over the NBC debate. At least Wolf's getting some pushback from the audience.

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  132. tryanmax, It's been weird tonight.

    1. Romney was passionate.
    2. Santorum and Paul are making sense.
    3. T-Rav seem to have come over to accepting Romney.

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  133. tryanmax, I think we're having a collective acid trip. Romney is being the most conservative, Andrew thinks Santorum is making good points....it's a mad, mad, mad, mad, mad world.

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  134. Sir, Aren't you too damn old?

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  135. T-Rav is accepting Romney? Shoulda listened to the Mayans.

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  136. Newt likes to manipulate the media...and Wolf enjoys making any Repub look bad.

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  137. Do you mind if I jam a flashlight up your rear?

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  138. Oi! Now that the tax returns are out, we need medical records? What next? Kindergarten finger-paintings?

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  139. How about college transcripts?

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  140. Ever notice how the media is much more interested in inspecting the candidates' personal stuff than they were in Obama's? Isn't that weird?

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  141. I want a permanent base on Uranus... ;)

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  142. "what a long strange trip it's been"....

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  143. CNN Debate....IN SPPAAACCCEEEE!!!!

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  144. Andrew, that's what the media apparently wants of the candidates.

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  145. Danger, danger America! Newt Gingrich is a #%&#ing idiot!

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  146. Actually, NASA has an impressive procurement department and they fund science. Newt knows this.

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  147. T-Rav- these candidates should be putting in those zingers about BHO's lack of revelations.

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  148. I want to give people money to fly to Paris.

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  149. That was literally the strangest answer I have heard in my whole life.

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  150. America did reach the moon before China, Newt. Or do you mean to meet them when they arrive?

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  151. Somebody help me... Ricky's making sense again.

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  152. Andrew, before you ask, no you don't have vertigo. Santorum is really saying these things.

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  153. Education instead of social indoctrination will bring more scientists, etc...

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  154. And Paul is doing well.

    This is a strange debate.

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  155. Space... the final frontier.

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  156. Go Ron, fly them to the moon and let them float among the stars...

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  157. YAY!!! Privatize the industry!

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  158. So, Paul is against defense, unless the threat comes from the moon? I think I'm finally getting a clear picture of his foreign policy.

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  159. T-Rav, I think the candidates should be checked for brain slugs tonight to see if they are speaking their own minds.

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  160. Hey, if we make dinosaurs, we can put them on the moon!

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  161. OMG! Jurassic Park on the Moon! Will there be Amazon Women there?

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  162. What do we need 6/7 launches a day for?

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  163. We don't want the moon, we want Nepal.

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  164. Andrew, space mirrors don't put themselves in orbit.

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  165. You know what would be great? If we could build something like the Death Star, something big enough to blow up the whole planet for defense! No one would dare touch us then!

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  166. Romney just tagged Newt's pandering.

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