Latino Theme Parks

Barack Obama's Secretary of the Interior Ken Salazar has now been recruited to bring back the Hispanic votes for the post-racial President. They've largely failed on the Dream Act, and the economy is so bad that even the illegals are starting to leave. So what to do? Start creating more Latino-themed national parks and historic landmarks.

No, I'm not talking about more Taco Bells. They're about as Hispanic as Arby's Roast Beef. El Pollo Loco is closer, if only because I'd love to have a national landmark called "The Crazy Chicken." Salazar is talking about real parks and real landmarks. And while he's at it, he thinks parks and landmarks should also increase the representation of women, African-Americans and other "minority" groups. Obama has basically lost the middle class of all colors and ethnicities, so it's time to make a big splash to draw back the victim groups.

Obama first appealed to the Hispanic demographic during his famous Cinco de Cuatro speech. Things have been going downhill ever since. Now, he realizes that he has a built-in Latino to do his demagoguing for him. Pan y Circos (bread and circuses) are out, parks and landmarks are in. Obama and Salazar deny that this is about vote-getting. Salazar says "the White House meetings following Hispanic Heritage Month have nothing to do with electoral politics--and are instead designed to improve the country's poor preservation of Hispanic history and culture." And if you believe that, I still have that orange bridge in San Francisco I'm willing to sell you cheap.

I don't want to be difficult, but in California alone there are four major landmarks not named after famous Swedes--San Francisco, Los Angeles, Sacramento, and San Diego. Salazar doesn't care. His view is that "less than three percent of all the national landmarks we have are dedicated to 'minorities.'" So now, conveniently, is the time to start catching up because "that tells you that the score is not even." It's purely coincidental that the time to do it coincides with the nadir of Obama's popularity among minorities and the opening shots of the 2012 electoral wars.

It's also coincidental that on Wednesday, the White House held a major conference at the executive mansion to discuss Latino heritage. The mission statement of the conference: "To focus on whether the government is properly serving Hispanic students, small business owners, military veterans, and artists." The four California cities I mentioned aren't enough, so Salazar met earlier with California National Park Rangers to try to identify Latino-themed sites in the state. I hope they met at historic and tourist-popular Olvera Street in Los Angeles.

Salazar has said that there's a huge history of Latinos in the United States that's never been told. How that is going to be advanced by creating or altering national parks and landmarks he didn't say. One spot he would like to choose is the "Forty Acres" used by Cesar Chavez during his attacks on farms, farmers, and unwilling migrant farm workers. Here's a snap quiz: Name any California city with a population over 500,000 that doesn't have a street, avenue or boulevard named after Cesar Chavez.

Not to be outdone by the Martin Luther King, Jr. memorial in Washington DC, Salazar has recently involved himself in the proposed National Museum of the American Latino. Salazar and multiple Latino special pleaders, with the enthusiastic support of the DC city planning commission are looking to locate the museum near the Capitol, at an estimated cost of $600 million. Now, Salazar has ordered a national study (cost unknown) of people and places worthy of national historic preservation.

I have a suggestion. The Alamo was designated a national historical landmark in 1960. Whites, Texans, expansionists, jingoistic norteamericanos, and xenophobes co-opted the site. So in 2011-2012, the Alamo should be re-designated a Latino Historical Landmark. After all, the Mexicans won that battle, didn't they?