Bomb-Throwing Radicals

Pastor Barack Obama stepped down from his pulpit after reminding us earlier this week that we are our brothers’ (and sisters’) keepers. Of course, that’s not what the Bible is telling us we should be, and it certainly isn’t telling us to turn over the responsibility for our fellow man (and woman) to a distant, impersonal secular government.

But enough of that religion talk. Obama has now moved into full-blown pseudo-academic scold mode. The Great Intellect has discovered radicals under the bed. No, not William Ayers, Bernadine Dohrn, or the Rev. Jeremiah Wright. Those moderates live next door to the President in Chicago and don’t have to hide under the bed. They’ve been given a clean bill of health by the mainstream media, and their records of homicidal activity and hate have been expunged. We’re talking about the radical agitators in the Republican Party.

It explains why in three and a half years, the administration has yet to produce a budget that Congress can approve. All the while, the Savior-in-Chief has been too busy ferreting out subversive members of the opposition party to be bothered with getting America back on the road to fiscal health. Any day now, he will stand in front of the cameras, holding up a sheet of paper, and proclaim “I have in my hand a list of forty-eleven subversive radical right-wingers who have infested Congress.”

After making sure to threaten the United States Supreme Court with serious consequences if it struck down his beloved health care law, the Ivy League grad proceeded to draw all kinds of parallels to radicalism that he learned from Howard Zinn’s A People’s History of the United States and Mad Magazine editorials.

Addressing the American Society of Newspaper Editors, The One exposed the Republican budget proposal (advocated largely by Rep. Paul Ryan) for what it really is—a Trojan horse. He was attempting to indicate that the Republicans are not only radical, but they’re trying to conquer Troy on the Potomac using sneaky tactics, something the Democrats would never do in their efforts to protect the poor, the meek and the lowly.

Says Obama: “Disguised as deficit reduction, it is really an attempt to impose a radical vision.” That vision is based on the obscene idea that you can’t spend more than you take in, then borrow more to cover the gap. If you ran your household using that ridiculous principle, you would soon find yourself solvent—a very radical concept.

The Big O then went on to channel Zinn (and Marx) with bold historical facts and early Progressive-era logic. “It is thinly-veiled social Darwinism. It is antithetical to our entire history as a land of opportunity and upward mobility for everybody who’s willing to work for it; a place where prosperity doesn’t trickle down from the top, but grows outward from the heart of the middle class. And by gutting the very things we need to grow an economy that’s built to last [until the end of his reign?]—education and training, research and development, our infrastructure—it is a prescription for decline.”

I was touched. I have to love a President who understands the importance of the middle class. But I suspect most of you are foolish enough to think the middle class is comprised of hard-working, free enterprise, business-oriented, family-loving, wage-earning, business-building, risk-taking beneficiaries of the Enlightenment, the Founders, and the authors of the Constitution. You would be wrong because you’re not as smart as the former editor of the Harvard Law Review.

The middle class is not at all what you thought it was. It’s actually comprised of government workers, generational welfare recipients, menial laborers who don’t bother to show up for work, union bosses, the 49% who pay no income taxes, and the 99% who occupy the centers of evil capitalism. And now you know.

The crazy radical budget proposed by Rep. Ryan and passed handily by Republicans in the House of Representatives would destroy the American economy. It cuts ten year spending by $5.3 trillion, reforms entitlement spending, flattens income taxes to 10% for the low earners and 25% for the high earners, and opens the debate for eliminating corporate tax loopholes while reducing corporate taxes and cutting or eliminating capital gains taxes. These subverters of the public good have a truly radical agenda—to fundamentally transform America (back into what it was in its glory days). Imagine that!

Obama knows that cutting corporate deductions, allowing enforcement without government intervention into contracts for insurance companies, credit card companies and mortgage lenders, and encouraging businesses development by reducing their tax and regulatory burden instead of priming the pump with taxpayer money are really just thinly-disguised ways of (in his own words) “taking advantage of American citizens while recklessly handing out tax cuts to the wealthiest.”

He dug up some more recent Democratic epithets for supply-side economics and the Laffer Curve, including “tickle-down economics” and “voodoo economics” (the latter stolen from Republican President George Bush I). He then summed up the Republican budget by saying it “made the contract with America look like the New Deal.” Primary candidate Newt Gingrich (R-Bellevue Hospital Mental Ward) helped his man in the White House out by calling the proposed budget “right-wing social engineering.” See? There really is such a thing as bipartisanship.

This is truly a man of the people, much like Julius Cæsar. He is protecting us helpless plebes from those predatory patricians. And he hasn’t even asked to be made dictator for life—yet. Yessir, he will stop them from throwing granny off the cliff, grandpa out into the snow and denying healthy food for the little ones.

Lest we think he doesn’t mean it, he has made it clear that he’s not going to let a gang of unelected judges do to his beloved Obamacare what an earlier court did to FDR’s National Recovery Act and Agricultural Adjustment Act. Just like Obamacare, those laws protected the right of the government to decide “what’s fair.” But those radical judges interfered with the government’s high-minded ability to make America a land of milk and honey by citing that useless old Constitution. I think I read that last part in the Harvard Law Review.