Sexy Currency

Let’s talk about sex. Whoo hoo! Yep, sex, sex, sex. It turns out Obama’s gay marriage stance isn’t going down too well. It’s now ok to look at kiddie porn in New York, so long as you don’t own it. And Canada is about to issue a pornographic $20 bill. Oh, yeah.

Issue One: Gay Rage. Yesterday, Obama came out of the closet on behalf of something he’s always believed in deeply but previously refused to support for no reason whatsoever except that he wasn’t evolved enough to act on his beliefs until Joe Biden evolved him: gay marriage. Yep. Now gay marriage will be the law of the land. Oh, wait. . . there’s some fine print here. Hmm. Has Obama lied again?

Indeed he has. Right after Obama decided to declare his support for gay marriage, people with brains (i.e. conservative) began to snicker that Obama was trying to mislead his supporters. By last night, his supporters had caught on. In a rather nasty article, Gawker noted that Obama’s promise was all smoke and mirrors. Observe:

“It seems fairly clear from the network's coverage that his announcement amounts to much less than meets the eye. He now believes that gay couples should be able to marry. He doesn't believe they have a right to do so. This is like saying that black children and white children ought to attend the same schools, but if the people of Alabama reject that notion—what are you gonna do?”

Oh, the irony of accusing Obama of supporting modern segregation. I love it when liberals get all self-righteous on each other. Perhaps they can now call him an Uncle Tom like they do to Clarence Thomas?

In any event, the tone of the article is downright rude, like when they called Obama’s state’s rights evasion: “a half-assed, cowardly cop-out.” And I suspect the tone will only get worse over the coming weeks because one thing the gay lobby is not is civil. The fun is just beginning and it couldn’t have happened at a worse time with his campaign struggling to find its footing.

Issue Two: I Own What? In 2009, Professor James D. Kent of Marist College in New York was convicted of promoting a sexual performance of a child and possession of child pornography, i.e. kiddie porn. But part of his conviction was just overturned. Why? Because the evidence was found in his web browser’s cache, which stores everything you’ve looked at, and he argued that he was not even aware his browser had a cache, so he can’t possibly have knowingly possessed the porn.

New York’s appellate level court agreed that images found in a cache are not proof of possession. Kent’s conviction still stands for the 13,000 images of 8-9 year old girls in lingerie which he had on his harddrive, but apparently those in the browser don’t count as him having “dominion and control over the images.” Now, on the one hand, I can understand that a browser may capture an inadvertent image. I’ve been re-directed to all kinds of places I never wanted to be and those images get into the cache, and it shouldn’t be a crime to have a couple such images stumble their way onto your computer. But give me a break, there is no doubt he was out there looking for this stuff and was just too stupid to clean out his cache. What this ruling does is essentially make is legal to look at kiddie porn in New York so long as you don’t save it to your harddrive. That’s like saying it should be illegal to possess heroin, but it’s not illegal to shoot up on it so long as you use somebody else’s stash.

Issue Three: Porno Dollars. Finally, Canada, i.e. Northern Maine, will be issuing a new $20 dollar bill in November, and it isn’t going over too well. That’s largely because they picked a stupid design. Apparently, a focus group which looked at the bill thought it was “too pornographic” because it contains three naked women clinging to the 9/11 Twin Towers (in America). Here’s the bill, eh:

Interestingly, the structure is not the 9/11 Twin Towers, it is a memorial called the Vimy Memorial, a wartime memorial honoring thousands of Canadian servicemen and which symbolizes the unity between France and Canada. And the topless chicks are known as the Chorus, and they represent Justice and Peace, Truth and Knowledge, Hope, Charity, Honor and Faith. Here is a photo of the memorial.

Personally, I think the bill is uglier than a sewer of Pelosi. Plus, I’m wondering why no one was offended by the swamp monster wearing the tee-shirt with the old lady on it? But I won’t laugh too hard at our neighbors from the Moose Realm because I’m sure our next dollar won’t be much better. In fact, here’s a sneak peek. . .

At least it’s not a damn coin.