Saturday, November 14, 2009

New York State of Mind - Notes from an Emigrant

It was a dark and stormy Saturday...

As the remnant of Hurricane Ida blow through this afternoon, I am doing something quintessentially New York – sitting in a national chain coffee bar, sipping a latte, and writing on my new netbook. Can I tell you how hip and cool I feel! Anyway, on to other New York-ish news…


Sports - I got nothing. Giants are losing and Knicks couldn't win a game even if their opponent didn't show up!

Local Politics – Well, I am sure you have heard the news by now. Al Qaeda is coming to a Federal Court near you…me…us. The Southern District of New York in Manhattan will play host to Khalid Shaikh Muhammed and his 4 cohorts in what will probably be billed as the trial of the century. Mayor Michael Bloomberg has assured us that we are more than safe and I am sure we are. Our police, firefighters, FBI, and Homeland Security detail are the best that exist, but who will protect us from AG Holder? Since you know all of the details, I will leave it to our intrepid AndrewPrice and LawHawk to give us the legal implications of this move. I can add only my visceral response and personal impressions -Did the timing bother any of you? Waiting until Friday afternoon while the President is out of the country bowing to yet another foreign power to spring this on us is unconscionable. Whether NYC will become a target for Al Qaeda is irrelevant because…umm…we have been a target for the last 20 years now. But what is relevant is what happens if they are not convicted or set free ten blocks from their crime against humanity? Will we have to call this a regular old hate crime, a crime of passion, or maybe, they can plead innocent by reason of insanity? Thanks for nothing AG Holder.

– Another African-American University professor was arrested last week AND President Obama did NOT step in to the fray! There will be no beer at the Whitehouse for Columbia University Professor Lionel McIntyre after he was arrested this week for throwing a punch at a white female colleague in a heated barroom debate on white privilege in America.

–I heard through the Starbucks grapevine that Mayor Illegal Third Termer Michael Bloomberg is going to repeal his repeal of term limits in New York City. How convenient for him. I guess spending $90,000,000 and winning by only 5% knocked some sense into our Mayor. If not, there's a professor at Columbia University...

State Politics - There was new drama in District 23 of New York (a/k/a NY23) this week. When we last left this race, the Democrat Bill Owens won the seat leaving the Conservative Independant candidate Doug Hoffman in the dust. Well, while recanvassing of votes, counting discrepancies were discovered in Oswego County, the largest of the 11 districts that comprise the 23rd District. On election day, the official returns had Hoffman behind by 500 votes in Oswego County. With 93% of the polls reporting Hoffman decided to concede the race to Owens. Owens was sworn in the House quickly and subsequently voted for the House healthcare bill. Well, after routine recanvassing, it turns out Owens may not have won after all. When all of the votes were counted instead of being behind by 500 votes, Hoffman actually lead by over 1700 votes. Other reporting discrepancies were found and now they are recounting the votes. There is an outside chance that Hoffman actually won. Doubtful, but it may have been much closer than thought. We shall have to wait and see.

-Our very own New York ex-Lov Guv Elliott Spitzer will be giving an ethics lecture at Harvard Law School. Does the topic really matter? Now granted he is a graduate of this Ivy league institution, but ethics? Really, how ethical is it to break the law by taking a woman across state lines for the purposes of illegal prostitution while simultaneously serving as an elected Attorney General in charge of arresting suspects who take women across state lines for the purposes of illegal prostitution?

Rangel News – Charles Rangel is still chairman of the House Ways and Means committee, BUT it has been reported that his days of being the go-to guy for Democrat fundraising are over. Because of his various unresolved ethics investigations that just get wider and deeper as each day passes, politicians no longer want to feed at the Rangel money trough. In other words, Rangel has become a toxic swamp thing. Good thing, because his legal bills are climbing into the millions and lucky for him using his campaign funds to pay them is not unethical.

Finally, did I forget to tell you that New York State is now officially broke. Never Elected Governor David Patterson announced this week that New York needs to come up with $8billion worth of budget cuts or we will be closed by Christmas. Too bad those gazillionaires on Wall Street won’t be much help… Thanks, Barack!

That's all until next week...

15 comments:

AndrewPrice said...

Bev, Hilarious! Great article.

How amazingly hypocritical that Bloomberg would change the law to let himself run again, and then immediately move to change it back. You'd think he was Ted Kennedy or something!

Good luck with the bankruptcy. Maybe Lawhawk can give you tips for how to fend of rogue tax collectors. :-(

Maybe New York can sell tickets to the trial?

BevfromNYC said...

Thanks Andrew! Tickets to the trial! That's a great idea. Maybe we can just move it up town to one of our Broadway theatres!I'll pass it on.

As for Bloomberg It must be a Massachusetts thing. You know he is from Boston...

Lawhawk - HELP ME!!! What am I supposed to do about the bankruptcy??

Anonymous said...

Gee, Bev: We haven't had any really exciting trials here in San Francisco since the early 70s, and now you get one that puts all of ours together to shame. I can't vouch for New York, but even here in San Francisco if Khalid Sheikh Mohammed is somehow miraculously found not guilty and released, he might has well have a bullseye painted on his back.

As for Bloomberg and his plan to reinstate term limits for the mayor, it sounds an awful lot like Teddy Kennedy's Massachusetts reversal of the reversal of the original law on appointing new Senators.

StanH said...

Fun read Bev! I love the changing results in NY-23. If Hoffman had any charisma what so ever, he could have beat Owens. That to me is the true tale of NY-23, field good candidates in 2010 and we can send Nancy back to SF to spend more time with Lawhawk!

The Bloomberg saga is a cautionary tale for all billionaires, wanting to be king of the city. Americans still distrust people wanting power to much, there is hope!

Anonymous said...

StanH: What did I ever do to you that was so horrible as to deserve a curse like that? LOL

AndrewPrice said...

Yeah, I was going to say that Stan seems to hold a grudge against you there Lawhawk!

By the way, any advice for Bev on what to do about the pending bankruptcy?

MegaTroll said...

Bev, Cool article! They say New York is the city that never sleeps and now we know why. Don't take any IOUs from the state.

Anonymous said...

Andrew: Sure. The NY people should call Gavin Newsom's financial people here in San Francisco. They could pool their resources and end up too big to fail.

BevfromNYC said...

Thanks LawHawk. Have Gavin's people call Dave's people. But why do I think they may already be the same people...

Here's my solution - Bloomberg has $5 billion and we need about $5 billion. Hmmm, maybe he could just buy us like he wants to anyway and we would all be saved...

AndrewPrice said...

Bev, Do a competitive bid -- I recall they once put West Virginia on eBay. . . until someone "in authority" figured out what was happening. The principle is sound though.

StanH said...

The solution is really quite simple, Patterson should just raise taxes. That’s worked out so well, just tag it “for the children.”

The Hasbro people know and understand just how important Nancy is to all the people of SF. And just in time for X-mas, they have come up with a two foot tall pull toy, and as you drag it behind you, it repeats some of Nancy’s most beloved phrases, with her delightful fixed glare. As a faithful follower of Commentarama Lawhawk, I’m sending you in appreciation you’re very own. No need for an address it’ll find you.

BevfromNYC said...

StanH: That reminds me of an episode of Night Gallery that haunts me to this day. Does anyone remember the one with the doll with teeth? {{{{shutters}}}}}

And now I have the image of an army of plastic Nancies chasing us down the street with Botox filled syringes chanting "Yes We Can"! Aaaaahhhhhh. Run, LawHawk, Run!!! He seemed so nice...

Anonymous said...

Bev and StanH: I've installed a new "doll detector" on my alarm system. Laser fire disables the doll. Come and get me, Nancy!

StanH said...

Good one Bev, I hadn’t thought of Night Gallery.

Lawhawk resistance is futile : (

“Your” not “you’re” …pardon!

Writer X said...

Rangel and ethics in the same sentence makes my head hurt. Regarding the Gitmo terrorists, I just read that they will potentially be housed in an Illinois jail. No doubt Daley or Valerie Jarrett owns a stake in the jail. It not what you know but who?

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