Friday, May 7, 2010

Ahmadinejad Took The Field

President Obama marches across the White House lawn to the tune of Hail to the Chief at about the same time that Mahmoud Ahmadenijad was calling the tune at the United Nations General Assembly. The sight of the Bearded One from Iran was so inspiring that it caused me to wax poetic. I also found a tune to match the words: American Pie.

A long, long time ago--
I can still remember
How the speeches used to make me smile.
And I knew if we had a chance
That we could make the rubble dance,
And maybe we'd be safe just for awhile.

But May has really made me shiver
With every news that was delivered.
Bad news on the TVs;
The UN loves jihadis.

I can't remember if I cried,
When they didn't know that Mahmoud lied.
But something touched me deep inside.
The day the UN died.

So bye-bye, Miss American Pie.
Drove my GM to the UN
But those tyrants all lie.
And sad young twerps were drinkin' whiskey and rye,
Singin' "this will be the day that we die.
This will be the day that we die."

Did you write the Book of Hate,
And do you have faith in Allah the Great?
If the Koran tells you so?
Do you have faith in shuck and jive,
Can terror keep us all alive,
And can you teach me how to die real slow?

Well, I know that you're in love with him,
'Cause I saw you smooching in the gym.
You all kicked off your shoes,
So you could hear him twist the news.

I was an older U.S. broncin' buck,
With a flag lapel pin and no pickup truck,
But I knew that I was out of luck,
The day the UN died.

Repeat CHORUS.

Now for nine years we've been on our own,
And world peace sank like a hunk of stone,
But that's not how it used to be.
When the Jester sang for the Middle East,
In a coat made out of Persian beast,
And a voice not made for you and me,

Oh, and while the West was looking down,
The Jester stole its former crown.
The confab was adjourned;
No peace pact was returned.
And while Boris read a book on Marx,
Jihadists practiced in the park,
And we sang dirges in the dark,
The day the UN died.

Repeat CHORUS.

Helter skelter in a summer swelter,
We're all going to need a fallout shelter.
Eight miles high, and falling fast.
His deeds are going to burn your ass,
And it's too late for a bomber pass.
With the Jester leaving town, and real fast.

Now the air vents smelled of sweet perfume,
While jihadis played their marching tune.
We all got up to dance, but we never got the chance.
'Cause the players tried to take the field,
But dear A-Jad he refused to yield.
Do you recall what was revealed,
The day the UN died?

Repeat CHORUS.

And then we were all in one place,
A nation clearly lost in space,
With little time to start again.
So come on Barack, just be quick,
And use a weapon not a candlestick.
Cause fire is that devil's only friend.
And as I watched him on the stage,
My hands were clenched in fists of rage.
No angel born in hell, could break that A-Jad's spell.
And as the flames climb high into the night,
To light the jihad's vicious rite,
I saw Satan laughing with delight.
The day the UN died.

Repeat CHORUS.

I met sweet Hill, who sings the blues,
And I asked her for some happy news,
But she just humphed and walked away.
I went down to the history store,
Where I'd read good speeches years before,
But the man there said that the books there were too gay.

And in the streets, the cowards screamed.
The weak-kneed cried, and the Demos dreamed.
But not a word was spoken,
The West's will had been broken.
And the three men I admire the most,
The Father, Son and the Holy Ghost,
Were banished to the farthest coast
The day the UN died.

Repeat CHORUS.

On the appearance of Iran's Mahmoud Ahmadinejad before the UN General Assembly (with apologies to Don McLean).


AndrewPrice said...

I think I would have preferred Hail to the Chief, but then I'm a traditionalist.

Anonymous said...

Andrew: For Obama, it should be "Hail to the Chump," and for the bearded one it should be "Hail to the Thief."

Writer X said...

OMG, you must copyright this. Now I can't get the song (or the image of a bumbling Obama) out of my head. I knew I was in a for a treat when I read, "How the speeches used to make me smile..."

Bravo, LawHawk.

Anonymous said...

WriterX: I was just hoping it wasn't so close that I infringed on a copyright belonging to someone else. But I appreciate the attaboy from a fellow artiste.

Joel Farnham said...


Nice Job. :-)

Anonymous said...

Thanks, Joel. I'm hoping people will find it as "mysterious" as the original so that twenty or thirty years from now they're still trying to figure out all the references. LOL

HamiltonsGhost said...

Lawhawk--Publish it with pictures that they can understand, and I'll send a copy to Obama and another to Imadinnerjacket.

Anonymous said...

HamiltonsGhost: Since neither of those two clowns knows anything about America, they'll have to make up their own tunes. I'm sure that "American Pie" is something neither would ever want to have anything to do with.

StanH said...

Funny stuff Lawhawk!

patti said...

law, when you are all done lawyering, i see another career for you.

DCAlleyKat said...

Wow LawHawk, waxing poetic eh....

applause, applause...and a standing "O"!!!

Anonymous said...

StanH: I just couldn't resist. LOL

Anonymous said...

Patti: I figure writing lyrics has gotta be better, and a lot more fun, than writing briefs.

Anonymous said...

DCAlleyKat: I'm glad you enjoyed it. I was cracking myself up while I was doing it, but my sense of humor doesn't always translate well.

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