Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Bumper-Sticker-Mania!

I can’t stand liberal bumper stickers. The level of idiocy makes my head hurt.

“Make love not war”? Are these really substitutes? They’re not mutually exclusive either, surely we could make both love and war? And wouldn’t we be better off aiming for peaceful co-existence rather than love. . . I mean seriously, have you see Ahmadinejad?

“War never solved anything”? Sure thing Shortbus, try telling that to the slaves and the Jews and everyone else who's ever been saved from mass murder by war.

“Believe the children”? That would be the same children who lie routinely to avoid trouble and to incriminate their siblings? Yeah, that's where we should be looking for guidance.

“Bush lied.” Yep. So did Obama, but you seem to like it when he lies to you. . . so I don't think your problem was the lying part.

“Keep your hands off my body”? Not a problem, I assure you Brunhilde. But while we’re at it, keep your filthy pot stained hands off my wallet. I'm not your slave. If you want something, go earn it.

“Coexist”? Sure, but you should probably be directing your bumper sticker at the guy in the turban who wants to kill us, not at the people who aren't trying to kill anyone.

“Arms are for hugging”? Yep, and strangling. And firearms keep people from strangling you.

These are just a small sampling of the idiocy out there. What’s your “favorite” stupid liberal bumper sticker?


P.S. As an aside, there is now a Commentarama bumper sticker!! Seriously. . . CLICK ME. We’re not making any money off this (honestly), so don’t think we’re trying to get rich quick on this. But we know that many of you like bumper stickers. . . lookin' at you Boiler Room Elves. . . and we thought you might like to have one. Don’t tell us if you don’t want one though, that would break our hearts.


33 comments:

BoilerRoomElf said...

Cool, we like it! We think we have a bit more room on the sleigh for another bumper sticker, Bossman!

JG said...

In college I seemd to always get stuck at the light behind a car with "Live simply, that others may simply live." Of course, to "live simply" is very relative. And granted, the person driving the car in question didn't have side windows and probably didn't have air conditioning, so I can't say they were being hypocritical. But odds are even they stopped by Starbucks on the way in.

AndrewPrice said...

Elves, I knew you would approve. Buy a dozen, pass them out in the boiler room!

AndrewPrice said...

JG, That's absolutely the kind of vague "non-thought" that is so popular on bumper stickers. It really says nothing, yet it sounds deep and philosophical.

BoilerRoomElf said...

We'll buy them in bulk and put them in everyone's Christmas stockings this year! Bah!

Pittsburgh Enigma said...

I've been seeing a lot more conservative bumper stickers these days than liberal bumper stickers, and Pittsburgh is a very liberal city. We have our share of annoying liberals around here, though. Some of my favorites include "Quagmire Accomplished" in reference to the Iraq war, and the letters "I-R-A-Q" in the image of a car odometer with the "Q" dial slowly changing to an "N", implying that we were going to "invade" Iran next. Funny, though, that these have been more and more rare. It seems that it's no longer fashionable to bash Bush on the rear-end of your car.

AndrewPrice said...

Great. . . now get back to work!

AndrewPrice said...

Pitts, I'm seeing an amazing drop in the number of liberal bumper stickers. I've even seen Priuses without the requisite Obama sticker. . . makes me wonder what's holding their cars together?

As for Bush bashing, it's too bad the Democrats in Congress haven't gotten that message yet.

Tennessee Jed said...

I always like the simple classic "W" from the 2004 campaign. It rhymes with Tennessee Jed. and the "miss me yet" is classic as well. JG, I hadn't seen the "Live Simply" before, but it made me want to hurl. How about "live extravagently, it's your right and you've earned it!" instead.

AndrewPrice said...

Jed, Simple is best for bumper stickers, but that's usually the problem. Usually you get simplistic and stupid messages that don't make any real sense.

CrispyRice said...

Andrew, I love the Commentarama bumper sticker! Great idea!

The one I want to get is the "If you're not outraged, you haven't been paying attention!"

Yeah, that's pretty darn fitting for these times!

CrispyRice said...

I should say - the one I'd like to co-opt from the left is the "If you're not outraged..."

:)

AndrewPrice said...

Crispy, It sounded like a good idea because we figured some people really like bumper stickers, so why not make a Commentarama bumper sticker.

As for co-opting the "not paying attention" bumper sticker, I agree. Just make sure you put something on it to keep liberals from thinking "hey, another liberal. . . maybe we can go get our benefits checks together." ;-)

CrispyRice said...

Good point, Andrew. I'll couple the "outraged" with a good old "NOBAMA" one, how about that? ;)

AndrewPrice said...

Crispy, That would work quite well!

ScottDS said...

Re: the "Coexist" bumper sticker, I certainly appreciate the sentiment but today, I'm more liable to say, "I'm ready but tell that to the other guy!"

In other news, I confess I once bought a bumper sticker that read, "I love bashing the religious right." I never affixed it to my car and I suppose I never had the courage of my convictions. (It was also a phase.) But I admit if I had been driving in the 80s, I might've had a "The Moral Majority is neither" sticker. :-)

When humorist/singer Kinky Friedman ran for governor of Texas a few years ago, they were selling bumper stickers that read, "My governor is a Jewish cowboy!" Even though I lived in Florida, I was tempted to get one, just for the novelty.

AndrewPrice said...

Scott, "My governor is a Jewish cowboy," that's kind of funny.

One I like that I saw the other day was "My honor student is smarter than my President."

LawHawkRFD said...

Andrew: I always liked "Support the right to arm bears." I intend to get a Commentarama bumper sticker, just as soon as I get a car, or at least a bumper.

AndrewPrice said...

Lawhawk, Have you checked the north 40 of your new ranch? There might be a bumper there. . . or a couple cars! ;-)

rlaWTX said...

I know that this is a bumper sticker rant, but I live in West TX. The annoying ones are rare enough that I almost (ALMOST) feel sorry for 'em.

However, I attend a local University (because it is local) and am working on my MA in Psychology (yeah, I know...). Anyway, in class last week there was a reasonably intelligent woman (in early 30's) who is a HS teacher, wearing a red t-shirt that said "CCCP" and had the hammer and sickle!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Luckily for me, before I exploded, the talk turned to the UN, the "Human Rights Charter" (don't ask), and how the signatories aren't really so Human Rights-ish - and I got to mention the little fact of the more than 20 million folks the Lenin, Stalin, et al managed to kill off. Made me feel sorta better, and I avoided saying anything directly about the idiot shirt.
But - puhlease - can someone tell me why???

[Thank you for allowing this contravention of the Commentarama rules]

AndrewPrice said...

rlaWTX, We've learned a long time ago that there are no Commentarama rules! So feel free break whatever rules we have! LOL!


I know what you mean about the Soviet paraphernalia. These same people would scream and protest anyone wearing Nazi symbols, but somehow they don't see a problem with wearing Soviet symbols, even though both the Nazis and the Communists are about equal when it comes to evil and mass murder -- not to mention that they were ideological twins.

But that's part of the big lie that the left tells to disassociate themselves from the evil deeds done in their name -- "it wasn't us, those socialists were really right wing socialists."

Teresa said...

I live in Pittsburgh also, and I haven't seen too many liberal bumper stickers either.

AndrewPrice said...

Teresa, That's great! Let's hope that all those people who scraped off their prObama bumper stickers decide not to vote for him or his Democratic friends again.

Tam said...

I saw one that said "8 years you were quiet, NOW you're mad?" I would say "8 years you were mad, NOW you're quiet?"

AndrewPrice said...

Tam, Very nice turn around, especially since what you're saying is true and what they are saying is revisionism. Not to mention, everything we're upset at Bush for, they liked, i.e. massive deficit spending and increasing the size and scope of government.

Di said...

This is for rlaWTX. I might, maybe be able to shed a little light on the CCCP shirt. Back when I was taking Russian language courses in college (there was still an CCCP back then), lots of the students in my classes had those shirts, including my husband. At that time, and for us, it was just identifying with the language we were learning - it was definitely not political, just showing off our cyrillic alphabet skills.

USArtguy said...

quite possibly the greatest person in America today

USArtguy said...

Not political, but I like this one

StanH said...

Perfect USArtguy! …now that’s a bumper sticker. LOL!

AndrewPrice said...

Di, That may be part of it, but Soviet symbols are very popular at colleges and have been since at least the 1980s.


USArtguy, Nice. It took me a minute to get the Egyptian one.

MegaTroll said...

Trolls do it in style baby. ;D

AndrewPrice said...

Mega, I thought trolls did it under bridges?

rlaWTX said...

Di - I really wish I could buy that reason... maybe I'll ask about her undergrad... but I'd bet on stupidity instead. Is that cynical?

[Thanks for the indulgence on the rules.]

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