Monday, October 8, 2012

Barack Obama Sticks To The Big Issues

During the first presidential debate, Mitt Romney viciously attacked one of Barack Obama's senior advisers—Big Bird. The famous political pundit who speaks like a combination of a turkey and a turkey vulture was deeply-wounded by the wholly unwarranted attack. But ever loyal to his staff, Barack Obama rushed to the defense of the avian pundit. Not during the debate, of course, since that would have required quick thinking and a possible quicker response.

Recognizing that Big Bird is PBS debate moderator Jim Lehrer's boss, it became incumbent upon Obama to fire a warning shot across the bow of the good ship Romney—at a safe distance of course. So the day after the debate, and after deep introspective conversations with the Yellow One, our always humorous president mocked Romney's proposal of eliminating federal funding for PBS by intimating that one large bird could not possible be adding to the national deficit. Never mind the $445 million dollar funding going to parent PBS to promote left-wing causes and make fun of conservatives. Attempting to make Romney's satement look foolish, Obama said: “It’s about time. We didn’t know that Big Bird was driving the federal deficit. But that’s what we heard last night. How about that?”

Politicians who attempt to demonstrate tongue-in-cheek humor in public gatherings should first make sure they don't have a split tongue, more appropriate for searching out rats and mice rather than attacking political opponents. Most of the time, Obama uses his forked tongue to speak out of both sides of his mouth. It didn't work against Romney when Obama tried to use both splits on one side of his mouth.

That was not what Romney said at the debate. Instead, he made it clear that PBS is a drain on public funds and ought to be able to survive on their own if their programming had a broad enough appeal to those outside the ghettoes, the barrios, the Upper West Side, San Francisco, and West Los Angeles. But when not sermonizing in the guise of children and goofy fake animals, the left wing agenda is carried forward by Big Bird dressed and made up to look like Jim Lehrer and the other leftists pundits telling us all how we should live, and why capitalism is bad. What can you expect from a station whose main street is controlled by a bear-like monster who lives in a garbage can and demands cookies from passersby?

You see, Romney was making a point—with humor. Humor is something in which Obama has a big hole. Unless the “humor” is drawn from Joe Penner's jokebook or David Axelrod's collection of raucous and brilliant Chicago humor, the jokes absolutely escape Obama. Obama immediately (or some hours later) caught on, but at first saw an ethnic attack on a large avian person who is entirely blameless and so Obama had to become the knight in shining armor.

Naturally, Obama would have you believe it was a joke all along, and that he was merely countering with his own ironic joke. That's like expecting a slug to have self-awareness. The actual point Romney was making was about federally-supported programs in general, and PBS in particular. He followed his remark about “liking Big Bird” with a dictum: “Is the program so critical it's worth borrowing money from China to pay for it?

Obama was also worried about Oscar the Grouch (another unpleasant Muppet character). If the public funds are cut off, the unemployment numbers which just went down by .3% would again start to rise. As Kermit says, “it's not easy being green.” Particularly if being green is the only thing you had going for you, and now you have to get into the real labor market. I could suggest that I know a very good Southern-style restaurant which serves great frogs legs, but I'm not sure Kermit is up to that kind of sacrifice. Miss Piggy is safe, since she's a pig, and would never pass muster with PETA, the vegans, or the Islamists.

It's not easy being canary yellow, either. But I've figured out how it can all be saved using a successful, though dubious Obama philosophy: Big Bird is too big to fail. Keep them federal funds a comin'.

20 comments:

Individualist said...

Federal financing is 12% of PBS's budget. They refuse commercials om their programming.

How likely is it that should they start selling ad time they could make up the short fall.

This whole argument is specious.

T-Rav said...

They had Big Bird (no, the real Big Bird) on SNL this weekend--which, I might point out, for once did a killer job on Obama and the Left. The skit with BB was fairly amusing.

Weekend Update's Seth Meyers: "So, how did you find out about your being mentioned in the debate?"

Big Bird: "Oh, I got a million tweets about it, Seth."

"So a lot of people were sending stuff to your Twitter account, then?"

"No, the birds were tweeting at me, Seth. You know, because I'm a bird. What's Twitter?"

Koshcat said...

What is really frustrating is Obama could have easily answered the question is it worth borrowing money from China with a simple "yes I do." The problem with people like Obama and the left is their inability to show the voters who they really are. Instead they slink around the issue. They know that answer would not sit well with unemployed people who tune in to The View and Oprah at far higher numbers than PBS.

AndrewPrice said...

The Big Bird thing is hilarious. You know that when your guy has sunk to arguing that the other guy wants to cancel Big Bird, that he's got nothing left to offer.

tryanmax said...

I saw the SNL skit with Big Bird. I'm probably the only one here who noticed that the mouth work on the puppet was really bad. I don't know what to make of that.

T-Rav said...

What amazes me is that, if you replay that whole segment of the debate, it's fairly obvious what Romney was saying. He brought up PBS to Lehrer (without, as I recall, mentioning Sesame Street) right after bringing up ObamaCare with TOTUS. It was clear to me, listening to it again, that he was telling the two other people on that stage that he would be cutting things they liked, in order to tackle the deficit and restore stability. I thought it was a pretty good hit. How they can claim Romney's plan to fix the deficit is to cut PBS funding is beyond me.

LawHawkRFD said...

Indi: Have you noticed that when the artistes start talking about funding for PBS, they always say "but the government provides only 12% of the budget for PBS?" That's still $445 million dollars! Another huge chunk comes from tax-sheltered "foundations" which have drifted left over the years. The remainder comes from people who actually take money out of their own pockets to pay for the programming. Only the latter have any legitimacy as far as I'm concerned.

I'm sure ads for anti-American movies alone could make up the shortfall, and if the movies are promoting liberal/left causes, it's not really adverttising anyway, is it? LOL

LawHawkRFD said...

T-Rav: Are you suggesting I should start watching SNL again after giving up fifteen years ago?

LawHawkRFD said...

Koshcat: Well, since T-Rav brought it up, maybe that would have been a good answer for Obama. Then we could have regular routines on PBS called "Bad Chinese Opera" a la the Belushi routines from the original cast of SNL.

LawHawkRFD said...

Andrew: It wouldn't have been half as funny if Obama didn't take everything, including a good joke, so seriously.

LawHawkRFD said...

tryanmax: Wrong lipstick. I have friends who have friends in the TV production business, so I know these things. LOL

LawHawkRFD said...

T-Rav: That's your problem. You actually listened. Obama was off somewhere in la-la land and his spinners are trying to cover for that.

Joel Farnham said...

LawHawk,

This is just like the politicians saying that police, fire, and other assorted necessities will be HAVE to be cut if the latest tax increase doesn't go through. Cutting Big Bird is cutting PBS's nose to despite it's face.

I don't care if they DO cut Big Bird. I never liked him anyway.

Individualist said...

Lawhawk

So the Artists won't miss the money that much will they?

Who gets the money from Tickle me elmo dolls and the like? Seems to me that much of that is being paid to someone that profits from it.

Tennessee Jed said...

that a nickel of tax payer funds supports Nina Totenberg is outrageous. Almost as disappointing is that despite the fact this president has NOTHING positive to offer, Romney isn't lead by 40 points. That is a testament, I suppose to the power of ideology, the willingness of some in hard economic times to trade freedom for what they think is a little security, and an unwillingness to consider evidence unless it supports their worldview.

tryanmax said...

I venture that PBS could stay ad-free and still make up the 12% elsewhere. I'm sure they could get their "underwriters" to step up to close that. For anyone with time on their hands, here's some light reading:

PBS Funding Standards and Practices

Public Broadcasting System Underwriters, FY 2000

Underwriting Opportunities: Rick Steves' Europe

rlaWTX said...

I liked Sesame Street as a kid - but I only got to watch it a few times a year because kids did not control the TV in my folks' house! I also like Oscar the Grouch - he's my fav! But that was also -ummmm- maaaaanyyyyy years ago...

Yeah, TOTUS and Co have no sense of humor or sense of the Big Picture...

LawHawkRFD said...

rlaTWX: Getting kids to like Oscar the Grouch is a form of desensitization. I wouldn't have let most of the Sesame Street gang alone in my dining room with the silverware. I actually enjoyed the Muppet Show, though it was more variety and guest stars than education/indoctrinaton. The message I got from Sesame Street is that it's OK to have friends in the hood and the barrios, and live there without any desire to do any better. Few incentives to move on to the civilized, educated, wealthier and, yes, cleaner parts of the country. That's a choice, and some intelligent men and women will make it. But it was almost the only choice the weird characters were pressing. I did sort of like the Count who taught them numbers while at the same time sucking their blood to keep the in "their place."

tryanmax said...

I have nothing to really go by, but I'm certain it's a fallacy that one must set a children's show in the slums in order to "relate" to the kids living there. Last I checked, there were no children living in pineapples under the sea yet kids seem to relate to that just fine. My kids' favorite show is Yo Gabba Gabba which is set in "Gabba Land." Draw your own conclusions.

LawHawkRFD said...

tyranmax: I always had the feeling that the point of the slum in Sesame Street was to give it validity that fantasy locations could never accomplish. It's learning to accept your lot in life rather than rise above it. I thought that about Sesame Street even when I was a young radical. We worked in the 60s to teach people there was a better life, and they could have it if they only worked hard for it. Sesame Street was not supposed to be a special section in Better Homes and Gardens.

Post a Comment

Post a Comment