Sunday, August 30, 2009

The Meaning of Life

Over the past year, Commentarama’s Philosophical Thought Unit has queried various experts regarding the meaning of life. Today, we reveal our findings. . .

But first, we need to talk about your Commentarama Membership. Commentarama is free to the public, because we are part of the Public Blogging Service (PBS). And that means we rely on you for support.

It’s not cheap to keep providing you with the kinds of free, high quality programming that Commentarama provides every single day: like our expose on South-Western North Dakota Jazz, or our fifteen part series on why blog series become boring, or our award winning docu-drama “All Sharks Go To Heaven.”

People, we don’t like interrupting these blog entries, nobody likes interrupting blog entries. But unlike commercial blogs, we can’t accept commercial sponsors. That’s right. That’s why we can’t take money from people like the Happy Bunny Munitions Company, maker of the world’s first anti-personnel exfoliator. If it says Happy Bunny, you know it’s quality with extreme prejudice.

So here’s what we need. We need five people to hit that “follow” button during this break, and we can’t go back to solving the meaning of life until you do. Come on, everyone hit the follow button. We have volunteers standing by right now, ready to process your button push.

If you act in the next five minutes, we might send you one of our PBS Commentarama Totes. It’s made from high quality hemp, by the children of hippies who live on a commune in Oregon. It’s perfect for carrying an organic potato or a bio-degradable bamboo cup of soy milk.

And for those of you pledging at the two minute level, we have an old Yawny CD, signed by Michael Bolton’s chauffeur. Who doesn’t love Yawny?

Come on people, our board shows that no one has clicked follow yet. Is it really so much to ask for all this high quality programming that you just can’t find on commercial blogs?

Hit the button. . . come on, just hit the button.

Ok, fine. . . that’s it. If five people don’t hit the follow button in the next five minutes, I’m going to get very upset. I might just start a letter writing campaign or organize a boycott. You’ve been warned. . .

Oh, and the meaning of life? People aren’t wearing enough hats.


20 comments:

MegaTroll said...

Hilarious! I'd love to sign up again, but the machine won't let me. Can I still get a hippie tote?

Thank God you all don't save your best stuff for pledge week!

StanH said...

I think you want us to hit the “follow” button, …LOL! For those lurking, who haven’t hit the follow button, the Commentarama invisible tee shirts are real head turners, and you can also complete your ensemble with the invisible shorts, and now with the hemp tote bag, …whoa!

BevfromNYC said...

YEY! The PBS - COMMENTARAMA PLEDGE /SLASH/ MEMBERSHIP DRIVE!!

With every new membership, you will receive (while supplies last) -
*Your choice of our much prized invisible I AM A COMMENTARAMA-IAN or I COMMENT(ARAMA) THEREFORE I AM t-shirts

*the Annotated Complete Collected Pro-Zionist writings of Noam Chomsky (when available/long wait)

* Your choice of a Van Jones-inspired dual purpose "Smoke It If You Want To" hemp tote bag OR a S.T.O.R.M. umbrella (while supplies last)

All yours for a small price - Press "FOLLOW" and BE A FOLLOWER TODAY!

We interrupt our regularly scheduled programming to hold our breath until we get 5 new followers. Ready...set..........

AndrewPrice said...

Bev, LOL!! Nice tie in with Lawhawk's article from yesterday!

And I LOVE: "I COMMENT(ARAMA) THEREFORE I AM"!!

That should be our new slogan!

AndrewPrice said...

Mega, Sorry, the PBS requires that we only give the hippie totes to new members. . . who live in states where those totes are legal. :-(

AndrewPrice said...

Uhm. . . Stan, I don't recall us sending invisible shorts?! 8-O

But now that you mention it, I'm sure those would be head turners too wouldn't they? Hmmm... good idea!

StanH said...

Yeah Lawhawk had an earlier give away?

AndrewPrice said...

Stan, no, Lawhawk doesn't give anything away. . . he's a lawyer. I was referencing the reference to Van Jones -- another high quality article from Commentarama. :-)

StanH said...

You know you’re right Andrew! Lawhawk gives nothing away, he is after all the Boss of the SF Beer and Wheelbarrow Syndicate aka. “The Attorney, The Money Grubber, The Kingfish!” Hey! No wonder my wife insists on going to different places for dinner when I’m wearing my Commentarama Ensemble, Lawhawk you sly dog…

AndrewPrice said...

I forgot about the Beer and Wheelbarrow syndicate. I will have to find a way to get a share of the proceeds!

Anonymous said...

StanH: I see my loyal friends remember who the Left Coast Czar is! Don't forget, I also have a chokehold on the bread supply (except at Whole Foods).

Andrew: Did you actually suggest I "share" the proceeds? I knew you were a secret STORM member!

HamiltonsGhost said...

Andrew: I signed up the last drive, and I love my invisible Commentarama Tee-Shirt. If I change my name to JeffersonsGhost can I get in on the Yawny CD?

Anonymous said...

Bev: "*the Annotated Complete Collected Pro-Zionist writings of Noam Chomsky (when available/long wait)." I love it! And as an added bonus, we could throw in "Free Market Programs I Have Proposed While In Office" by Barack Obama (foreword by Eric Holder).

Andrew: Considering the meaning of life, shouldn't we offer an invisible Commentarama hat?

BevfromNYC said...

Law - Fabulous! We can add your book title to the Commentarama "Books That Will Never Be Written" Series for future Pledge /Slash/ Membership drives!

Andrew - Law is on to something with the invisible hat idea! What's really great is that they can come with a "no hat hair" guarantee!

AndrewPrice said...

Bev, I've got no problem with invisible hats. They're easy to clean and easy to store, and always fashionable.

Writer X said...

Please tell me you still have a few extra Yawny CDs left. I used my old one as a coaster.

AndrewPrice said...

Writer X, We do indeed have Yawny CDs -- we use them as coasters too, that or to keep tables from shaking.

AndrewPrice said...

I see that we have our first new member of the day! Thanks Cheryl! This will make the kids on the commune so happy. :-)

Tennessee Jed said...

Ah the meaning of life, eh. I can assure you it is wafer thin monsieur.

AndrewPrice said...

You know it Jed! Great movie!

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