Saturday, November 21, 2009

The Weekly Bidenism

When last we left our moronic number two, he was breaking laws and lying about his past. But Slow Joe doesn’t limit his historical revisions to himself. No, indeed. He’s happy to revise world history too, as you are about to learn. Get ready for. . . The Weekly Bidenism.

On October 2, 2008, Slow Joe was in the middle of the vice presidential debate at Washington University, in St. Louis, Missouri, when he suddenly whipped out this little doozy:

“When we kicked -- along with France, we kicked Hezbollah out of Lebanon, I said and Barack said, ‘Move NATO forces in there. Fill the vacuum, because if you don’t know -- if you don’t, Hezbollah will control it.”
Oh Joe. Alternate universes not withstanding, Hezbollah has never been kicked out of Lebanon. Hezbollah was formed in 1982 (Joe’s tenth year in the Senate representing the good banks of Delaware) and they’ve run Lebanon ever since. It’s possible Joe meant Syria, though he was clearly talking at length about Hezbollah at the time. And, of course, if he did mean Syria, he still would be wrong. Sure, Syria did pull their troops out of Lebanon, but it had nothing to do with the United States or France. . . it was the result of an uprising by the Lebanese people.

And the idea that Joe and Barack suggested sending NATO troops seems to be made up entirely. Not only did the incident not happen, but there’s no record of any comments even remotely similar to what Joe suggests. But then, maybe Joe was talking about the future rather than the past? That’s about the only explanation that make sense. . . that or Joe’s just a liar or a fool.

But I guess it’s unfair to expect anyone to know the history of such a complicated place like the Middle East, even a supposed foreign policy expert like Joe. After all, it’s not like he butchered U.S. history right? Like the time he said:
“When the stock market crashed, Franklin Roosevelt got on the television and didn’t just talk about the princes of greed. He said, ‘Look, here’s what happened.’”
True Joe, very true. . . though, I’d like to make two corrections. First, Roosevelt wasn’t President in 1929, Hoover was. And secondly, televisions were still experimental in 1929, so it’s unlikely that Hoover would have attempted a television broadcast of any sort.

Interestingly, when Slow whipped this one out during a September 22, 2008 interview, Katie “the Brain” Couric, a television news personality, didn’t seem to know that either fact was wrong.

The lesson here is that if you find yourself sitting next to Joe or Katie while taking a standardized test, don’t cheat off of either. Just guess, you’ll do better.


Joel Farnham said...


That last one about FDR still gets me every time. :-)

I was astonished to find that same reference in Sarah Palin's book. A fun read.

Unknown said...

Andrew: Have we ever had such a great target for pure ridicule (it can't be parody because he's already self-parody)? Wishful thinking on Lebanon and delusional thinking on FDR, and all in two simple paragraphs.

In the movie "My Fellow Americans" James Garner plays an ex-president who was liberal, and Jack Lemmon plays an ex-president who was conservative. They end up forming an alliance against the current president whom they suspect of having ordered operatives to commit murder and possible treason (played by Dan Aykroyd). Aykroyd's vice president is a complete moron (clearly a leftist stab at Dan Quayle). At one point, the president has to remind the V.P.'s handlers that he's meeting with the Prime Minister of the Netherlands, not the Nether Regions. But in the end, it turns out the V.P. was the actual malfeasor. Could it be Biden has really been pretending to be stupid for thirty years just to grab the presidency in a coup? Inquiring minds want to know. LOL

patti said...

as we say in deep south texas when rendered almost speechless: eeho.

and, please pass the hooch. today is making my head hurt.

Unknown said...

Patti: I'm afraid all our heads are going to hurt a lot more before this is over. I'm hoarding the hooch. LOL

Joel Farnham said...


I never expected you to be a hooch hoarder!!! :-(

Unknown said...

Joel: Desperate times call for desperate measures.

patti said...

law: so this is what we've come to?! hording hooch amongst ourselves?!

Writer X said...

When does Joe tell us he's from the future? That's got to be next. Even he would believe it.

Joel Farnham said...


I thought Biden was from Uranus.



Didn't your mom teach you about sharing?


StanH said...

Biden is breathlessly brainless, when he shows up on TV, I just point and laugh, it’ll make you feel better, same for Barry. Turn down the volume and give’em the Mystery Science Theater treatment, it’s a good family fun.

Hey everyone, don’t get in to deep a funk, if I’m reading everyone’s posts correctly. The deathcare bill will be a good thing in the long run. Our enemy is now fully exposed, and the tar-n-feathers are at the ready. I have never seen this country so charged up in my life. Starting in 2010, 12, 14, 16… we have an opportunity to lance this boil (Washington) once and for all. If in ’94 when we put the Republicans in, and they had stayed true to their supposed conservative ideals, we wouldn’t be having this conversation. We all knew, the night Obozo was elected what was coming. So chin up everyone, and pass the hooch. We have only just begun to fight!

AndrewPrice said...

Howdy everybody. I'm half way through my second cross country trip in a month. Ug. Should be home tomorrow night -- got a good article planned.

It's nice to see that when push comes to shove, our leaders will do their best to destroy the country. 2010 here we come!

P.S. Lawhawk, I can't image that Biden is the brains behind anything. . . even Biden.

AndrewPrice said...

P.S.S. Don't panic on the health care thing, it exposed the dems and they are still a long way from passage -- they didn't solve any of the problems they have and they still need to vote to close the debate. Right now Lieberman and Snowe are holding firm on that.

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