Thursday, December 15, 2011

T-Rav's Sockpuppet Theater Presents: Children of the Corn 2!

Because the last one worked so well, they're doing it again tonight! Live from Iowa, it's Children of the Corn 2: Pandering Boogaloo! Join us, tonight on Fox at 9:00 PM EST, casual dress, overalls preferred, B.Y.O.B. Farm subsidies for the first twenty people through the door!


Come one, come all....
... will Newt insult us all?
... will Romney say something memorable?
... will Ron Paul praise our new Iranian overlords?
... will Rick Perry shake the Teletubby?
... will anyone finally realize Santorum offers us utopia?
... will Bachmann don black-face to attract Cain's supporters?
... will Huntsman finally become a 2%er?

All this and more, tonight! Leave your thoughts below.

534 comments:

«Oldest   ‹Older   201 – 400 of 534   Newer›   Newest»
rlaWTX said...

that's the truth (austin american)

AndrewPrice said...

Perry is going off topic... danger, danger. Stupidity alert.

tryanmax said...

Oh, Perry. Don't accuse it of being a lie. Just explain it and tell us what you learned from it.

#dodge

AndrewPrice said...

Ok, I do like that.

rlaWTX said...

yay Texas!

T-Rav said...

Um, I don't think that's entirely accurate. But it all goes back to Texas, doesn't it?

AndrewPrice said...

Of course, 140 every two years means the President becomes the only power in Washington.

AndrewPrice said...

"An adult conversation with Beijing"?


... hello, what at you wearing?
... something sexy, you?
... overalls.

tryanmax said...

cue sexy music with funk bass

AndrewPrice said...

Down with the rest of the world.... I LOVE CHINA!!!!

A Paperweight said...

Whenever I look at Huntsman, I think of myself.

rlaWTX said...

(in Texas, the LT Gov has the extra power)

AndrewPrice said...

I support a tax holiday, but only for heterosexual couples.

rlaWTX said...

pander to Iowa

AndrewPrice said...

rlaWTX... that would be Biden.


AHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!

T-Rav said...

Rick, Rick, Rick...those manufacturing jobs are not coming back. I wish they were, but they're not. They're just not. Move on, dude.

tryanmax said...

Santorum: I know Iowa! Yipee!

AndrewPrice said...

I promise to repeal everything passed since 1952.

rlaWTX said...

@leonjames: the federal & state govts

T-Rav said...

By the way, you know what would be a good way to make manufacturing and business in general competitive? Eliminate the minimum wage. How's that for a radical solution?

The Great Carnak said...

In the next 10 years the most jobs will be made in Jello-wrestling-rink manufacture.

tryanmax said...

That's the right answer. Color me shocked.

rlaWTX said...

and you can't touch manufacturing without crushing Big Labor

Joe Biden said...

Hurh? Someone wants to give me lots of power? Hot dog!! Where do I sign my Isaac Newton on that bill?

AndrewPrice said...

Again, I like Romney tonight. This has been a solid performance. Well spoken, sounds good, generally conservative.

T-Rav said...

Okay, I think the judiciary needs to be reined in, but that's probably going a little too far.

AndrewPrice said...

Impeaching judges is a non-starter.

It's also unconstitutional.... but that doesn't matter to Newt.

tryanmax said...

Hey, Newt never had an idea he didn't like!

rlaWTX said...

they aren't supposed to read the American people - they should read the American Constitution

Newt said...

I taught a short course on the short bus.

tryanmax said...

I've been working on this project along with space mirrors in between rests on Pelosi's couch.

T-Rav said...

It should be noted, though, that the judicial branch was intended by the Founders to be the weakest branch of government, not the strongest.

rlaWTX said...

FDR!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AndrewPrice said...

rlaWTX, BINGO! Newt doesn't know that.

tryanmax said...

Stupid founders, writing the Constitution in ink. Why couldn't they have used a pencil?

Franklin D. Roosevelt said...

Hey Newt, I thought you learned it was a bad idea to cite me in your arguments?

rlaWTX said...

didn't Lincoln try to stuff the SCOTUS too????

AndrewPrice said...

Newt does not believe in rule of law because he is advocating changing the judges when he doesn't like the law rather than changing the law.

rlaWTX said...

good question!

tryanmax said...

Shelly, just say no.

T-Rav said...

And there's the flaw in Gingrich's plan, which otherwise has some merit.

rlaWTX said...

the 9th Circuit is bonkers. I will grant that...

AndrewPrice said...

If the courts get it wrong, the Congress passes laws to change the decision -- you don't impeach judges.

rlaWTX said...

yay Iowa

Michele Bachmann said...

Pander Time!!!

AndrewPrice said...

Iowa is so perfect, I will move the White House here!

AndrewPrice said...

Enter Ron Paul who actually understand the constitution.

tryanmax said...

Yay, Shelly! She's actually starting to sound like she used to, instead of that weird technocrat that was showing up to all those other debates.

Fisherman Paul said...

wiggly worms

AndrewPrice said...

Paul is right on this. Newt is a monster.

T-Rav said...

Actually, I do applaud Iowans for doing that. That was a bullcrap move by the judges.

rlaWTX said...

oooooh! good Q

AndrewPrice said...

Good question.

tryanmax said...

Yes. Newt's Own(R) Can-O-Worms.

AndrewPrice said...

Ok, that's actually probably a legitimate explanation.

Mitt Romney said...

My greatest talent has always been hair-splitting.

rlaWTX said...

I agree with you, Andrew, Romney is sounding good tonight...

tryanmax said...

Gotta side with T-Rav on the Iowa thing. There was a lot of griping on the local radio shows even on this side of the river.

AndrewPrice said...

Again, Romney is actually correct on this.


No, I'm not being paid to say that.

AndrewPrice said...

Favorite Justice... Thomas. 100%

rlaWTX said...

what question?

T-Rav said...

Just say a name, Rick! Like Clarence Thomas! Stop talking!

rlaWTX said...

which Rick?

Megyn Kelly said...

I just want a name! Any name!

tryanmax said...

If I believed this were the real Romney, I'd have no qualms voting for him after tonight. (So far...)

AndrewPrice said...

All four are good, but I stick with Thomas.

tryanmax said...

Ron Paul: #dodge

T-Rav said...

rla, well I was originally referring to Santorum, but apparently all Ricks on stage are unable to respond.

AndrewPrice said...

"let's face it."


stop saying that Jon

tryanmax said...

Let's face it, Huntsman needs to go.

And I need to go get more cereal.

Al Gore said...

Did someone say "cereal"? You speaketh my language!

AndrewPrice said...

I should probably write about Newt's judge thing. He's wrong on this. He shows ZERO constitutional restraint. Moreover, he's jumping way beyond what he needs to do to solve the problem an that shows a serious problem in his thinking.

AndrewPrice said...

National popular vote sucks... don't be fooled.

T-Rav said...

Really? REALLY?! @#$% you, National Popular Vote!

tryanmax said...

Who said national popular vote? Was that Newt. I probably didn't hear it over my choking about his other answers.

AndrewPrice said...

yeah, what T-Rav said.

T-Rav said...

They make some freaky books/movies in Sweden, I've learned. Just gonna throw that out there.

AndrewPrice said...

tryanmax, It was a stupid ad.

rlaWTX said...

I tried reading that book...

AndrewPrice said...

Now the swimsuit/overall competition.

rlaWTX said...

is something off with Perry's neck?

tryanmax said...

Where'd my comment go? Strange.

T-Rav said...

Andrew, since he brought up FDR as someone who "got it right," let's not forget that he was the President who attempted to pack the Supreme Court with liberal judges so he could keep the New Deal. Just saying.

Ron Paul said...

I welcome our new Iranian overlords.

T-Rav said...

rla, I got to one of the--um--sex scenes, and had to stop reading. Ugh.

rlaWTX said...

did Paul actually reference the UN as proof????

AndrewPrice said...

rlaWTX -- you mean like a pod person neck?

rlaWTX said...

T-Rav, I didn't get that far...

rlaWTX said...

yes, Andrew!

AndrewPrice said...

Wait a minute... sex scene? What book?

Ron Paul, October 1938 said...

Adventures by Britain and France against the sovereign Reich are a trampling of European liberties, especially when Hitler has made it very clear the Sudetenland is his last territorial goal.

AndrewPrice said...

Hitler was surrounded too.

tryanmax said...

Okay, sorry, something happened to my last couple of posts.

T-Rav said...

"Girl With The Dragon Tattoo." I guess you didn't see the commercial. It's, uh, graphic. I'm just going to leave it at that.

AndrewPrice said...

let me repeat... what book?

rlaWTX said...

Bret keeps trying to help Paul make sense... it's not working...

AndrewPrice said...

Ah... I see. Thanks. I thought it was something in Perry's book.

Imagine... my... surprise...

T-Rav said...

Okay. Please, please, shut up. You're an idiot and should be allowed nowhere near the White House. Shut up.

rlaWTX said...

graphic generally isn't a problem for me - but it wasn't making sense.

rlaWTX said...

(like Paul)

tryanmax said...

So the bleep is not the Daily Double?

AndrewPrice said...

This Iran question has come up in every single debate. I'm frankly sick of it.

rlaWTX said...

uhoh, Santorum is making sense... it makes my head hurt...

T-Rav said...

Oh, Lord. After hearing Ron Paul speak, Santorum suddenly sounds like a voice of clarity in my head. What's happening to me?

rlaWTX said...

($10,000 wager on Iran, Alex)

1980s commercial said...

"Don't hate me because I'm beautiful...."

tryanmax said...

Andrew, if we ask it enough time, maybe we'll get the right answer.

T-Rav said...

tryanmax, I don't think so. However, I could have sworn I saw Alex Trebek in the audience.

AndrewPrice said...

rlaWTX, LOL! :)

rlaWTX said...

did he ask nicely - and bow?

AndrewPrice said...

Now I KNOW there's no sex scene in Romney's book.

AndrewPrice said...

Again, Romney = solid tonight.

Barack Obama said...

I said "Pretty please." What more did you want me to do?

tryanmax said...

Obama should have said, "Pleeeeeease. I'll be your best frieeeeeend."

AndrewPrice said...

Where did my world go wrong?

T-Rav said...

Andrew, are you SURE about that? ;-)

tryanmax said...

Anybody read Cain's book? Just askin'.

rlaWTX said...

you are wrong, T-Rav!

rlaWTX said...

(oops, nevermind, my mind was in the gutter, not T-Rav's)

Iranian Green Revolution Protestors said...

We weren't too crazy about his "leadership," either, ma'am.

M. Bachmann said...

With all due respect to Mr. Paul... you suck.

rlaWTX said...

bleep

bleep

bleeeeeeeeeeeep

AndrewPrice said...

T-Rav, Yeah, I'm sure.

T-Rav said...

My mind is never in the gutter, and I resent the implication!

tryanmax said...

That is definitely something that deserves to be brought up more often.

rlaWTX said...

wtf, Paul?

AndrewPrice said...

Where is the bouncer?

T-Rav said...

Hmmm. I hadn't expected you would cite the CIA as a valid source, Congressman.

rlaWTX said...

don't let them cheer him!

tryanmax said...

Oh, Ron, go stick a daisy in the barrel of a gun.

Ron Paul! said...

Don't put me back in my straitjacket! Please!!

AndrewPrice said...

Take it outside kids.

rlaWTX said...

UN??? how can Paul say that the UN is a good source??

T-Rav said...

So, it's all a huge conspiracy? They're making things up now? Please.

tryanmax said...

Wait, is there no UN report? Or is the UN report falsified? Which is it?

rlaWTX said...

bleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep

AndrewPrice said...

I hate you both.

AndrewPrice said...

We don't really rely on the UN now.

T-Rav said...

So as we snap back to reality...

AndrewPrice said...

Citing Bachmann as a source is even worse than citing the UN.

rlaWTX said...

that snap hurt.

rlaWTX said...

WHAT?

tryanmax said...

Huntsman: let's submit to China and then let them handle Iran.

AndrewPrice said...

Wow, I agree with Huntsman for once.

Jon Huntsman said...

Out as best friend: Israel
In as best friend: China!

tryanmax said...

a thousand points of light!

tryanmax said...

He's been double-dinged!

AndrewPrice said...

rlaWTX, It looks like his neck grew. It's 5-6 inches longer than it used to be.

T-Rav said...

What's the difference between an "overfly zone" and a "no-fly-zone"? Discuss!

AndrewPrice said...

No fly zone over Syria = bad idea.

rlaWTX said...

is his head too small?

tryanmax said...

Oh, no fly zone. I was scared for a minute. I though they were talking about a no pie zone. Whew.

AndrewPrice said...

rlaWTX, Maybe it shrank?

Newt Gingrich said...

Which I just realized is what I should have been doing for the past twenty years.

AndrewPrice said...

Newt sometimes gets accused of language that is too egomaniacal.

rlaWTX said...

Newt can toss out the one-liners... isn't that a Constitutional requirement for the presidency?

T-Rav said...

tryanmax, if anyone tries to declare a "no-pie-zone," there will be trouble.

AndrewPrice said...

Yeah, Newt you just sounded like you said something! Wooo hoo!

rlaWTX said...

(re: Perry - I know who he reminds me of - that alien who got his head shot off in MIB)

T-Rav said...

Okay, in all honesty, Newt put a bullseye on that issue, even though it wasn't really answering the question.

t said...

How dare that kittycat picture compare me to Rick Perry!

tryanmax said...

Oh, here it is. Article II, Section 5.

The President shall be quick with clever one-liners provided they not be too zany.

AndrewPrice said...

rlaWTX, LOL!

News Flash said...

Huntsman hate heroine addiction!

T-Rav said...

Okay, that latest sockpuppet should have read "Tony Shalhoub," not "t." Typing FAIL.

AndrewPrice said...

tryanmax, I knew that was in there somewhere,next to the "ice cream for all" clause.

rlaWTX said...

thanks, tryanmax - I knew it was in there!

Tony - only when your head was growing back!

tryanmax said...

I thought the ice cream was in the Bill of Rights.

AndrewPrice said...

This question makes no sense to me. If everything goes wrong, how long would you stop the world to figure out what had happened?

Huh?

T-Rav said...

This is what the candidates should be doing all along--emphasizing why Barack Obama sucks.

AndrewPrice said...

Keystone Beer was ok.

rlaWTX said...

good point, Shelly, pounce on TOTUS instead of GOPs!

tryanmax said...

Whoa! I think the debate just started.

T-Rav said...

It's in the "Dessert Clause" of the Constitution.

tryanmax said...

Yeah, but Keystone XL comes in a bigger can.

AndrewPrice said...

rlaWTX, His head kind of bobbles around on his neck too, like it's loose. Maybe he's a robot or something?

Tenth Amendment said...

But I don't like you.

AndrewPrice said...

Wait a minute... so the Feds shouldn't pick winners and losers, but Iowan's should?

Mangled Birds said...

Which worked out well for us.

rlaWTX said...

if bobble-head dolls had little heads instead of big ones, he'd qualify...

T-Rav said...

Andrew, Iowans are SPECIAL!! When will you learn?!

IOWA said...

Pander me banana. Pander my banana. Pander my banana. Pander my banana. Pander my banana. Pander my banana. Pander my banana. Pander my banana. Pander my banana. Pander my banana. Pander my banana. Pander my banana. Pander my banana. Pander my banana. Pander my banana.

rlaWTX said...

wind energy ~ hot air -- the same thing? if so, then yeah, we got lots in TX.

tryanmax said...

Enough with the windmills. You know where they've got lots of windmills? South Dakota. But they're not doing anything because there is nowhere to send the power.

Windmills only work when they are close to something. Until all the Californians and NorthEasterners stop crying "NIMBY" windmills will be worthless.

AndrewPrice said...

A bobble head! LOL!

rlaWTX said...

OK, I'll give him +1 for saying state tax policy is different that fed tax policy.

T-Rav said...

Commercial poll: Miller or Keystone Lite?

AndrewPrice said...

I'm for slave powered generators in California.

AndrewPrice said...

Miller.

tryanmax said...

Let's just say that Iowans are so special, they had to be separated from their neighbors by rivers on both sides.

T-Rav said...

IOWA, um...I'm afraid to ask what that means.

rlaWTX said...

we have miles of windmills - looks like an alien invasion marching across the plains - but they are out in the middle of windy WTX, not electricity using NYC or NTX or hot air capital Austin.

tryanmax said...

I'm a Coors drinker, myself.

Iowa said...

All alcohol is of the devil.

AndrewPrice said...

IOWA = Idiots Out Wandering Around

AndrewPrice said...

Dear Iowa, beer is made from corn in the US.

rlaWTX said...

is this a serious question??????

Perry said...

Eric Holder can bite my ass.

Megyn Kelly said...

"Clear proof," as in, "We didn't see the gun actually smoking as he held it in his hand."

Perry said...

Look, don't live in Texas, it ain't safe!

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