Thursday, December 15, 2011

T-Rav's Sockpuppet Theater Presents: Children of the Corn 2!

Because the last one worked so well, they're doing it again tonight! Live from Iowa, it's Children of the Corn 2: Pandering Boogaloo! Join us, tonight on Fox at 9:00 PM EST, casual dress, overalls preferred, B.Y.O.B. Farm subsidies for the first twenty people through the door!


Come one, come all....
... will Newt insult us all?
... will Romney say something memorable?
... will Ron Paul praise our new Iranian overlords?
... will Rick Perry shake the Teletubby?
... will anyone finally realize Santorum offers us utopia?
... will Bachmann don black-face to attract Cain's supporters?
... will Huntsman finally become a 2%er?

All this and more, tonight! Leave your thoughts below.

536 comments:

1 – 200 of 536   Newer›   Newest»
AndrewPrice said...

I'll post the feed once we have it.

CrispyRice said...

I've really lost track of the debates. Too many! Ack.

Enjoy the evening, though!

tryanmax said...

Tonight's debate is brought to you by Total® Hypocrisy.* Because seven GOP presidential candidates still don't contain all the cereal hypocrisy in one bowl of Total®!

* Now with Crunchy Denial Clusters™!

TOTUS said...

Stop cutting in on my Obama O's.

POTUS said...

Stop--uhh--cutting in.

On my...Obama O's.

DUQ said...

Is that bologna sandwich Romney is turning into?

Individualist said...

IS it true that if Standard and Poor's downgrades our debt Souza'a Washington Inauguarial March for the POTUS will be replaced with NApaleon XIV's "There coming to take me away, Ha Ha!"

Just asking

Tennessee Jed said...

as has always been the case, I'm not set up to see the debate and post, but know you guys will have a good time with it. Hope they actually can work on Barry tonight instead of each other. Alas, that is the nature of these things.

AndrewPrice said...

DUQ, Yes indeed... bologna on white bread.

Crispy, I've lost track too.

TOTUS/POTUS, I'll pass.


Indi, I've heard that's true. They've also got a lien on several monuments and apparently, they've ordered packing crates. :(

tryanmax, Yum... Crunchy Denial Clusters!

AndrewPrice said...

Jed, Sadly, I suspect more of the same tonight. But who knows? I guess someone might surprise us?

LawHawkRFD said...

T-Rav: I'll be AWOL again this evening. It's the Christmas get-together at the grandkids' school. But reading the comments from our readers is a lot more fun than watching the debates anyway. LOL

AndrewPrice said...

Here's a fascinating off-topic link. If you recall my article last week about the left becoming antiSemitic, here's official MSM verification, in which they note the Simon Weisenthal Center agrees:

Time To Clean Up The Discourse

Here's my original article on the topic: LINK

T-Rav said...

B.Y.O.B., for the record, in this case stands for "Bring Your Own Barn."

Andrew, should I find it disturbing that you now only have normal pictures of Bachmann and Huntsman?

AndrewPrice said...

T-Rav, That should probably read "B.Y.O.C." with the "C" meaning "candidate."

As for finding the images disturbing.... yeah, probably.

Individualist said...

T-Rav and Andrew

What's abnormal about the picture og Gaius Newtus Gingritchinas?

Looks spot on to me

T-Rav said...

Incidentally, my answers to the questions posed are yes, no, yes, no, family, win-win-win, and probably not. You figure it out.

T-Rav said...

Indi: Well played, sir. Well played.

Individualist said...

Off topic but Before I miss is it

http://books.google.com/books?id=4ocVAAAAYAAJ&pg=PA34&lpg=PA34&dq=individualists+corner+poetry&source=bl&ots=NkCpAZdQoC&sig=ttkWHMhY9a99wjugQowokE76KCM&hl=en&sa=X&ei=L5LqTpC8JMmXtwfo9ZHkCg&sqi=2&ved=0CFwQ6AEwBw#v=onepage&q&f=false

Page 34 of this link Good Screed

T-Rav said...

I was just watching "Miracle on 34th Street," and it occurred to me I'd much rather have this on the TV than stupid candidate people. Thanks, GOP losers. (sigh)

AndrewPrice said...

T-Rav, I'm missing a football game for this. Grrr.


Indi, Here's your link: LINK

T-Rav said...

Well, I just read that Current TV (you know, the Al Gore network) is going to have a one-hour post-debate show. Obviously, Gore wants this to be a professional, impartial examination of the debate, so who is hosting it? Failed MSNBC hack Cenk Uygur and failed Democratic governor of Michigan Jennifer Granholm, of course. I'm going to go grab something to eat, and also die laughing.

rlaWTX said...

since the semester is over I can actually give the debate a go... we'll see if it can hold my attention enough to keep me from surfing back to the Hallmark movie or CSI:NY reruns...

T-Rav said...

Yay rla! Screw those professors! ;-)

BevfromNYC said...

I'm still at work, so I am not sure whether I'll be able to stomac...er...join in tonight. I will try.

rlaWTX said...

T-Rav - yours done?

Barack Obama said...

Personally, I think this is going to be a great debate, guys. But then, I thought the last debate was great too!

T-Rav said...

rla, I am indeed finished for the semester. I wrote two big papers, only one of which I understood, and then graded about 50 exams in one weekend, most of which had very stupid things to say. So it's been a standard end-of-semester experience.

T-Rav said...

Hey, I've been to Sioux City! Or maybe that was Sioux Falls, which is in South Dakota. They're kind of interchangeable, really.

AndrewPrice said...

No, don't cheer these people, you are only encouraging them.

AndrewPrice said...

Where's Santorum?

Jon Huntsman said...

That applause for me sounded so non-perfunctory! I'm pleasantly surprised!

AndrewPrice said...

Their sounds stinks again -- just like last time.

President Obama said...

I am the greatest threat to America.

Bret Baier said...

...With all that said, Newt Gingrich, do you regret your divorces and affairs?

AndrewPrice said...

Most electable?

d) None of the above.

Newt said...

I AM GOD!

T-Rav said...

Why do I feel like Newt was pandering to social conservatives just then? And what does that say about me?

rlaWTX said...

Newt: I can say Reagan. So i win...

tryanmax said...

Checking in! I had to pour me a bowl of Crunch Berries.

rlaWTX said...

it says you're paying attention

Democrats said...

Newt is threatening to cut off the President's legs!!! THREATENING TONE!!!!

tryanmax said...

Also, I have lost one "shift" key, which is really throwing me.

rlaWTX said...

bing!

Laughable said...

I don't know you sir.

T-Rav said...

rla, but did you show him how to defeat Communism like Newt did? DID YOU???

rlaWTX said...

nope - also didn't convince him to believe in Reaganomics

Ron Paul! said...

Those are evil establishment Republican neocons! GOLD!!!

tryanmax said...

Puff question to Paul.

AndrewPrice said...

Nice comment by Paul!

tryanmax said...

Puff answer from Paul.

AndrewPrice said...

This is where Paul is good.

Mahmoud Ahmedinejad said...

I say, I rather like this Paul fellow's foreign policy.

AndrewPrice said...

Sir, is that corn in your pocket?!

rlaWTX said...

sir, why are you irrelevant?

tryanmax said...

Yes, this is good. I just meant the "anyone can beat Obama" bit.

News Flash said...

Santorum is firebug!

tryanmax said...

Santorum: My plan was to suck all along.

T-Rav said...

I bet he also visited every county in Pennsylvania in 2006, which worked well for him.

AndrewPrice said...

cough cough.... bullship.... cough cough

rlaWTX said...

he stands right there - see him??

Beaker said...

Iowans are beginning to respond. I've gone from 0% to 0.1%

T-Rav said...

Andrew, I suspect the candidates will all yank off their suits sometime during the debate to reveal they are wearing overalls and straw hats.

tryanmax said...

Romeney: Let me just not answer that question for you.

AndrewPrice said...

lips moving...

words hitting ears....

brain no translate....

rlaWTX said...

tryanmax - good sum up!

T-Rav said...

Wow, this is the most conservative message I've heard yet from Romney.

tryanmax said...

These totally look like game show podiums.

AndrewPrice said...

T-Rav, That would liven thing up!


To borrow from Strictly Ballroom:


"Show me your square dance..."

T-Rav said...

By which I mean, he included the line about the private sector creating jobs, not the government. That's about it. (Don't want people thinking I've gone off my meds--again...)

tryanmax said...

Correct answer should be "there's no such thing as too conservative."

Let's see what she says...

AndrewPrice said...

Bachmann is an action person?

Show me 1 bill she got passed.

T-Rav said...

Andrew, you jest, but if any of them can prove they know the words to "Cotton-Eye Joe," I will be compelled to vote for them.

tryanmax said...

She's been a "real person" ... unlike that male mannequin.

rlaWTX said...

Lord, help us - keep your foot out of your mouth, Gov!

AndrewPrice said...

Obama is an accomplished debater like I am an accomplished brain surgeon.

tryanmax said...

Andrew, didn't you find that Bachmann action figure in your box of cereal hypocrisy?

T-Rav said...

No, no, Rick, talking a lot is what got you here in the first place. It's called "learning from your mistakes."

AndrewPrice said...

F-you on the Tebow mention jerk.

rlaWTX said...

he just brought in Tebow!

tryanmax said...

Are we talking politics or football?

Neil said...

Governor Hunstman.... why are you here?

George W. Bush said...

Anyone else find that hard to understand?

rlaWTX said...

so, he's only good in the 4th Q?

tryanmax said...

Huntsman is looking especially Bond-villain-esque tonight.

tryanmax said...

Just sayin'.

rlaWTX said...

GWB - he didn't say anything, so it's OK.

Huntsman said...

And I'm not going to be conservative.

tryanmax said...

Things just got trivial.

AndrewPrice said...

Can Mormons say screwed?

Jon Huntsman said...

I'm gonna prove I'm the true conservative. How? I'm gonna snub all the grassroots conservatives with their silly pledges and so on.

AndrewPrice said...

rlaWTX, Yep, he would only be good in his fourth year.

rlaWTX said...

as long as they aren't drinking or smoking while they say it.

tryanmax said...

Huntsman is the 99%. Oops. Wrong crowd.

T-Rav said...

rla, interestingly, Perry tends to start well and then bomb. So maybe he's the anti-Tebow?

AndrewPrice said...

If a train leave Chicago at 2:00 pm....

rlaWTX said...

good point, T-Rav

rlaWTX said...

that wasn't the question, Perry!

tryanmax said...

Can't argue with that.

AndrewPrice said...

After 12 debates, you would think Perry would have learned to speak publicly.

Teletubbies said...

Perry's cute!

rlaWTX said...

Romney kinda has a good answer

tryanmax said...

I missed the beginning. I assume the bleeps are the timer?

T-Rav said...

Am I stoned, or are we more than 15 minutes in and no personal slapdowns on stage so far? Is this how debates are supposed to go?

Romney said...

I LOVE to compromise. Vote me a Democratic Congress and I'm gold baby!

rlaWTX said...

bleep - yep

AndrewPrice said...

The Constitution DOES work if you follow it Newt.

T-Rav said...

tryanmax, that's actually the countdown timer to the Mayan apocalypse. Prepare now!

tryanmax said...

Newt: Reagan. Reagan, Reagan. Reagan-Reagan-Reagan.


Reagan!

rlaWTX said...

Thanks, T-Rav! wondered...

AndrewPrice said...

Uh... no.

T-Rav said...

At once?

rlaWTX said...

can she "order" Congress?

tryanmax said...

Does Bachmann have any original ideas?

Bleepy Timer said...

Why aren't you guys paying attention to me? I feel ignored.

tryanmax said...

Obama can order congress, so why can't she?

AndrewPrice said...

I'm voting for Huntsman! Woo hoo!!

rlaWTX said...

bleep

AndrewPrice said...

Ouch, sorry, hit my head with a mallet before the last comment.

T-Rav said...

rla, there's this pesky "Constitution" thingamajig that won't let her. I thought she knew.

AndrewPrice said...

So far, the beeper is winning.

rlaWTX said...

I can't do another site and Commentarama!

tryanmax said...

#answer or #dodge. I kinda like it.

tryanmax said...

And who will get the Daily Double?

Bleep.

Diane Sawyer said...

Whash with thish Baier dude? He'sh talking in short words and being too dishtinct. Where'sh my martini?

rlaWTX said...

I figured since she was the expert she knew something I didn't... lol

AndrewPrice said...

I will say that Fox is being professional tonight and is getting answers. It's just that the answers are all kind of lame.

tryanmax said...

What was the last thing Paul said? I missed it.

rlaWTX said...

so, can we nominate the Fox panel?

AndrewPrice said...

tryanmax, to answer your question above, no, nothing original.

AndrewPrice said...

rlaWTX, I nominate the beeper.

tryanmax said...

I would prefer the Fox panel.

T-Rav said...

My only wonder is why they didn't go with the "Who Wants to be a Millionaire" theme music. It'd be much more dramatic that way.

tryanmax said...

First win-win-win. Now, no new taxes. I could bust!

AndrewPrice said...

T-Rav, It does feel like a game show again, doesn't it?

rlaWTX said...

the Final Jeopardy music! People always stops when it stops!!!

tryanmax said...

The music for this Shriner's commercial kinda sounds like the Jeopardy theme, though.

M. Bachmann said...

Mr. tryanmax, I went to Obama and I said, tear down this wall sir.

T-Rav, Channeling Charlie Sheen said...

Yeah, Fox is winning tonight. And our candidates are still losing.

AndrewPrice said...

have some corn...

tryanmax said...

Stop it, Shelly. You're killing me.

AndrewPrice said...

text Iowa to vote for tonights new Iowa Idol!

rlaWTX said...

Final debate??? oh just til Iowa...

Iowans said...

You will respect us! We're smart! We can do stuff!

tryanmax said...

I've totally become one of those people who addresses people by unapproved nicknames.

M. Bachmann said...

Mr. Obama looked at me and said we couldn't and I say, "yes we can, sir, yes we can."

T-Rav said...

Who cares what Democrats think? That's my question.

rlaWTX said...

sock-puppets rule!

T-Rav said...

tryanmax, okay I'll bite. Who's Shelly?

tryanmax said...

Shelly, do you do birthdays?

AndrewPrice said...

Romney gets points from me tonight for being a businessman and for attacking Obama.

Go big bologna!

tryanmax said...

Michelle Bachmann is Shelly.

Bawney Fwank said...

Hey, I wouldn't have a bad time in jail, if you know what I mean.

Newt said...

I luv me some technicalities!

AndrewPrice said...

Isn't habitat for humanity Jimmy Carter's charity?

T-Rav said...

Huh? What?

tryanmax said...

I will say, the attacks on Newt over Freddie and Fannie are stupid.

AndrewPrice said...

Gingrich just said he loves government all over the private sector.

rlaWTX said...

don't blame Habitat for Jimmy's insanity...

tryanmax said...

Especially when there is so much else to attack him for.

AndrewPrice said...

Paul is 100% right on this.

Democrats said...

Dear Ron Paul: Stop making intelligent points. It only misleads people.

AndrewPrice said...

More technicalities.


PANDER ALERT, PANDER ALERT, PANDER ALERT, PANDER ALERT, PANDER ALERT, PANDER ALERT, PANDER ALERT, PANDER ALERT, PANDER ALERT, PANDER ALERT, PANDER ALERT, PANDER ALERT, PANDER ALERT

tryanmax said...

Wow! He brought up Austrian economics. I never expected that to come up in a debate. Too bad most people don't have a clue about them.

AndrewPrice said...

No Newt this is bullshit socialism. Go f-yourself you government loving turd.

T-Rav said...

I agree, the attacks on Newt over Fannie and Freddie are stupid, but then he had to go and say what he just said...

rlaWTX said...

how are credit unions govt sponsored?

AndrewPrice said...

Go Bachmann!!!! She's finally right!

rlaWTX said...

I love the split screen!

tryanmax said...

T-Rav, absolutely.

His defense should be easy if he weren't a turd.

AndrewPrice said...

+10 for Bachmann.

-1000 for Gingrich

T-Rav said...

So let me sum up Newt Gingrich's campaign arc: the early debate performances reminded us that Newt can be brilliant and a great debater at times. The more recent performances reminded us that he is Newt Gingrich.

rlaWTX said...

can we move on from Freddie & Fannie?

AndrewPrice said...

You ARE LYING NEWT!!!

T-Rav said...

Maybe that's what the beepy button was. It was warning us that pandering lay ahead.

tryanmax said...

Wasn't there a political cartoon once of Newt as Jabba the Hutt? For some reason I have that image in my mind.

AndrewPrice said...

T-Rav, Newt is now showing us that he's in love with the worst parts of government.

rlaWTX said...

memememememe

AndrewPrice said...

I now hate Newt.

tryanmax said...

Andrew, indeed.

rlaWTX said...

yep.

T-Rav said...

Be very careful in how you tread here, Newt, lest I turn green and emit smoke from my ears.

rlaWTX said...

OH! sic'ing him with Paul Ryan!

tryanmax said...

I like the question, but could he have maybe shortened it?

tryanmax said...

Reagan Reagan Reagan.

AndrewPrice said...

Newt says "Reagan" more than Cain said "9-9-9".

T-Rav said...

Eh, I think Andrew's picture of him as a Roman emperor is much more flattering. At least I think it was a Roman emperor...

rlaWTX said...

oh yeah, he's a politician...

AndrewPrice said...

Romney is solid tonight.

tryanmax said...

Oh, puh-leeez! The Ryan Plan phases in across, what is it?, 30 years. That's hardly cutting anything out from anyone.

AndrewPrice said...

T-Rav, I have the perfect picture. I'll update it for next time.

Captain Crunch and Count Chocula said...

Come on guys, be honest. You all would rather see us debate than these jokers, right?

tryanmax said...

Again with the reach-around, er, reach across the aisle.

AndrewPrice said...

Huh?

T-Rav said...

No, it's actually a pretty straightforward question. Are you a hypocrite or not? (Hint: the answer is yes.)

AndrewPrice said...

I vote for the cereal debate.

rlaWTX said...

HUH?

AndrewPrice said...

I never voted for it, except I did.

tryanmax said...

Personally, I agree with what Paul says. However, that is not how Paul presents himself.

rlaWTX said...

there was a point?

Ron Paul said...

Me taking earmark money is perfectly fine, but don't worry, I'd get rid of it if I could.

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