Eagles Commit Suicide, Screaming “Obama”

We all want to protect the majestic symbol of America, the bald eagle. The current administration says the same thing. However, when it comes to protecting a magnificent endangered species versus promoting pie-in-the-sky green energy scams, the bird is going to lose every time. Crony capitalism is more important than a flying predator.

The problem is those wonderful wind turbines, which for the eagles are high-speed ginsu knives. Bald eagles are being sliced and diced to death at an astounding rate. It’s currently unclear how many of those bald eagles are actually golden eagles (the other national symbol) which have been scalped by the ecowindmills. It’s the new Obama National Theater production of Bye Bye Birdie.

The eagles join other raptors such as falcons, condors, and red-tailed hawks (the latter are not yet endangered) in suicidal plunges toward earth to snatch up their prey. Unfortunately, between the birds and their prey there are ever-increasing numbers of gigantic whirling filet machines designed to wean us off carbon products by the year 2030 (or the year 3000, depending on whose figures you believe). Marines facing potential death during a charge yelled “Geronimo” (before it became a politically-incorrect racial hate speech). Reports are that the eagles are screaming “Obama.”

Currently, the US Fish and Wildlife Service estimates that about 440,000 birds are killed each year by wind turbines. By the target year of 2030, there will be approximately 100,000 of those giant Cuisinarts killing nearly a million birds per year. Well, that’s life, says the administration. In order to kill off the demon petroleum enemy, we have to kill off a few avian civilians in the process. Acceptable losses. Collateral damage. Which would you rather have—a global warming Armageddon or a few dead birds?

Now you could help speed the process along by simply shooting a bald eagle whenever you get a chance. That is you could if you don’t mind incurring a $5,000 first offense fine and/or a year in jail. When you bag your second eagle, the fine doubles and if charged as a felony, you can get five years in prison or a $250,000 fine, or both. But if your ecoweenie windmills kill off sixty-seven eagles per year (the current annual count for the wind farms located in the Livermore California Altamont Pass alone), well them’s the breaks. The gummint calls the raptor losses “lethal take.” Lethal take = acceptable losses = collateral damage. It’s the ecoweenies’ version of “oops.”

Last year, the Obama administration sent out federal recon troops to ferret out bird-killers. They caught more miscreants than a good SEAL team. In North Dakota alone, specially-appointed US Attorney Timothy Purdon prosecuted seven oil producers for killing off twenty-eight birds that aren’t even on the endangered species list. The birds included mallard ducks, gadwall ducks, and one lone sandpiper. All of the birds had mistaken an open waste pit for a pond. All are covered by the Migratory Bird Treaty, so Mr. Purdon sought six months in jail plus $15,000 per bird for the accidental loss. A judge who hadn’t been drinking heavily that day ultimately dismissed the cases as overcharging and overzealousness on the part of the government.

Not so fortunate was Pacific Corporation in Wyoming, which paid $10.5 million in fines for the death of 232 golden eagles over a five-year period when the eagles perched on the company’s power lines and got fried. The Altamont wind farms can kill that many in under four years, but since wind turbines will save us from global warming, there will be no repercussions.

This is just one more example of how true believers belong in mental institutions and not in government. The paranoia of choosing between inefficient windmills and living beings is enough to drive any normal person nuts. But bureaucrats are bureaucrats (as we have discussed multiple times on this site), so they will do what they’re told to do. If those who tell them are econuts and Obama cronies, no matter. Anything that will save us from drowning in oil, choking to death from gasoline fumes, or sinking under the waters caused by melting polar caps is worth the sacrifice. After all, they’re only birds.