Thursday, September 6, 2012

Jack Sparrow Runs From Obama's France

We have to write these articles in advance, so I'll have to leave it to you to comment below on the final day of the Democratic convention and Barack Obama's acceptance speech. Meanwhile, I'll just have a little fun with Johnny Depp and Obama's socialist buddies in France. Over the course of the past couple of years, Obama hectored Europeans about turning to the right. The French agreed, elected a socialist government, and Depp is not a happy camper. He isn't leaving France because the price of mascara went up.

After his breakup with fellow Hollywood star Winona Rider, and following the drug-induced death of River Phoenix on the street outside Depp's Viper Room nightclub in Hollywood after a night of jamming and partying, the sensitive Mr. Depp decided America wasn't good enough for him anymore. He had his tattoo changed from "Winona forever" to "Wino forever," grabbed his jacket and bonnet, and headed for La Belle France. Ever since, Depp has spent most of his time in his mini-Versailles mansion, returning to the US for visits and hob-nobbing with his fellow Hollywood intellectuals such as Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie, and Julia Roberts.

In an Esquire Magazine article some years back, the expatriate Depp told the interviewer that he moved to France because the French are so much more civilized and cultured than Americans (razors, baths and deodorant to the contrary notwithstanding). He denigrated almost all things American (except movies, of course), and was particularly horrified by all the guns floating around among the American masses. In summary, Depp believes America to be an uncultured, violent nation--unlike France where everybody is a budding Rousseau or Montesquieu, and what little violence there is occurs only in the "Asian" banlieues.

Post-Sarkozy, the new socialist government is tightening its belt--around the throat of the rich. Programs sounding very Obama-like are being instituted such as 150,000 government jobs for youth, a return to shorter work weeks and longer vacations guaranteed by the government, and, oh, eating the rich with a top-tier tax rate of 75%. Vive la France! France has replaced the guillotine which lopped off the heads of the aristos and the rich with the noose of punishment for success.

As American royalty and a member of the super-rich class, Prince Johnny has decided it's time to get the hell out of Paris. French entrepeneurs and investors are fleeing France almost as fast as those fleeing California. Unless they move Hollywood to Switzerland or Germany, the Hollywood elite will mostly remain in California, but they know better that to stick around in France. Depp is no exception.

Under the new French tax plan, Depp would have to pay the highest French income tax rate with no credit for taxes paid back in the States. Culture and civilization be damned, Depp ain't a gonna pay those taxes. Depp told the Guardian UK: "France wanted a piece of me. They wanted me to become a permanent resident. Permanent residency status – which changes everything. They just want… Dough. Money." Depp goes on to say: "If I spend more than 183 days a year in France I will have to pay income tax in both Europe and America" He concludes with: "So you essentially work for free." I don't expect Depp and his ilk to join the Tea Party anytime soon, but at least he has had a minor epiphany.

Will he come back to America, only to face the possibility of an Obama reelection and a tax rate that would not be as bad as France's, but still very punitive? Will he come back to a Romney America where income taxes will not be nearly so onerous, but still in need of major reform? Or will he simply cut to the chase and move to "communist" Hong Kong where he'll get to keep most of his income?

Let me know what you think, and don't hesitate to tie it to Obama's acceptance speech and the Democrat agenda.

28 comments:

T-Rav said...

Hmmm....if Romney wins and he comes back to America, he can keep his income AND moan about how America needs to have a more egalitarian society or whatever. But, people might be see him moving back as an endorsement of Republican victory, and we certainly can't have that. But if Obama wins, he can't stay in France or come back to America, so maybe he'll have to go to Hong Kong. Decisions, decisions....

Tennessee Jed said...

a capitalist, eh. Who knew?

K said...

I'm inclined to cut Mr. Depp some slack. Unlike some obnoxious jerks who seem to think we need to be a party to their philsophical wisdom and guilt trips, his political profile is pretty low.

Joel Farnham said...

LawHawk,

I knew he was a poser. Scratch a liberal where his money is at and it turns him into a red-eyed capitalist. Hehehehe.

Writer X said...

"He isn't leaving France because the price of mascara went up." Love this. :)

Isn't amazing how their true intentions surface when they're directly impacted? Depp and his like-minded friends are all for "spreading the wealth," unless it's when their wealth is getting spread. Typical.

T-Rav said...

I don't think it would be too hard to get Depp to expose himself in the manner suggested. Especially if you look at some of his movies.

Patriot said...

Want a totally rad disconnect moment with a lib friend? Ask them what a "fair" tax rate should be for everyone. In other words, what should the highest tax rate be they should pay? And then ask them if someone else (repub govt) thinks it should be higher, would they be willing to pay it?

Take them all along up to total confiscatory (100%) taxes and watch them flip out..."does not compute....does not compute"

T-Rav said...

Patriot, you could also ask them if they think we should have a tax rate more like Canada's (which of course they'll say yes to) and then point out that the Great White North's rates are in fact lower than ours now are. Then sit back and enjoy.

rlaWTX said...

ahhh, that bank account has come a long way from Jump Street...

rlaWTX said...

T-Rav and Patriot: be careful "Lib-baiting" might be illegal in some of those 57 states...

rlaWTX said...

yep, very condimental...

obiwan2009 said...

You know, the funny thing I found out about France is, portions of the profits on films like "Despicable Me" worked by a French animation studio, had to be taxed. Guess some movie stars sort of saw this as a reason to start moving out.

T-Rav said...

rla, is it still illegal if I offer them arugula afterward?

T-Rav said...

LawHawk, I can't help it. They're just so easily confused.

Joel Farnham said...

LawHawk,

Do you have something against arugula?

Joel Farnham said...

LawHawk,

I heard it growing up, but it was called rugula, not arugula. It is a decent lettuce plant. Me, I like iceberg lettuce the best, then Romaine.

Calling rugula, arugula is like calling a large cup of coffee venti and charging more for it. It means nothing, just a way to be snobbish and in the "know", hehehehe.

CrisD said...

As usual, Hawk, your posts leave me speechless.

All I can say is..."Jump right in Depp, the water is fine!"

T-Rav said...

Yay, the DNC is back on! (puke)

Gabby Giffords was just up to lead the Pledge of Allegiance. Which would have been nice, if Debbie Windbag-Schultz hadn't been up there with her. Gross.

Libertarian Advocate said...

Perhaps we should play the Dems game with the Hollyweirders?

You didn't make that motion picture, everybody did

Funny how FAG sorry, SAG artists hate property rights except copyrights? Then suddenly they're the most rabid defenders of property one may ever encounter. I say tax Hollywood at 75%, after all, they're all part of the despised 1%, RIGHT???

hehehehe....

T-Rav said...

LawHawk, it's also a nice touch that Kerry, of all people, went after Romney for flip-flopping on foreign policy. I'd say it took a lot of nerve, but no one's going to call him on it. So it really didn't.

Individualist said...

So Depp is leaaving France is he .....

Well....

If he comes back to America and does not like out tax rates then Biden will tax him so can't come home....

Maybe he can buy a small Island in the Pacific

T-Rav said...

And the shallowness of his mind.

T-Rav said...

This just in from the brain of Joe Biden: Iraq lies beyond "the ends of the earth," apparently.

T-Rav said...

WOW. Do you have any idea what party you're talking to right now about the troops? Do you have ANY shame, you f@#king idiot?!

T-Rav said...

Oh boy, here comes the primary a**hole, I mean primary speaker.

Patti said...

I read that Esquire article (i'm a subscriber...for the article...and man recipes) and thought he was a douche. huh, still a douche, albeit one who *might* start using his brain and not just his libbie popularity.

tryanmax said...

I understand not wanting to work for free, but surely Johnny makes more than he needs. Why, he could simply refuse the gigantic payday that the Hollywood producers offer in favor of a more modest sum, couldn't he? Tighten the belt, Johnny, and don't be such a Crybaby. (See what I did there? tee hee!)

obiwan2009 said...

Okay, if someone thinks of living in France, what do they not tax there? Even film revenue gets taxed there!

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