Thursday, June 3, 2010

Where Have The Elves Been?

By the Boiler Room Elves

We know, we know -- the rumors have been rampant. The Elves are on an extended leave of absence; the Elves got busted importing illegal boilers without a license; the Elves tried to kill Andrew and pull off a coup resulting in -- oh wait, that's our “to do” list. The truth is - the Elves have been out taking advantage of the fine tax paying citizens of this country. That's right, the Elves are now 1st time home-owners, suckered in by The Dear Leader's Tree-House Tax Credit.

We found ourselves a cute little 100-year-old Victorian tree with all the gingerbread trimmings. A big kitchen for cookie baking, a lovely porch for whiling away lazy afternoons, and a basement just big enough for a boiler of our own. Ahhhh. The Bossmen are pretty much signing their checks directly over to Home Depot lately, and they're getting increasingly annoyed at our newfound lack of willingness to work overtime. In fact, don't tell the Bossmen, but as things in the treehouse get nicer and nicer, things in the Boiler Room are getting increasingly slipshod. Ahem. . .

Now, you may ask yourselves -- if the Boiler Room Elves are good little conservatives in favor of limited government and less spending, how dare they add to the problem by so flagrantly grabbing up one of The Dear Leader's handouts? Well, frankly, in this case, done is done, and we thought our own tax money is better spent back in our pocket than in the government's.

Anyway, if you out there in Commentarama-reader-land want to make a real difference in cutting spending and waste, have you checked out THIS SITE?

Every week, Republican House Whip Eric Cantor is putting up 5 things to cut from Federal spending that We The People (and Elves) get to vote on. Then, the Republicans are introducing a motion on the floor of the House to cut that item. So far, we've voted on two things. Last week was an amendment to eliminate a pay raise for federal government employees, which would have saved $30 billion. Representative Michele Bachman introduced the amendment, and naturally the Dems voted it down without even allowing debate. But the Dems are now on record voting not to skip their own pay raise this year. As Representative Cantor said in his e-mail: "(W)e are beginning to change the culture here in Washington. We will not stop until we have brought spending under control."

Go Representative Cantor! Go Representative Bachman! Go Commentarama and vote on the You Cut site!

Now, where did we leave that crown molding for the tree-house....


14 comments:

AndrewPrice said...

So that's what the Elves have been up to! Thanks for the website link. Now get back to work. . . the internet is getting cold!

MegaTroll said...

I was wondering where the Elves has gotten off to. I figured you were all busy taking over other companies.

Cool link. I'm going to start voting.

BoilerRoomElf said...

You think the internet is getting cold? You should've tried living in the house with no boiler in February!

AndrewPrice said...

That's what you get for trying to buy a house! You could have continued living quite happily in the boileroom!

AndrewPrice said...

Mega, I think we may add it to our list of links.

BevfromNYC said...

Hey, Elves! How come you get a new house and I don't? At least you've been keeping up with what's happening between whiskey benders. Good work on linking to the website.

(Don't tell Andrew I said that. You know how he can get sometimes)

Oh yeah, please don't kill Andrew. We need him...

AndrewPrice said...

Gee, thanks Bev.


FYI Everyone, we've added the You Cut site to our links. Check it out and go vote.

BoilerRoomElf said...

Bev, we'll take your request not to kill Andrew under advisement. As you note, we're bribable with whiskey!

Oh, and we get a new house because we paid off the right politicians. It's not like we EARNED it or something. Sheesh.

Mega, go vote! You can actually vote for as many as you want every week.

BoilerRoomElf said...

Oh, and thanks for adding the link, Bossman! It may seem like a small thing, but it's something we do very easily and we think it's just yet another way to speak up.

CrispyRice said...

Hi Elves! Gee, what kind of a credit score do you guys have to get a house right now? Wow! I want to work for Commentarama, too!

AndrewPrice said...

Crispy, We apparently pay them too much if their credit is that good. Or they're out there robbing banks, which is also very possible.

StanH said...

Elves are people too! …in a munchkin type of way. I’m sympathetic with their wee plight, it’s part of the American dream to own a (tree) house. Hell, if I worked for a couple of lawyers, I’d be a drunk too - - so let the little ones have their whiskey. I believe they should get a raise as well, their cookies are “A-1.” So when you think of the little bastards…I mean elves, think of cookies and milk, or a pot of gold, and not the fact I’ve got a shillelagh pointed at my head, and they’re making me say these nice things…: (

AndrewPrice said...

Stan, LOL! That sounds like to Elves! Threats and kidnapping are their union's forte.

BoilerRoomElf said...

Whoa right there!! You really don't overpay us, Andrew! No way!

And Crispy, the jobs here aren't all they're cracked up to be. But if you want to fill out an application, we can't legally stop you.

Stan, we suggest you be quiet before you say something you might regret! Don't forget, we know where you keep your cookies!

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