Monday, May 2, 2011

The Osama Bin Laden Conspiracy Center

By now you’ve all heard the “news” that Osama bin Laden is on his way to meet his virgins, who are presumably all male. . . and goats. While I am quite pleased this rotten P.O.S. is dead, certain questions have been raised by this chain of events. Some might even say something's up! Indeed, here are some of the instant conspiracy theories surrounding his death. I’m not saying I believe them, but I want you to believe them. (Just kidding.) Please feel free to bunk or debunk or to add to the list!

1. The Biggie: It wasn’t Osama bin Laden they killed. This one was going to come up no matter what. Heck, people still think Elvis and Hitler are alive too. But Team Obama made this a lot worse by dumping the body at sea without giving the world a chance to come kick the corpse and check the VIN.

As anyone who’s ever tried to collect a reward while some mafia don looks skeptically at the body in your truck knows, it’s very hard to prove that a corpse is the person you claim it is. This has been a problem for law enforcement and militaries ever since Julius Caesar looked at Marcus Antonius’s bloated corpse and said, “quisnam est ut.” (“Who dat?”) Indeed, it took decades to identify Hitler’s body. They only recently figured out that Anastasia did indeed die where the Rolling Stones claimed. And they still don’t know if they got various Western outlaws.

So there will always be room for doubt, especially in the Middle East where facts are irrelevant to belief. Thus, no matter what, it was going to be hard to convince Middle Easterners and a handful of conspiracy nuts in the US that they actually killed THE Osama bin Laden.

And now they’ve gone and made this worse by dumping the body at sea. What were they thinking? Keep in mind, this is an administration that no one trusts and which desperately needs something like this to distract the public from their failures, i.e. they have an incentive to lie. Even the intelligence people can’t be trusted on this one. These are the same intelligence people who couldn’t get him for ten years, who claimed to have gotten him before, and who kept capturing body-doubles of various famous people and claiming they had the real thing. For all we know, Mr. Osarma ben Loden just bought the madras and is now sleeping with the fishes. Rest in peace Mr. ben Loden.

Likelihood: 50%.

2. The Timing Is Suspicious Part I: Does the timing bother you? It should. We’re told they’ve been following him for more than 10 months but just couldn’t find the right time to kill before now. Really? Could it be that Obama waited to have Osama killed until he needed help in the polls? With Libya turning into a disaster, the Taliban announcing yesterday that they are starting their annual offensive in Afghanistan (right after NATO claimed the Taliban no longer had the will to fight), and Trump making a monkey (in a non-racist way) of Obama, doesn’t the timing of this just seem a bit too good?

Likelihood: 95%.

3. The Timing Is Suspicious Part II: Why did it take so long to get him? And isn’t it suspicious that the military gets him now that even the Republicans are talking about cutting the military budget? Man, it's 1968 all over again! Actually, no, this one's silly. Our military doesn’t work that way because the funding people and the actual soldiers don’t really mix.

Likelihood: 2%

4. The Timing Is Suspicious Part III: Does it strike anyone as strange that Obama held a press conference at 10:30 at night EST? In the past, even when they got Saddam, they waited a day or so to check their facts and then had a traditional presser. Obama didn’t. Was it a coincidence that this announcement caused NBC to cut away from the end of Celebrity Apprentice. . . the show belonging to the man who has been embarrassing Barack bin Obama for several weeks now? I’m not saying it. . . but I am thinking it very loudly.

Likelihood: 99.2%

5. Those Dirty Pakistani Traitors!: How in the world could Osama have been living in luxury in Pakistan without the assistance and protection of the Pakistani security forces? Obama’s claim that Pahkeestahn was notified after the fact pretty much confirms that our own people knew not to trust Pakistan. Now it’s time to clean out that nest of traitors.

Likelihood: 60%

6. Those Dirty Pakistani Traitors!: Clearly, the government of Pakistan has been working with the US this entire time. They are puppets of the Americans, and Obama’s lie that he did not tell them about this was meant to cover up their complicity. Western dogs. Now it’s time to clean out that nest of traitors.

Likelihood: 60%

7. Bin Laden Worked for the CIA: Could it be that Osama Bin Laden switched sides and was working for the CIA since 2007? But if that’s the case, then why kill him? For one thing, this is a conspiracy and those never need to make sense. For another, why not? Maybe he had something he was going to do to embarrass the agency? Maybe they just got sick of cutting him checks? In any event, this pig was working for the man, man! Oh man.

Likelihood: 20%

8. There Was No Bin Laden: Man, it’s like this. Bush needed a way to feed the evil war machine and grab Iraq’s oil, and he wanted to blow up some building unrelated to (but nearby) the World Trade Center for reasons no one has yet figured out. So he personally blew up the World Trade Center and then invented Osama bin Laden to take the fall. Obama figured this out, but rather than expose Bush he used the Osama character to try to get his own glory too. Oh man, it’s all there. . .

Likelihood: 0.0%

That’s all I’ve got for now. Though I wonder where Hillary has been? Does she have sniper training? And did I hear that right that Osama actually died at a hospital in Texas where he was being treated for VD? And who is buried in Grant's tomb? Thoughts? Additions?

58 comments:

LawHawkRFD said...

Hillary was in charge of sewing Osama into the shroud. She originally made the shroud for Bill, but got side-tracked. Hillary is also deeply-involved in the "Save the Sharks" movement, and was thrilled to be allowed to feed them. Only problem--the sharks wouldn't eat him. They subscribe to the Musim strictures concerning cannibalism.

AndrewPrice said...

Save the sharks! LOL!

I kind of like the image of Hillary sitting in a ditch with the snipers rifle, waiting. . . waiting. . .

. . .and then someone told her to leave the White House grounds. ;-)

LawHawkRFD said...

Andrew: I've heard of the "snake in the grass." But you've managed to educate me about "the Hillary in the Rose Garden."

AndrewPrice said...

Yeah, you've got to watch those. LOL! Not only are they dangerous, but they poop everywhere. . . like pigeons or geese. And at night, you hear them cackle about universal health care.

T-Rav said...

Andrew, I don't know about the other theories (I'm not a huge fan of the conspiracy thing, left or right), but as for #5 (Those Dirty Pakistani Traitors!), I think we can upgrade the likelihood on that one to 100 percent.

http://hotair.com/headlines/archives/2011/05/02/report-bin-ladens-compound-used-to-be-isi-safe-house/

JG said...

I remember watching the news of the capture of Saddam as I was getting ready for church early one Sunday morning. I think the actual press conference was that afternoon, but I saw the news about 7:30ish (central time) that day. So I don't find it too unprecedented that the announcement came at a weird time. I DO find it odd that they let it leak on the internet and delayed the presser for an hour. Personally, as cool as it was to watch the drama unfold online, I guess I would have rather heard the news from my President, whoever it is.

As far as whether they delayed the attack/announcement to when it might be advantageous for the polls...wouldn't waiting until, you know, 2012 make more sense? But that's just me.

The biggest "myth" I have heard? That this will somehow shut the Truthers up. I worked side-by-side in a small room with one for a year and the whole time this was breaking last night I heard his voice in my head saying, "They're just tying up loose ends, of course they don't want to capture him alive, they're afraid he'll confess he's been playing the stooge for the CIA for years...." blah blah blah.

I do, however, find the timing with The Apprentice humorous. I'm glad they waiting till Amazing Race was over in our timezone, though. Especially considering, like I said, I found out via twitter.

Oh, and for the record, where I first got wind of the nature of the announcement? From Dwayne Johnson's (The Rock's) twitter. He's in Europe promoting the latest Fast movie. And started making substantive teases before anyone else. I still want to know how he found out so early.

AndrewPrice said...

T_Rav, You don't believe in conspiracy theories? I'm deeply hurt. What are you a communist/fascist/conservative/rationalist/miscellaneousist?

Actually, I don't go in for conspiracy theories either, though they are fun to play around with some times -- like this one.... Did ancient astronauts build my house? :-)


On the Pakistan thing, there is a lot of evidence that much of militant Islam has been organized by the Pakistani ISI and funded by the Saudi royal family. That is something that we really should be looking at as a question of policy at this point -- how do we use those facts and connections to starve and cut off these terrorist movements.

T-Rav said...

Andrew, depending on whether or not I am taking my meds, I am all those things at the same time, including miscellaneous. And no, ancient astronauts did not build my house. Ancient Mayans trying to signal the ancient astronauts did.

Anyway, I have a feeling there are going to be serious repercussions in our relationship with Pakistan. Musharraf has been on the air, devoting about 10% of the time to expressing his happiness that Osama is dead and 90% to complaining about U.S. intrusion of Pakistani sovereignty. At best, this is a supreme lack of judgment...but this town they found him in was crawling with military and intelligence agents. And he'd apparently been there for months, at least. So now the question is, will our government strike a very different tone in its dealings with Islamabad, or just sweep all this under the rug? Can they even do that last one?

AndrewPrice said...

JG, That's a very good question. If I were the government, I'd be concerned that a film star knew about this so early. I like the Rock and I trust him as a pretty patriotic American, but it's still not good for the government to be so loose with information.

I can't see anything stopping the Truthers. Their whole theory is perfect in a conspiratorial sense because they've defined anything that disproves it as proof of the theory itself -- like the tying up loose ends thing or like the idea that anyone who challenges them is in on it. They've basically inoculated themselves from ever seeing the truth. Fortunately, there are very few of them and they tend to be irrelevant.

In terms of the conspiracies I mention above, I'm being rather tongue in cheek. If they were trying to manipulate the timing for political purposes, then it would have made more sense to wait until October 2012. I suspect the timing had more to do with them watching him to get information out of him and then something changing on the ground, e.g. he started packing to leave. But who knows what really happened? For all we know, they were watching him and he died a heart attack? At this point, I have no reason to distrust the military version.

In any event, I think the real question this raises is the thing T-Rav is putting his finger on -- what does this tell us about the government of Pakistan and what can/should we do about it. It may finally be time to clean out their intelligence service, though how to do that would be the question.

P.S. I think (but don't remember for sure) that Reagan announced the bombing of Libya very late at night.

AndrewPrice said...

T_Rav, Right now, you really can't believe anything you hear from either government about how they interacted. I suspect that if Pakistan did help us, then that's the last thing they want to announce to their crazy people. So they will of course complain about us and claim they had no idea this was happening.

I suspect it's more likely than not that they were helping us or else (1) they would be a lot nastier about it today and wouldn't be treating bin Laden like a bad guy (they would probably be calling him a martyr) and (2) the US probably would have struck at a point when several ISI officers were present at Obama's house so that we could catch them red-handed.

But that's just speculation. At this point, we literally have no idea whose side Pakistan is on.

I think the real test will be (1) will there be a purge of the ISI in the near future and (2) will Pakistan become less of a safe haven for Islamic terrorism? If those things happen, then it's pretty clear that they're working with us. If they don't, then I suspect Pakistan isn't too interested in helping us.

In any event, this will probably end up with a series of rather large attacks throughout the region and maybe even here or in Europe. I would certainly expect attacks on embassies, Western tourists (if any), and Pakistani government facilities.

Writer X said...

You mean the fact that Obama fired the kill shot isn't true??

P.S. Obama (oops, I meant Osama, Usama, whatever) was spotted in Graceland this morning. (95%)

JG said...

Oh I knew you were being facetious. I wasn't really responding to you, just the ideas.

And as far as The Rock, he was the first to start fist-pumping and Go Team America-ing until the presser started. link I kept replying and asking where he heard it, but obviously, didn't get a response. :)

AndrewPrice said...

Writer X, No, that's absolutely true. . . at least to hear Biden tell it! ;-)


Great, so now Obama bin Laden... er., Osama bin Laden and Elvis will start being spotted together! NOooooo!! Run King, run!

AndrewPrice said...

JG, I figured, I just wanted to make that clear in case someone shows up and says "hey, this guy is speaking truth through the radio waves in my head!"

I have to admit, I like the Rock -- always have.

JG said...

Same here....but probably differently. :) I'm about worn out on the Fast franchise, but I'll be watching this one! Vin Diesel AND The Rock? I'm there!

//end tangent

AndrewPrice said...

Yeah, probably different! LOL!

I'm a big Vin Diesel fan too -- and would like to see him in more films.

I agree about the Fast franchise, it's getting a bit old. But I'll see this one too.

T-Rav said...

Andrew, that's what quite a few are saying, so I guess it's not an implausible theory. But from one point of view, that's almost as bad as the army and intelligence being in collusion with him. If that's the case, it means the Pakistani government has even less control (i.e., none) over their country than we thought, especially if they have to act like they're mad about this.

Even so, we do know that bin Laden was spending a good deal of time at this house, right down the street from government agencies and military headquarters. This was going on for too long not to think that major sections of the army and ISI knew very well where he was and said nothing.

By the way--the New Yorker said this morning that Tajikistan's (it exists, I promise) army and intel were telling us as far back as '09 that the ISI was tipping off Osama whenever we got too close for comfort. If true, that would explain a lot; and makes me question whether anyone in Pakistan was made aware of yesterday's raid after all.

T-Rav said...

Oh, and also, Glenn Beck was just comparing the celebrations last night to those in the Arab world on 9/11. I'm done.

BevfromNYC said...

there is a rumor that all of this went down on Friday, not Saturday. Maybe Obama was being considerate and didn't want to overshadow Will and Kate's wedding. I tend to believe this timing though not for this reason. This all supposedly went down at 2am in the morning. The military had 24 hours to bury him somewhere, but they also had to make pretty dang sure that it was bin Laden before they buried him. Blood samples, tissue samples, quick autopsy to determine if he had kidney disease, photos etc. AND it had to take time to get him from northern Pahkeeston to a ship.

Then there was gathering the bacon to make the shroud, though they could be doing that on the ship while OBL's body was in transit and the decision on which "head" to send him out through. Though I think they should have used one of the torpedo bays...I'm still working out some of the details.

AndrewPrice said...

T_Rav, That is the other possibility, and in truth it's 50/50 either way -- and neither is good.

1. Either the government is helping us but has little control over the country and fears its own intelligence service and people, so they need to publicly attack us.

OR

2. They are in league with Osama, the Saudis and the Taliban the whole time and have been playing us for fools.

I think both may be true. I think the current government is very, very weak and is afraid of their military, intelligence service and people. I also think they want to stay on our good side, but are terrified of being seen to be working with us, and thus are trying to please both sides. But they aren't the real power in Pakistan.

The real power is the army and the ISI. For many years now, I've been reading that the ISI created the Taliban in the 1990s as a counter-weight to Indian influence in Afghanistan and they've been sponsoring Islamic terrorism to counter Indian influence in Kashmir.

The army has been relatively pro-American but has turned a blind eye to the ISI's activities so long as they've been aimed externally. But lately, these terrorist groups have started to strike internally, which is why the army acted to take back one of their states last year -- a fight they are still engaged in.

What happens now is the real question. Whose side is the army really on? Whose side is the government really on? Who is really in charge? I don't think we know the answers to any of these questions, but we better figure them out quickly.

AndrewPrice said...

T_Rav, That's pretty twisted reasoning and will probably lose him a lot of viewers.

BevfromNYC said...

T-Rav - You know what? If Beck said that they are similar, he might be right. The kids, mostly college age, have grown up with the spector of "Osama bin Laden" as the great Satan. It is not that dissimilar to the US being the great Satan for their young people.

AndrewPrice said...

Bev, I love the idea of a bacon shroud! That would be very fitting.

In terms of the torpedo, I think I would have preferred they didn't shoot him first. Just grab him, fly him out into the middle of the Atlantic, cover him in bacon grease, drop him off and see how good of a swimmer he is. :-)


I would think it probably took time to run the VIN number on the guy.

ScottDS said...

I think we all know what the real conspiracy is...

Bin Laden is an alien which would explain why the Allen Telescope Array at SETI recently lost its funding. :-)

(My latest article is resting in your e-mail inbox.)

rlaWTX said...

I don't think blogger likes me - that's 2 awesome posts it has eaten!!!

short version... Go Seals! Go Navy!

Joel Farnham said...

Andrew,

After I heard about Osama's death this morning, I could not help but think about this short scene from "Space Above and Beyond". This is arguably the best one of that series. We celebrate Osama's death.

I am also glad they threw the body away at sea all the while honoring Muslim sensitivities. I am sure no country wanted to have a notorious terrorist attraction.

The only theory, I will entertain, as to why this was handled recently and not earlier or later is the change in who will be running the CIA. The operation is an all Democrat thing. Petraus is Bush's guy even though he works for Obama now. The actual timing of Obama's announcement is just out of spite. Like some announcements made after three Eastern time on Friday. So Rush can't comment. This timely announcement is just to kill a little bit of Trump's bluster.

My prediction is Obama will get a small bump, but in the end it won't matter. He still is toast.

AndrewPrice said...

Scott, I'll check it out after I see my dentist in a few minutes. :I

I like the Osama is an alien idea. And, as an aside, I just heard about SETI. What the heck! If you want a conspiracy theory, then try this one -- aliens are among us and they spent us into oblivion so that we could not longer afford SETI. Now that we can't listen in, they're building a galactic overpass in our neighborhood. Grrr. It's Hitchhiker's Guide all over again! Ahhhhhh!

AndrewPrice said...

rlaWTX, Sorry to hear that. I can't explain why blogger does some of the things it does? I just checked and they aren't in the spam filter, so I don't know where they went.


In any event, let me second your thoughts. Our military is great! Woo hoo! :-)

AndrewPrice said...

Joel, Now that is an interesting point, that this was done before the CIA changed hands. I actually don't doubt that something like that might have played into it, because the government does seem to work that way.

I suspect the timing of the announcement itself was to get the word out before people went to work on Monday so this would be the topic of conversation -- always give bad news Friday night and good news Sunday night. Will it help Obama in the polls? I doubt it. Maybe 2-3% for a week.

I think it was a wise decision to get rid of the body or he would have become a terrorist attraction and been a constant provocation we had to deal with. Still, it would have been nice to see him embalmed like Lennon and lying on the National Mall where everyone could come by and take a leak. . . er, take a look. ;-)

I liked Space Above and Beyond a good deal, it's too bad they canceled it. They always kill Sci-Fi shows too quickly.

T-Rav said...

Bev, I can't really buy into that line of reasoning, if for no other reason than it hasn't only been college-age kids such as myself celebrating. Besides, before I turned it off, Beck did seem to be making the argument that cheering over bin Laden's demise was the moral equivalent of the Muslims who cheered at the Towers' fall, and I can't put up with that. He's just left a permanently bad taste in my mouth. I kinda get what he was trying to say, but he should have found a far better way to say it.

BevfromNYC said...

Hey, you know, if Obama had been smarter, we could have auctioned off the body to one of our cities in need of a tourist attraction like they did with the space shuttles. Maybe give it to Detroit. I mean, Mayor Bloomberg's latest brilliant idea is to send all of our new immigrants (legal and otherwise) to Detroit, so they can start businesses and stuff. I think an OBL-related theme park laid out like Mecca could have been a great first immigrant business! Though maybe it's just me, but I wasn't really aware that we actually told immigrants the places in the US where they were allowed to move to.

rlaWTX said...

I heard others say - type - on NRO similar comparisons.
I say "Bull****!".

there isn't a moral equivelency between Palastinians celebrating a Jewish family's murder or dragging dead soldiers through the street and folks in NY or the Naval Academy celebrating that a mass murdering, son of a swine is dead. And that we killed him. And if it has to be explained to you WHY, then never mind. just go back to bed and see if you like tomorrow better.

rlaWTX said...

addedendum: I moved to Alexandria VA in August 2001. My brother was USMC.

patti said...

i thought the pic they released of barry and inner circle watching the action unfold was classy. hillary added the pulled heart-strings with her hand over her mouth in shock. the real conspiracy is that they were actually watching SHARK WEEK! on discovery for ideas of what to do with osamas's body after they had wrapped it in bacon (LAZY BUT FUNNY JOKE!), um i mean shrouded it.

man, those sharks looooove bacon.

patti said...

OMG! bev beat me to the bacon shroud joke! well done, bev! STILL FUNNY!

AndrewPrice said...

Bev, I wasn't aware of that either?? So Bloomberg wants to deport all them dirty foreigners from NYC to Detroit? Why does that sounds like something Bloomberg would call racist if Dallas did it? And who will drive all of NYC's cabs?

AndrewPrice said...

T_Rav, I maybe get Beck's point that we shouldn't revel in death, but you know what.... some people need killin' and when those people get killed, it's worth celebrating.

AndrewPrice said...

rlaWTX, It's all about innocence v. guilt. There is nothing moral or right in celebrating the deaths of innocent people. But there is nothing wrong in celebrating the death of a tyrant or murderer.

AndrewPrice said...

Patti, Sharks can't resist the great taste of bacon! :-)

I haven't seen the photo, but I think I'll go look for it. After all, a shot of our CiC in action is pretty rare!

patti said...

andrew: the pic is on the top of the drudge page.

AndrewPrice said...

Patti, I just saw it about a second ago. You tell me, who in that scene looks like they're the President? Why is Obama hiding in the corner like some intern? Isn't he supposed to be in charge?

AndrewPrice said...

Ok, we have our first open conspiracy theories.

Cindy Sheehan told her cult: "I am sorry, but if you believe the newest death of OBL, you’re stupid. Just think to yourself—they paraded Saddam’s dead sons around to prove they were dead—why do you suppose they hastily buried this version of OBL at sea? This lying, murderous Empire can only exist with your brainwashed consent—just put your flags away and THINK!"

And of course the truthers think this was all fake. Radio host Alex Jones said: "Government had Osama bin Laden frozen for years." Just like Disney!

More to come no doubt.....

BevfromNYC said...

Of course, it never actually occurred to Mayor Bloomberg that maybe we could send actually US citizens to Detroit to open businesses...

AndrewPrice said...

Bev, Wait a minute, so he wants to ship immigrants to Detroit "to work"? Isn't that called slavery?

"We'll bring them over on big ships and land them in Detroit, where they can all be put to work revitalizing Detroit. . . it will be grand. And Robocop can watch them and make sure they don't escape."

Are you sure Bloomberg isn't insane?

BevfromNYC said...

Andrew, Bloomberg is a billionaire, so I believe the term we are supposed to use is "eccentric", not "insane". Poor people are "insane". But YES, I actually thing Bloomberg is certifiably very, very "eccentric"!

And it's not to ship them to work for someone else. They are supposed to go there to start their own businesses...

T-Rav said...

Andrew, I'm sure Cindy Sheehan's follower was hanging on her every word.

AndrewPrice said...

Bev, That is certifiably eccentric! LOL!

So I guess we're supposed to turn Detroit into some sort of refuge camp in the hope that the refugees turn it into an industrial powerhouse? When has that ever worked in the past?

That's quite a mayor you've got there!

AndrewPrice said...

T-Rav, LOL! Yep, I'm sure Biden is waiting for her next stupidity with baited breath.

LawHawkRFD said...

I knew Cindy Sheehan would rear her hideous head again. Probably preparing for her next run against ultra-conservative Nancy Pelosi in SF. LOL

AndrewPrice said...

"ultra-conservative Nancy Pelosi".... those are words I never thought I'd hear, even in jest!

T-Rav said...

I'm pretty sure Webster's Dictionary is having a meltdown right now trying to make that Pelosi phrase compute. It's up there with other meta-oxymorons such as "melodious techno music" or "the lovely and talented Joy Behar."

Also, for what it's worth, the Long War Journal (never heard of it) says it was told by a US intelligence official that Pakistan was deliberately not told about the attack before it happened, because they "could not be trusted." I guess this could just be more cover for Islamabad by us, but still...

LawHawkRFD said...

Andrew and T_Rav: Remember, San Francisco is not the real world. Sheehan made speeches the last election cycle which included "Pelosi the warmonger" and "member of the conservative establishment." You have to look these things up in the Space Aliens Dictionary. Webster's doesn't recognize them.

LawHawkRFD said...

Here's a sample of what I mean. While even the MSM got caught up in the celebrations taking place in New York City and outside the White House, along with thousands of other cities big and small, the San Francisco Chronicle headline this morning reads: "Bay Area reacts to bin Laden news with calm relief." Barf bag, anyone?

AndrewPrice said...

Lawhawk, They probably mean that they're relieved that we didn't find him living in Pelosi's basement!


T_Rav, I wouldn't trust Pakistan either, quite frankly.

T-Rav said...

I've got your calm relief right here, San Francisco.

Tennessee Jed said...

lots of great comments folks!

Mike Kriskey said...

I love a good consipracy theory. (I'm a skeptic, but I appreciate creativity.)

Here's one, to which I won't assign a probability.

Osama is being forcefully interrogated as we speak. Eventually, his body will be dumped in the ocean--after photos are taken of his corpse.

AndrewPrice said...

Mike, I enjoy the creativity too! :-)

Now that one is actually quite believable. If they did capture him alive, there would be no reason to have to share that with the world and since you have to say something as he's disappeared, why not declare him dead and then go about taking your time questioning him.... before feeding him to the fishes!

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