Yes, we will be doing play by play of tonight's debate. . . what debate you ask? Tonight's ABC/Des Moines Register/Republican Children of the Corn Debate! Live from Drake University in beautiful Des Moines, Iowa! Here piggy piggy piggy.
In case you missed it, Cain put his campaign into suspended animation, like Walt Disney, until a cure can be found for failure. Huntsman lost his invite and can't be there tonight. Michelle Bachmann will attend, but first she has to shake an 8 year old stalker. Rick Perry will attend, after a quick stop at the Brokeback Mountain gift shop. Brokeback Mountain could be Beaker's favorite film. Mitt Romney plans to attend provided everyone thinks that's the right choice for him and for America. Newt plans to appear because he invented debating and he luvs him some cow tipping. And Ron Paul will appear, but won't be allowed to speak.
Anyhoo, the debate is on ABC. . . 9:00 pm EST. We'll put a link to the live feed: (HERE).
In the meantime, while I have your attention, I need some help coming up with a list of films that you think include genuine liberal "sucker punches." :)
Saturday, December 10, 2011
T-Rav's Sockpuppet Theater Presents: Children of the Corn!
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447 comments:
«Oldest ‹Older 201 – 400 of 447 Newer› Newest»Andrew-no news made here tonight! :)
And frankly, Diane Saywer sounds drugged.
Dammit! I just spilled my beer! I need that.
You guys are soooo great, but you could just do this one little thing for us, that would be soooo awesome.
CrisD, None yet. I haven't heard anything that sounds like policy or ideas, just a bunch of "was" and "was not."
Fred Thompson... wanna run for President?
If Obama wins a second term, we're seceding.
Pop Tarts are lying liars...
Please, Fred, pleeeeeaaaase?
Okay, guys, commercial break poll. Who's winning?
Romney
Gingrich
Perry
Ron Paul!
Bachmann
Santorum
Fred Thompson
Count Chocula
Obama
Mitt: "I understand how the economy works, and I still don't give a $#!+."
Totally agree guys. Thompson/Ryan 2012! (Or Ryan/Thompson 2012!)
So far, this has been little more than sniping. The format is promoting that and the candidates are reveling in it.
Someone needs to stand up and say "enough of this, I have something real to say."
Instead, we're getting into "you're a liar" and "you said this ten years ago" and "he said something bad, now it's my turn."
Honestly, our cereal debate has had more substance.
I gotta say, Beans makes a very compelling case. If we could get a Beans/Corn ticket together, I might get excited about this election again.
T-Rav, So far, Fred Thompson is winning followed closely by Count Chocula... birth certificate not withstanding.
If anyone from Iowa is reading this, fess up. Those ethanol fumes cause brain damage, don't they?
We are all winners tonight...
I know he's not running, but I really like what Tony the Tiger has to say.
Ok, Describe any of the candidate's economic plans.
Andrew-scary and true! The sniping tonight is really awkward. Didn't they learn from previous?
The truest words Snuffleupagus has ever spoken.
Did I say that?
Everybody but Newt: "Yes"
Newt: "Let me tell you why that question is stupid."
Bev, you say that in jest, but if they made the entire Commentarama gang joint presidents right now, you and I could be shooting it out over cats 24/7 and we'd still collectively be better than any of these jokers.
Why can't Rick Perry just say what he means? Beating around the Bush (no pun intended) is unbecoming.
I don't care who they married--just please beat the bam-bam!!!
Perry just stole all my thunder, gosh darn it!
Oh, crap, I'm slow. The real question was, "Please tell America why we, the MSM, were justified in tearing Cain down."
"trust is everything."
Actually, the constitution should be everything. We should not have a government that relies on trusting a fuhrer.
Andrew, I call bullcrap on the "no pun intended" plea.
This is where I like Paul. Oath of office.
I'll admit, I like Paul's redirect.
tryanmax, you nailed it.
I have a core... like a pineapple
T-Rav, yeah, I may have misspoken with intent on that.
See, when I don't say anything about Ron Paul as he's answering a question, that's how you know he's saying something I can't disagree with.
Watch as I carefully avoid talking about my ex-wives.
Keep it clean folks.
I really dislike Diane Sawyer.
I'm pretty much mainlining vodka at this point, guys.
Citizen review board? Huh?
(guiltily raises hand) Sorry. I couldn't resist. I'm a bad person.
Ah, this is Newt's attempt to grant amnesty without sounding like he's doing that by doing it at the local level.
Because that would be a heartless thing to do, right Newt?
Had to step away for diaper duty. In other words, I didn't miss a thing.
Actually, yeah, the information released shows the immigrant population is heavily stacked toward having been here 15-25 years or more. So...
EVASION....
I wasn't talking about 15 years, I was only talking 25, I never said 15, people who have been here 15 years are evil we should kill them.
Well tryanmax, in that case, why weren't you commenting as you watched? (See what I did there?)
T-Rav, BUT that's not what Newt is saying, you're putting facts in his mouth. He was only saying they could all stay and be residents, they just can't call themselves citizens.
By the time the congress is done with Newts idea, this mythical 25 year alien would be made mayor by fed law! Same with Romney..
Wow, Romney wants to send them all home.
I wonder if he means it?
Well, Andrew said to keep it clean, so...
I don' wanna Mexican immigrants to go awway, they gimme lotsa teqla...teuqil...lotsa alcoholic Mexican drinks.
Good answer by Perry, but an obvious one.
CrisD, They would find the local boards that let them stay, so they would all get to stay. Then they would instantly become quasi-citizens. Two years later, the courts would declare them legal.
Newt's policy is: Amnesty and I hope you're all too stupid to understand what I'm doing.
Heck no he doesn't mean it! I like the words, but it'll be a cold day in hell before any president tries to send all 11 million home.
Diane,
♪♫ Wastin' away again in Obamaville! ♪♫
The Palestinians are real! They've been there longer than the Jews! Drive those evil Zionist occupiers out, dagnabbit! Gold!!!
I just meant the part about enforcing laws we already have instead of passing more new ones.
Paul is partially right about us being too involved. The problem is he goes WAY TOO FAR with it.
Oops. A one-liner falls flat for once.
Yeah, yeah immigration...taxes...Hey Tryanmax, how did you make the little musical notes?
"enough lying about the Middle East"
yeah, I agree with that.
Q: If there are 13 Jews and 9 Jews are killed, how many Jews are left?
A: Too many!
tryanmax,
I second Bev! Howdya make the notes?
I do want to be clear on this, though: If Ron Paul does somehow get nominated, Obama will win 40 states.
I like the fact Romney is attacking Obama and not the others on stage.
T-Rav, Only 40?
start/all programs/accessories/system tools/character map
(WinXP)
☺ ☻ ♠ ♣ ♥ ♦
How dare you say presidents require sobriety!
Romney is getting much more flustered than usual, or maybe that's just wishful thinking on my part.
Andrew, I was trying to be charitable. ;-)
á½¢ Hey, look at that!
Wait, you guys are asking ME to be a referee here? I think you really are drunk.
What's wrong with swine?!
♫♪!!! I did it!! ♫♪♫♪La-la-la♫♪♫♪
You know, her stories are extremely dull.
... I was wearing an onion on my belt, as was the fashion in those days...
I'm the king of non-answers!
T-Rav-
Romney opened strong. but I feel that he has been a little sloppy tonight. He was not air-tight like usual.
Can I finish? Can I please finish?
Santorum speaks the truth with Prudence. I speak the truth with everyone.
I'm too busy sockpuppeting to find out what you crazy people are doing with your character symbols and your...things...
Perry goes Newt.
Where's that jello pit?
CrisD, This has been a hard night.
This is like some idiot college kids sitting around a table spouting off about how they would change the world. It's hard to look good in that kind of debate.
That Rick fellow is a total liar. He never talks with me at all.
Perry can't count to 3.
Well, if I was the king of the world, I'll tell you what I'd do.
I'd throw away the cars and the bars and the wars, and make sweet love to you.
CrisD, hearing that would make me feel better if it wasn't for the fact that everyone else was also sucking.
We have a partner in all of this, which of course is Jim Beam.
Dear Prudence, won't you come out to play?
tryanmax, That's uh...
I know you guys are making fun, but look me in the eye and tell me I'm your last choice for the GOP nomination right now.
Diane's best friends: Jim, Jack, and José
tryanmax, I'm calling the sexual harassment hotline on you.
So tonight, we've slandered:
Captain Crunch
Count Chocula
Prudence
Diane Sawyer
Iowa
Corn
Beans
tryanmax, LOL! Yep, she seems to be very good friends with those indeed.
Holy God, this is even more painful in rewind. "Yes you did!" "No I didn't!" "Yes you did!" "No I didn't!" "MOM!!!"
Newt: "I didn't speak as a President, I spoke as a historian."
That's the problem right there, Newt. He doesn't get that a Presidential candidate should not be speaking like a whack-job college professor.
For whatever reason, after everything in the past hour, I saw Charlie Sheen's interview in that promo and got a case of the giggles.
Diane! Get away from the open bar! We're back on!
What kind of stupid question is this?
What does this tell us about them?
I had to cut back on my education. It doesn't show, does it?
"I was more poor than you were."
lexicon wasn't in Perry's lexicon
Someone should put Charlie Sheen up on that stage. Oh, wait, he'd look sane next to Ron Paul. Nevermind.
Is it possible to slander Charlie Sheen?
I think someone should dissect this answer. It's randomness might give us a clue to the nature of the universe.
Eh, at least Romney's being honest about his upbringing, I'll give him that.
Romney had a dad, unlike the rest who came from test tubes or pods.
tryanmax, what's the difference between Charlie Sheen and Ron Paul? Sheen seems to be aware he has a problem.
Compare and contrast:
Mitt pronounces p-o-o-r as "puh-ohr"
Whereas Cain was too po' to be poor.
This is a sick question. Can someone here beat Obama--otherwise I am not interested.
I hate saying it, but Paul is right on that.
FEDERAL RESERVE. I WILL NOT BE DENIED.
Andrew, what unraveling the answer tells us about the universe is that we are all screwed.
Rick trumps Romney, who had a dad, by having BOTH a dad and a mom.
I can't wait to hear how many parents Bachmann had.
tryanmax, no doubt.
By the way, I just want you guys to know I wasn't kidding last week. I am seriously going to write in Paul Ryan on the primary ballot. Just saying.
SOMEONE PLEASE GIVE A REAL ANSWER!!!!!
Ohh... a tragedy!
A single mom.... below poverty.
A job at 13.
A monster in the closet.
We may have a winner, everyone hold your fake-sympathy cards while we verify her answer.
I think we learned in our spacetime discussion that unraveling the key to the universe causes quantum entanglement and a lot of bad science-fiction films, and thereby a Newt Gingrich nomination.
Newt: "I lived near a gas station."
Andrew
// shoots self
I understand poverty better than you. Nah-nah.
Do you guys need me to warm up yet?
Real time doesn't make "pathetic" any less pathetic.
Andrew, was it fatal?
Why do they keep mixing questions?
Did you believe in a mandate for illegal aliens to emit greenhouse Palestinians?
What about high-def? Is pathetic in HD more pathetic?
Sadly, I missed.
You're not denying the fact that you think it would be a good idea for all states to try, when in fact even Massachusetts got screwed over.
I need one of those 3D TVs, where you can almost reach out and touch the pathetic.
That's a great argument Newt, too bad you didn't understand it until May of 2001. Assh*le.
2011, not 2001.
No, but I did believe in a greenhouse for illegal Palestinians to emit alien mandates.
Here's my idea, use the federal government to compel everyone to purchase a copy of Atlas Shrugged.
No, Diane, you cannot switch from liquor to beer.
Let me talk for 10 minutes about the pharmacy I just visited.
Can I borrow some money Congressman Paul for booze?
Andrew, I'm gonna try the razor blades to the wrists thing. Hard to miss with those.
Ok, huge points to sockpuppet Mitt for the answer above! Bravo!
Hey now! "Liquor before beer, you're in the clear!"
Remember kids, it's "down the road" not "across the street."
Does anyone disagree with Ron Paul's answer?
Perry: "I didn't understand his answer, so I'll just start talking."
Whatever, Diane, you can sort it out with your head in the toilet.
Rick has an overhauling Washington plan? Who knew.
Jonah Goldberg on Twitter: "After pharmacy, I swung by hobbyist shop and sniffed some airplane glue. #total coincidence"
Iowa is the healthiest state in the nation?
I'm not touching that with a ten foot swine poker.
T-Rav, I'm glad we're not the only ones who find this whole debate pathetic... even in real time and HD 3D.
I think I'm just going to buy every single medication being advertised, mix them all up, and then gulp them down with a pint of gin. Maybe it'll make everything I've heard tonight more clear.
Donna Brazille-wrong! Second tier candidates did nothing. wrong. wrong. wrong. as.usual.
My favorite side effect is "bad taste."
Does that mean you start wearing a lot of plaid or does it mean aliens won't find you tasty anymore?
Ron Paul exploits women.
No, Iowa is not the healthiest state in the nation. I don't CARE, but it's not.
CrisD, I didn't hear her. I'm getting silly commercials during the breaks. Apparently the same ones T-Rav is getting.
LOTS of drugs.
Andrew, I think it just makes you less picky about finding a mate.
Now Tommy Lee Jones wants my money.
tryanmax, Ah... it's like booze in pill form.
Screw it, maybe I'll vote for the Evil Queen from "Once Upon A Time" instead. At least she can get things done and talks coherently.
If Iowa's the healthiest state, I'll eat a cow. Oh, wait, that's just what we do here.
sorry Brazille said the second tier candidates were great and she is wrong. Also, listening to these dumb lib commenters are all wrong.
400 comments or bust, people!
T-Rav, that chick with the bob is kinda cute. I'd vote for that.
So Diane is retarded, not drunk. Interesting.
"Can't we all just get along?"
Diane is probably taking whatever it is that has the bad taste side effect.
You know, George, I was just wondering why we don't have a bottle of...er, I was wondering why people aren't nice to each other, or something.
Uh, you got crushed in Pennsylvania.
It's hard for a mannequin to not be consistent.
Perry joined Paul's cult?!
Ginnifer Goodwin? Yeah, I could see that. I kinda like her "daughter," though. She used to be on House.
Ron Paul taught me to read.
And I hate that Fred as much as everyone else.
Congressman King, can I have your endorsement?
I believe this is the "kinder gentler" conservative question --the libs are always searching for that. Thanks GHWBush!!! not!
The people of America really want to get this country back on track. Sucks to be them. LOL!
No.
Andrew, you know it was just a matter of time. His (and everyone else's) sanity was too fragile to begin with.
So Ron Paul excited Mitt Romney...
I had to google Ginnifer Goodwin, but yeah.
Newt chooses... himself.
People talk about me all the time but then they never let me come out and play. Why is that?
Andrew, you called it.
Newt panders first... then names himself.
He's now up to 3 people.
Did Newt just say Rick Perry taught him about the 10th Amendment?
What was the original question? I think it's all blended together in my head. Those sedatives must be kicking in...
So, basically the question was, "who would you drag down with you?"
So Paul ducked the question?
Bachmann loves the 6-6-6 plan!
"With the right platitudes, you can say nothing at all!"
Hmmm. Does Bachmann get the Commentarama vote now? On the one hand, she said something nice about Cain; on the other hand...well, ya know.
My soul hurts.
Who said earlier that Bachmann would endorse the 6-6-6 plan?
Eh, I think I just answered my own question.
This was easily the WORST debate so far. I feel like I lost IQ points watching.
What a cluster@#$%. That is my reaction to this "debate."
I assume her "win-win-win" plan sums up what she thought about Cain's 9-9-9 plan.
tryanmax, That was me. This is a women who blasted Cain and his "6-6-6" plan...
and now she's pandering to get his voters.
This debate gave me low T.
Somehow, this commercial for low testosterone seems strangely fitting for the past two hours.
Help us, Fred Thompson! You're our only hope!
Michelle has got to be kidding-did you hear how she pronounce kibbutz?
keeeboots? She is not 999, she is win win win? What?
Oddly, I think the winner was Rick Santorum simply because he looked the least clownish tonight.
And you know how much it pains me to say that.
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