Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Obamacare Means Freedom!

You can take the boy out of San Francisco, but you can’t take San Francisco out of the boy. I look forward all week to the weekly e-mail from my former House Representative, Nancy Pelosi. But as good as those e-mails are, they are carefully vetted and edited for maximum appeal to the left. One thing is better—NANCY LIVE! Whenever I need my dose of crazy, I pray that Nancy will show up.

She never disappoints. On Thursday last, San Fran Nan actually outdid her Obamacare speech in which she said that Congress should pass the bill so they could read it. Now that the act has been on the books for two years, good ol’ Nancy topped it with her pithy analysis of just what Obamacare actually means. I know I’m being lazy, but I’m going to let Nancy’s own words comprise the largest part of this post.

You see, Obamacare isn’t about health care at all. It’s about freedom. Freedom to do just about any damn’ thing. Nancy herself finally read the whole megillah and discovered that it truly is the wonder of the 21st century. Death panels aside, Obamacare has taken up the torch of the Founding Fathers because it allows everyone the freedom to quit his or her job and become a photographer, a writer, a musician, or (verbatim) “whatever.”

Ignore the incoherence, just go with the emotion. “This is what our founders had in mind—ever expanding opportunity for people. You want to be self-employed, if you want to start a business, you want to change jobs, you no longer are prohibited from doing that because you can’t have access to health care, especially because you do not want to put your family at risk.”

Who knew? The Occupy bums would all be titans of industry or playwrights to rival Shakespeare if only they had had Obamacare when they were younger. But their children will be able to fulfill those dreams, all because of the brilliance of a health care act that nobody but Pelosi actually understands. Best of all, Obamacare almost guarantees perfect self-fulfillment for coming generations, since parents can pay for their children’s health insurance until those “children” reach age 26. Nancy should hop on a horse, grab a spear, don a kilt, paint her face blue, and trot around shouting “Freedom!”

Having discovered that brevity is the soul of wit, Nancy goes halfway there by declaring: “How many people in America do you think have a preexisting medical condition? That is, they may have been sick when they were little, or they had cancer and now are cancer free, and isn’t that a celebration? But you always carry that preexisting condition and the discrimination with you—until now. And we cannot let that be rolled back because it affects tens of millions of Americans directly and their families as well, so our whole country.” Whew! I had to listen to that several times before I entirely understood it. Well, maybe I haven’t entirely understood it yet. If I had cancer, but now I’m cancer free, I can write a symphony? Is that it?

Nancy closes by proving that she understands free enterprise from the basics up. Yessir. “We see it as an entrepreneurial bill. A bill that says to someone, if you want to be creative and be a musician or whatever, you can leave your work, focus on your talent, your skill, your passion, your aspiration, because you will have health care. You won’t have been locked.” I wish English were my native tongue so that I could bask in the brilliance of each nuance in Nancy’s speeches. Uh, wait. English is my native tongue. Help!

Why does this all remind me of a very old joke? Patient: “Doctor, after I have the operation will I be able to play the piano?” Doctor: “Absolutely.” Patient: “That’s odd, I never could before.”

32 comments:

Tennessee Jed said...

Hawk - you forget that about an hour and a half after William/Mel waived his kilt in front of the English, he also yelled "freeeeedom" or "Khaaaaaannnnn" one or the other just after having been hung, racked, belly slit open, and intestines pulled out and burned in front of his eyes. I'm not sayin', I'm just sayin' . . . . .

LawHawkRFD said...

Tennessee: I don't know what you're suggesting, but I agree. LOL

BevfromNYC said...

Well, I think she's right...well except for the "if only I had health insurance, I could-a been a condendah" part. She does understand that people have jobs to pay for more than health insurance/care. There's those pesky other bills that keep me at my job like food, rent, ammuni...oops.

And, God forbid, if Obamacare isn't overturned, aren't we still going to have to PAY for insurance? It's not going to be free or did I miss that part of the bill? Cause if that's true, then I'm quitting my job today and joining the circus. I've always wanted to be an acrobat...

LawHawkRFD said...

Totally Off-Topic: To keep everyone sharp, here's a snap quiz: Q: What's better than one bullet train to nowhere? A: Two bullet trains to nowhere. On top of the fiasco of a bullet train proposed to go from Bakerfield to, well, who knows, the Obama administration (with Pelosi's assistance) is earmarking billions of dollars for a train from the middle of the California Mojave desert to Las Vegas. Sooner or later, a few hundred billion taxpayers dollars later, these trains might actually carry a few passengers from a population center to a population center. But I'm not holding my breath. I wonder if the EPA has discovered any endangered species or wetlands in the path of the Mojave Express, and if so, will it say so in the face of White House pressure?

LawHawkRFD said...

Bev: You pay for your own food and rent? Get with the program. Grab your Obamacare, quit your job, follow your dream, and the gummint will provide. Which ring will you be performing in?

BevfromNYC said...

Ah, I've already decided I don't want to join the circus anymore. Maybe I can be a famous ballerina instead...

T-Rav said...

Nancy Pelosi in a kilt. Now there's a scary picture.

rlaWTX said...

not as bad as Reid in one - or either of them out of one!

Bev, go forth and balle-bat or acro-let to your little heart's content...

Hawk, 2 trains are better than a bird in the bush, right?

Jed, kilt-waving is illegal in 32 states. screaming "khaaaaaaaaan" is illegal in the other 25.

LawHawkRFD said...

Bev: And you'll have a free, full-time podiatrist.

LawHawkRFD said...

T-Rav: A picture of Nancy Pelosi is scary, period.

LawHawkRFD said...

tlaWTX: I'm glad to see you know the old adage. LOL

Joel Farnham said...

LawHawk,

Geez, I thought ObamaCare puts a chicken in every pot, a second car in every garage, new computers for the asking and free fill-ups at the local gas station after 10 PM. Was I misled?

T-Rav said...

rla, but are there any states where both are prohibited? Because that's a world I just don't want to live in.

StanH said...

Cool. I’m gonna close my business, fire my employees, after all they won’t need to work either, move to a local park, weave sandals, play my bass, breath in freedom, while crapping in the bushes, kinda like OWS, but I’ll weave sandals, that’ll set me apart. Obviously Nancy didn’t stay away from the Black Acid at Woodstock…sheesh, what a idiot.

CrisD said...

Joel-
I am waiting for my free lunch :)

LOL

LawHawkRFD said...

Joel: You misread the message. It's "a chicken in every garage, along with two families."

LawHawkRFD said...

T-Rav: I don't know which states prohibit both, but it's clear that all 57 states ban one or the other. That's what happens when the people elect a Barack Obama.

LawHawkRFD said...

Stan: Under the Pelosi plan, an employer who does what you suggest is a hero of the people. Why wait for people to wake up to their freedom when you can hand it to them along with their last paycheck?

LawHawkRFD said...

Cris: It was on its way, but the regulators discovered it had 2% too many calories and 1% too much transfat. As soon as they figure out how to remedy the problem, your free lunch will be on its way again. It should only take a couple of months. Stay healthy.

StanH said...

That’s some great advice Lawhawk, I’m ready.

BevfromNYC said...

But, but, but...what happens when everyone decides not to work anymore?? Hmmm.

StanH said...

Bev, we all go hang out.

LawHawkRFD said...

Stan: I know how to make huaraches out of strips of leather and old tire treads. Maybe I'll join you in the park.

LawHawkRFD said...

Bev: Does that matter? Living our dreams is more important than creature comforts and modern conveniences.

LawHawkRFD said...

Stan: If we all do this, the Occupiers will find out who the real 99% are. LOL

StanH said...

I know, the local parks are going to be very crowded…ha.

Wheelbarrows, beer, and sandals, we’ll be rich Lawhawk! Woops, my bad, there I go again, thinking of myself.

LawHawkRFD said...

Stan: Good Lord! I didn't think anyone remembered my wheelbarrows, beer (and bread) takeover. But we'll have to be wearing something on our feet while we're delivering. If we get rich, it isn't our intention, but we will give all our profits to the government to free others to follow their dreams. Eat that, Warren Buffett.

AndrewPrice said...

Is Pelosi still around? Who knew. Obama should hire her as a spokesthing.

LawHawkRFD said...

Andrew: She's like herpes. Even when you don't see her, she still around.

tryanmax said...

More senseless photoplasty: LINK

LawHawkRFD said...

tryanmax: But very funny nonetheless.

LawHawkRFD said...

Today (Wednesday) the government's inarticulate Obamacare attorney actually used Pelosi's argument. My sense is that the Justices were trying hard not to snicker.

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