Sunday, June 7, 2009

Okay, Now How Much Is THIS Costing Me?

I’m just going to make this short and sweet. I have now heard it all. I could deal with the adoring press because the blogosphere can keep up.
And I was miffed when he and the Missus took the “small plane” out for a Saturday date night in New York City at the tune $25,000 to $250,000 depending on to whom you speak, but I will wait until I get a response to my FOIA request to get really miffed. But now I found out Our Dear Leader actually travels with a taste tester:
This has to be a joke. Is he that picky or is he actually afraid that someone could try to poison him? Have other Presidents had taste testers? One of the commenters to the linked article probably has it right – he has a court jester in Joe Biden, so why shouldn’t he have an official court taste tester…


Captain Soapbox said...

Well the man has no taste, or class, or couth, so I'm sure he needed someone to help him out with the little things.

Oh you mean an actual taste tester? Wow,

Unknown said...

Captain: Damn you, you beat me to it.

Barack: Try the mushrooms.

John Keats said...

The last time I heard of a taste-tester of this caliber was Nehemiah, cupbearer to the king in the Bible.

Since Obama's the Messiah, though, I guess it makes sense....

Captain Soapbox said...

Lawhawk I'll be damned for far worse things than being quick on the snark trigger, believe me. LOL

The thing is now I'm actually thinking of the last time a President had a taste tester. I know for a fact that Warren Harding didn't. Big Mistake.

If you are into some of the more wacky conspiracy theories then Harrison, Tyler and Buchanan probably could have used a taste tester as well. But those are just wacky conspiracies. I'll admit I loves me a good conspiracy theory, although I don't believe any of them. Call it a scholarly interest and not a True Believer thing, because I have one of those...what do you call them? Oh yeah brains.

Now Stalin for a fact had a taste tester. With a pretty decent turnover rate too. Not that Stalin had a whole lot of attempted food poisonings, but he was frickin' Josef Stalin, he had people shot for things like blinking "inappropriately" which was more of a causation for having to put a new add in Pravda every week than counterrevolutionaries dropping some hemlock in the Stoli. Andropov and Chernenko probably could have used one, but the thing is after Brezhnev I think the rule was you had to be legally dead before you became the official Chairman of the Communist Party of the Union of Soviet Socialist Republics anyhow. Man I miss typing that whole title out, some days I really do pine for the Cold War you know?

Hitler I'm fairly sure had one as well. But see the thing is, it's really, really hard to poison apple salad and celery. Or so I'm told. So that whole vegan thing probably did help Hitler's longevity out. It's also pretty hard to poison non-alcoholic beverages as well. Or so I'm told. So again, his lifestyle choices were winners for Der Fuhrer when it came to the poisoned food front. The wedding night thing on the other hand, well now that was a problem for the guy.

Mao I'm sure was just happy he wasn't eating his boots after they'd been boiled and softened up after the Long March, so I'm fairly sure he didn't have one. As for Pol Pot, the guy was on house arrest getting Thai takeout all the time, so probably no taste tester there either. But I wouldn't rule out Death by Houseboy, a wacky conspiracy theory just waiting to happen there.

Hmm Castro? I'm pretty sure he died years ago, probably not from poison though because it's really hard to poison a cigar as Alan Dulles found out to his dismay.

Now I know for a fact that Arafat had a taste tester. But the thing is UN free cheese is also very hard to poison. Or so I'm told. So he was okay with his victuals. The Saudis are huge on taste testers now that I think about it, although most Saudi cooking, let alone Yemeni which is also popular in The Kingdom, makes you think it's poisoned already. I'm sure Ahmadinejad and the Iranian Supreme Council have taste testers too, now Iranian food is pretty good mind you, but also hard to poison. Or so I'm told.

So as far as modern times go, except from Obama the only people I can think of that employ taste testers on a regular basis are certain eastern potentates. Hmm, coincidence?

AndrewPrice said...

Come on folks, you can't seriously tell me that you think he doesn't need a food taster? Look at his friends:

1. Hillary Clinton and Nancy Pelosi are like a rogue's gallery of potential poisoners.

2. Joe Biden? Slow Joe is a walking sit-com, and if there is rat poison in the White House kitchen, he'll find someway to put it your cereal bowl while the laugh track grinds away.

3. Barney Frank. . . need I say more? Don't eat the mayo.

4. Geithner is suicidal and incompetent. Bad combo for people around you.

5. Harry Reid, silent but deadly.

6. Rahm Emanuel, can you say coup?

And that's just the first few. There are a few hundred million more to consider. Frankly, I'm surprised he hasn't already lost a couple tasters.

BevfromNYC said...

Well, I can just say that if a restaurant actually poisoned the President of the United States, it probably would lose a few Michelin stars...but Andrew, you do have some good points.

Law - I always thought if Hitler had eaten red meat every once in a while, maybe he wouldn't have been so blood thirsty.

Writer X said...

I'm all for it, as long as "Don't Mess with Joe" Biden is the taste tester. He already serves as court jester. It shouldn't be too much of a stretch.

Captain Soapbox said...

Joe Biden only eats construction paper paste, so I don't think he'd be a very good taste tester...

patti said...

look, if he wasn't king i'd have big issues with this.

SQT said...

Taste testers are all the fashion among dictators. Obama didn't want to be cast out of the "in" crowd.

BevfromNYC said...

On the bright side, it could create a whole new industry - Taste-testers and Taste-tester related fields and specialties. Pretty soon every well appointed celebrity will have to have their own. See, and you thought Obama couldn't do it, but he created 600,000 new jobs just being an elitist snob!

Captain Soapbox said...

I'm sure soon he'll be having the Marines bow down to make steps of their backs for him as he alights from Marine One, wouldn't want to get the loafers all grass stained now would you?

Soon after that he'll bring back the time honored tradition of the bucket bearing Piss Boy at the White House. I mean who wants to have to leave one of the swinging cocktail parties to take care of such mundane matters?

Obama: It's good to be the king.

Brisco County said...

I wish he had some kind of a taste consultant around when he picked out the Egg of Power.

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