Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Mad-Lib Obama Style

We probably shouldn’t admit this, but someone in the White House sent us an audio recording of our young President going about his daily routine. We thought we’d share the transcript with you.

[Obama’s Voice]

Where did I put that troop plan? There it is. . . no, that’s not it. Oh here it is. . . no this isn’t it either. Must have left it in Copenhagen.

Hey, what’s this? A ‘Mad-Lib.’ I remember these from my youth. We used to do these in the madrassas between prayers. I wonder how this got here? Oh well, never turn down a lucky find, or a Nobel Prize! *chuckles*

Let’s see, how does this work again? ‘Read the clues and insert words, then flip the page and read the finished product.’ Great, I. . . uh, I’m great at reading.

Ok, the first one. Name someone with whom you disagree? Those. . . who. . . oppose. . . Wait! *scratching noise* I’ve got a better one: Pe. . .losi.

Name something people cherish? Healthcare. That seems important to people.

A body part. Heh heh. . . a butt.

Another body part. Brain.

Let’s see, something you say when you’re upset. Screw you.

Oh man there are a lot of these. Heart, brain, sewage, flatulence. If I’d known it took this much work, I wouldn’t have started. Something long? Let’s keep to the theme -- stool sample. No, better just put ‘stool’. . . just in case this ends up in the Presidential archives like that damn coloring book. Ok, just a few more. Drunk, socks, gunk.

Enough. Time to read. Ok. . . Man, that’s hard to read. It might be easier to read on the old teleprompter.

*clicking noise*

That’s better. Let’s see. . .

All the Whos down in Whoville liked Healthcare a lot,
But the Pelosi, who lived just west of Whoville, did not.
*chuckles* Isn’t that the truth?!
The Pelosi hated healthcare, all without reason.
Oh, please don’t ask why, there’s no reason you would believe in.
It could be, perhaps, that her shoes were too tight.
Or maybe her butt wasn’t screwed on just right.
But I think that the best reason of all
May have been that her brain was two sizes too small.
*chuckles* Really nailed her!

Think I’ll skip ahead. . . took away health care. . . taxed the Whos. . . yada yada yada. Here we go.
They're finding out now that no Healthcare is coming.
They're just waking up, I know just what they'll do.
Their mouths will hang open a minute or two,
Then the Whos down in Whoville will all cry, "Screw you!"
This is amazing. It’s like this book can tell the future! I should get Rahm to read this when he gets back from having his rear end waxed.
You're a monster, Ms. Pelosi.
Your heart's an empty hole.
Your brain is full of sewage.
You've got flatulence in your soul.
Ms. Pelosi. I wouldn't touch you, with a...thirty-nine-and-a-half foot stool.
*chuckles* All that college stuff finally pays off!
You're a foul one, Ms. Pelosi.
You're a nasty, wasty drunk.
Your heart is full of unwashed socks.
Your soul is full of gunk.
And she’s got a lot of junk in the trunk, magic book!

[Outside voices]

Oh shoot, someone’s coming, better look busy. Ah, yeah, I think 30,000 more troops should be good. That’ll show those Romanians who’s boss. Who says I can't make a decision?!

That’s where the tape cut out. We don’t quite know what to make of it yet, but if we reach any conclusions (or if we invade Romania), we’ll let you know.


CrispyRice said...


How do you come up with this stuff, Andrew?!

AndrewPrice said...

I just open the mail! ;-)

ArmChairGeneral said...

He probably did like me and wrote the song first and then said "hey this would be cool!".

LawHawkSF said...

Andrew: Thanks. I needed a good laugh while I'm contemplating the Obamacare vote on Christmas Eve.

Obama should give Mad-Libs out to the heads of state as Christmas presents. True poetry can come from the strangest sources.

Writer X said...

Dr. Seuss is spinning in his grave...

Hilarious. Thanks for the laugh.

AndrewPrice said...

You're welcome Writer X, I suspect a great many people are spinning in their graves right now. That must be what's causing the planet to heat up?

AndrewPrice said...

Lawhawk, I get the feeling that his legislation is all Mad-Libs. . . which is somehow appropriate.

AndrewPrice said...

ACG, Like I said, I just open the mail. ;-)

StanH said...

That was funny Andrew. Though it may be a bit high brow for our Barry?

ArmChairGeneral said...

Good stuff thanks Andrew! You will be happy to know I spread it to my facebook account.

Individualist said...

You know something Andrew. This whole Romania thing is no laughing matter. We all know that the only reason Obama and the Military Industrial Complex are planning to invade Romania is for the Lettuce.

We don't even need the Romaine Lettuce that much anyways.

No Blood for Lettuce, I need to get four other people to join me in a protest outside of the Dairy Queen in Bunnell on I-95 and like Cindy Sheehan we shall surely be teleported into the national spotlight. ...... Wait! Romaine lettuce does not reall come from Romania... h Nevermind!

AndrewPrice said...

Individualist, LOL! You probably would get some publicity if you staged your protest! Make sure your DVR is recording if you do, I would love to see the news that night. :-)

AndrewPrice said...

Thanks ACG, the more the merrier! :-)

Stan -- Could be. Barry's not the brightest bulb, that's for sure.

Tennessee Jed said...

a fine effort, Andrew.

AndrewPrice said...

Thanks Jed, glad you enjoyed it.

MegaTroll said...

I can totally see this, especially him leaving the battleplans in Copenhagen. he probably handed them to Chavez.

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