The Weekly Bidenism Obamaism

This week, Lying Joe Biden's been busy plying his craft in Louisiana, where he lied about the number of jobs created in the state -- "in Louisiana there’s 400 people a day losing their jobs". . . Louisiana was the only state to see job growth last month in Obama's economic wasteland -- and he blamed those Biden-fabricated job losses on Governor "Jin-dell": "Governor Jindell. . . what’s he doing?" That's "Jindal." Still, we should excuse Joe because "Jindell" is as close to "Jindal" as we can expect from a man who hates Indians, and truth is hardly Joe’s strong suit. So let’s talk about Obama instead on today’s very special The Weekly Bidenism. . .

Obama. What can we say about Obama? According to the left, their lord and savior Obama is the smartest man to ever occupy the White House. If that’s true, then it’s time we burned the place to the ground. But I don't think it's true, so hold those torches.

For example, smart people generally don’t have problems remembering key details about their lives. Obama does. Like when he forget his own religion during a September 2008 interview with ABC news:

"What I was suggesting -- you're absolutely right that John McCain has not talked about my Muslim faith . . ."

Of course, it’s hard to blame Obama for not knowing much about his faith as he apparently never listened to a word his Pastor Jeremiah Wright said. . . at least, he didn’t listen to Wright’s repeated anti-American or anti-Semitic comments. Otherwise, he assures us, he "wouldn't have felt as comfortable staying at the church." So maybe that's not proof of anything.

But then he did forget on July 23, 2008 that he wasn’t on the Senate Banking Committee:

"Just this past week, we passed out of the out of the U.S. Senate Banking Committee -- which is my committee -- a bill to call for divestment from Iran as way of ratcheting up the pressure to ensure that they don't obtain a nuclear weapon."

Most people remember where they work. He also forgot the details of how he met his wife, claiming to meet her “in class” when she had already graduated before he even arrived. Hmm.

But we want to be fair. So while maybe he can't remember big, unforgettable details about his private life, we must admit that he's shown himself to be a master of detail in other areas. . . except for the time he did slightly over-estimate the number of people killed by a tornado in Kansas:

"In case you missed it, this week, there was a tragedy in Kansas. Ten thousand people died -- an entire town destroyed."

In reality, twelve people were killed. And, I guess, everyone’s heard his claim about having visited “57 states -- I think one left to go.” But, in his defense, knowing how many states there are isn't one of those things they teach you. Just like nobody knows what they speak in Austria:

"It was also interesting to see that political interaction in Europe is not that different from the United States Senate. There's a lot of -- I don't know what the term is in Austrian, wheeling and dealing."

Actually, it’s called “German” genius. . . deutsch for the initiated. You know, this has shades of Dan Quayle’s famous comment about brushing up on his Latin before heading to Latin America, and we all know how stupid the left claimed that made him! Maybe they’re long lost brothers?

At least Obama makes up for his lack of knowledge about facts with his sensitivity, with his compassion, with he knowing how to say the right things at the right time. For example, who can forget his first speech after the Fort Hood terrorism attack. After spending several minutes playing around with the assembled press, he gave a special “shout out”:

"I hear that Dr. Joe Medicine Crow was around, and so I wanted to give a shout out to that Congressional Medal of Honor winner."

Of course, Dr. Medicine Crow is not a Medal of Honor recipient, and it probably wasn’t a good idea to start a press conference right after a national tragedy by acting like a clown before discussing the murder of American troops. "Hooo hoo hey kids! Guess what happened today! Honk honk."

Ok, so maybe he's not that sensitive, but he can be suave, like when he told a female reporter from ABC’s Detroit affiliate: “Hold on one second, sweetie, we're going to do -- we'll do a press avail.” Or when he angrily told a reporter who asked him a foreign policy question during a visit to a diner in Pennsylvania: “Why can't I just eat my waffle?”

Hmmm. Now that I think about it, he did slander his own grandmother. . . not to mention "typical whites":

"The point I was making was not that Grandmother harbors any racial animosity. She doesn't. But she is a typical white person, who, if she sees somebody on the street that she doesn't know, you know, there's a reaction that's been bred in our experiences that don't go away and that sometimes come out in the wrong way, and that's just the nature of race in our society."

And he did call out his kid for her bad grades. . . “teachable moment”? Yes, but what lesson Mr. President? Of course, he slandered middle America too:

"It's not surprising, then, they get bitter, they cling to guns or religion or antipathy to people who aren't like them or anti-immigrant sentiment or anti-trade sentiment as a way to explain their frustrations."

He also slandered Nancy Reagan at his first press conference:

"I didn't want to get into a Nancy Reagan thing about doing any séances."

But at least he never made fun of the Special Olympics. . . at least until he appeared on The Tonight Show in March 2009:

"No, no. I have been practicing. . . I bowled a 129. It's like -- it was like Special Olympics, or something."

But he has always been a gentleman to Hillary, like when he told her: "You're likeable enough, Hillary." I understand she swooned upon hearing that.

Hmm. Maybe he’s not as “articulate and bright and clean” as some people think? Maybe he’s not a “storybook” after all? Or maybe he’s just not the story some people thought? Cinderfella. . . no, The Pied Piper. . . perhaps.

In any event, we leave you with this interesting revelation. . . something you didn’t know about your President. . . he can see dead people:

"On this Memorial Day, as our nation honors its unbroken line of fallen heroes -- and I see many of them in the audience here today -- our sense of patriotism is particularly strong."

Good grief.