They're Not Going to Hock Illinois--For Now

Several of the Illinois political races are still up in the air, but Illinois is Illinois, so it's not going to be as simple as who wins. Aside from the Democrat winner whose family bank is going bust and is under federal investigation, the pawnbroker who won the Democrat slot for Lieutenant Governor has quit--during the Super Bowl halftime on Sunday.

Scott Lee Cohen fooled the pundits, and took the Democratic nomination for the number two position in Illinois state government. During his campaign, Cohen had stated that an earlier domestic battery charge against him had been dismissed. Forgive and forget, right? Well, within minutes of his getting the nomination, it was revealed that the girlfriend who filed the charges was also a prostitute, and that the charges of Cohen holding a knife to her throat were dismissed because she was afraid to show up in court for the hearing on the charges. Quickly, more news showed up. Cohen also admitted to use of unprescribed steroids, and failed to pay child support at the same time he was pumping $2 million dollars into his own campaign.

Sounds like a typical Illinois politician to me, but apparently it was too much even for the Democrats who want desperately to elect their somewhat-cleaner gubernatorial candidate, Pat Quinn. This follows the statement of the spokesman for Illinois House Speaker Michael Madigan (who is also the state Democratic chairman) that the Speaker had asked Cohen to remove himself from the ticket. Cohen quickly complied, issuing a statement that he didn't "want to put the people of Illinois in jeopardy in any way. For the good of the people of the state of Illinois and for the Democratic Party, I will resign."

Cohen had at first refuted the criticisms, and called the allegations against him "overblown" while claiming he had been "transparent" in his disclosure of his past bad acts. We all know what transparency means for the friends of Obama in Illinois. It means "throw up a smoke-screen and pretend that you were fully honest about your past." It worked for the president, didn't it? He at first refused to consider resignation. Still, by Super Bowl weekend, the pressure from his fellow Democrats was becoming very serious.

So what happens now? Remember, this is Illinois we're talking about. No special election here. Even the common practice in other states for the gubernatorial candidate to tap a running-mate, who is then routinely approved by the appropriate authorities, is unavailable in Illinois. Using byzantine machine-politics procedures, the choice will now go to the thirty-eight member Democratic State Central Committee, which is comprised of one male and one female representative from each of the nineteen Congressional districts. So the committee that will determine who the state's lieutenant governor candidate will be is based on federal districts populated by representatives who must be rigidly one man, one woman.

Make note of the fact that the Central Committee is under no obligation whatsoever to choose one of the other candidates who lost to Cohen. Nevertheless, the Speaker's boy, State Representative Art Turner, came in second to Cohen, so he's a likely nominee. The Republican State Committee faced a similar decision in 2004, when their senatorial candidate, Jack Ryan, resigned from the nomination under the cloud of raunchy charges against him in his divorce proceedings. The Republicans took too much time to make the decision, and though there were several solid state candidates, they instead chose controversial candidate Alan Keyes, who lost handily to one Barack Obama. I remind you of the old saying that a camel is a horse put together by a committee.

Meanwhile Quinn, the Democratic governor who replaced scandal-ridden Rod Blagojevich, has at least the advantage of incumbency, but still drags the Blagojevich fiasco in his wake. Turner has stated that he is the best candidate to replace Cohen, but modestly states: "My second-place finish should not automatically give me the spot." Did you check that out with the Speaker, Mr. Turner? Republican insiders say that they are set to tie Quinn and the entire Democratic machine to the miserable conditions that are Illinois politics, and Turner would give them even more leverage. If you know Chicago politics more particularly, you'll know that Cohen was the candidate from the northside, where Turner and Speaker Madigan are south side. Although they usually link arms for a general election, this primary was bitter. Obama, by the way, is from the south side contingent, but easily got the north side's support.

The official announcement from Speaker Madigan's office says "The Speaker is prepared to work with the members of the [Democratic] Central Committee, Gov. Quinn and Senate President John Cullerton to work on selecting a replacement. We'll start with members of the Central Committee and work on ideas." I'll bet you will. Have you ever heard of John Cullerton. No? Well either has pretty much anyone else. This decision will be made by Madigan, probably with the assistance of Chicago Mayor Richard Daley. And the committee will accept the candidate--or else.

In keeping with the traditions of Chicago Democratic politics, Cohen announced his resignation at one of the largest pubs in the city, but did so from a private room set aside for honchos. The announcement was shown to the peasants at the pub on widescreen TVs located at strategic locations around the bar. Reactions among the patrons ranged from "who?" to "when does the second half start?"