Barack--Meet Your Primary Opponent

Say hello to Alvin Greene, former candidate for the United States Senate from South Carolina, current candidate for the South Carolina House of Representatives, and future candidate for President. He should be a formidable opponent, and his qualifications rival those of the former Junior Senator from Illinois.

To start with, Mr. Greene has absolutely no experience running anything. His BA in political science is easily as valuable as Mr. Obama's alleged degrees from Columbia and Harvard, and at least Greene's academic achievements are public record. People at his alma mater, the University of South Carolina, actually recognize his name and remember him from being in classes with him. Those at Columbia and Harvard, not so much.

After graduating from college, Mr. Greene followed Mr. Obama and went into the caring industry. Obama cared for ACORN volunteers and community organizers, where Greene's profession is in-home caregiver for his father. With that kind of background, it is hard to see a dime's worth of difference in the qualifications of both candidates for running the largest economy in the world.

No sense belaboring the obvious--they're both Democrats. Neither resembles the previous Presidents on our paper currency. Both suddenly sprang onto the major political scene by having the same type of name-recognition, which is to say, "who the hell is that?" Both won Senatorial nominations when nobody could find anybody who had ever heard of them. Nobody could figure out in either case where the money came from to run for such a lofty office. Neither had any real qualifications for a Senatorial seat, so both got the Democratic nomination.

During his care-giving days, Obama sent out criminals to solicit votes. Greene has gone him one better by being charged with a crime--showing pornographic pictures to an eighteen-year old college student. This all seems perfectly normal to me. What else would a Harvard grad from the South Side of Chicago do? And what could be more normal that showing obscene pictures to a college girl? That makes them both All-American men.

Obama won his Senatorial election because the Republican Party in Illinois died. Greene is running for the S.C. House because the incumbent died. Both have therefore learned how to overcome tragedy. Now there is one minor difference in that Greene was born in the United States where Obama was apparently born in several different places, only one of which is in the United States (or its territories). Both men are young for a potential President. Obama was forty-seven when first elected, whereas Greene would be thirty-five if elected (the minimum age for a President).

Both were groomed for politics, and Greene has a specific memory of one of the high points of his childhood. "I followed politics as a child. I remember when Jesse Jackson ran for President when I was nine years old. He's a South Carolinian native. I made a campaign sign out of construction paper and put it out on the highway so folks could see it as they passed by." Green's money politics are a little leaner than Obama's were (there's not as much concentrated wealth and as many suckers for plucking in all of South Carolina as there are in Chicago alone). His youthful experience will serve Greene well, since it's likely he'll have to repeat his construction paper campaign on a slightly larger scale.

Both have honorable military careers. Greene served as an intelligence specialist in the United States Army, the Air Force, and the National Guard. Obama was an officer in the ACORN army, and served as an intelligence adviser to the Tides Foundation. Greene's "honorable but involuntary discharge" from the Army is almost as mysterious as Obama's editing of the Harvard Law Review.

Upon receiving the Democratic Senatorial nomination by a surprising 59%, the Democratic Party chairwoman Carol Fowler said she had not seen Greene since he filed to run. The County Democratic chairman told local newspapers that local party leaders had not met Greene, that he had not attended any local Democratic events, and had not responded to any invitations to local party meetings. The Illinois Democrats were more succinct about Obama--"He must have been active in the Party, he won the nomination, didn't he?"

Greene was the first African-American to be nominated for the U. S. Senate by a major party in South Carolina. Obama was the first African-American (sort of) Senatorial candidate in Illinois to win the Senatorial nomination without anyone outside of the South Side precincts of Chicago ever having heard of him. It is more likely that Obama is entitled to use the expression "African-American" by virtue of one of his birthplaces than Greene who is clearly an American-American (or perhaps even a Native American).

So as you can see, Obama has more to worry about than who his Republican opponent might be in 2012. He has stiff competition within his own party. Personally, I wish Alvin Greene the very best of luck. At least he doesn't remind me of a robot.