Friday, December 31, 2010

Happy New Year!!

With the New Year upon us tonight, and the booze already flowing freely in the Commentarama e-ballroom, it’s time to take a couple more days off. So we’re going away until Monday morning. But first, let me leave you with some predictions for the coming year. Magic 8 ball says.....

Prediction No. 1: Obama Resigns!. . . from golf club. Why pay for it when you get it for free from the taxpayers?

Prediction No. 2: Biden walks out of the VP mansion in his underwear, holding a goldfish and a bowling ball and is never seen again. Conspiracy theories abound.

Prediction No. 3: Hillary Clinton exposed (eww). . . as a Republican operative. Gets deported to Republica, f/k/a South Dakota.

Prediction No. 4: CNN folds. No film at 11:00.

Prediction No. 5: Royal Marriage disrupted, as police wrestle a man wearing only underwear and carrying a bowling ball and a goldfish to the ground as he tries to greet the happy couple during the ceremony. Elton John writes a song about this, called “Little Weenie”.

Prediction No. 6: Commentarama wins a Pulitzer for series of articles exposing the Biden Conspiracy and showing conclusively where "the fuzzy thong" came from.

Prediction No. 7: Nancy Pelosi banned from commercial flights after being forcibly removed from four commercial flights in one week for biting stewardesses. . . on the butt.

Prediction No. 8: Michelle Obama wonders aloud at cake shop why homeless don’t just move into hotels.

Prediction No. 9: Hitler found living with Elvis in Cuba.

Prediction No. 10: The world ends. . . the Mayans were right.

Feel free to add your own predictions, or some resolutions if that’s your thing, or just talk about whatever’s on your minds! Just make it quick. . . see No. 10.

Happy New Year everyone!


35 comments:

Joe Biden, VP said...

Goldfish are a great source of knowledge. They know things.

T_Rav said...

Joe Biden, VP: They are also very clean and articulate.

LawHawkRFD said...

Barbara Boxer insults one general too many. He pulls out a gun, and plugs her between the eyes. The general is arrested for attempted murder, but is found not guilty by a jury which determines the attempt was justified. Boxer recovers quickly, since there is nothing behind her eyes to be damaged.

AndrewPrice said...

T_Rav, LOL! I do believe I heard Harry Reid say similar things about other politicians!

AndrewPrice said...

Lawhawk, You had to go an add a sad ending to an otherwise great story, didn't you? You must be a pessimist.

T_Rav said...

But don't worry, Andrew, that doesn't mean he's racist or anything. That's only the GOP, even though they've never said anything about it.

LawHawk, it's really odd that you would bring that story up today. To see what I mean, bump over to the "Today's Open Thread" on BH and check out the conversation I had with one of our regulars from New Mexico. Long story, but bottom line, poor guy spent nearly two months in jail for shooting a home invader. Be a while before he's ready to talk to the media about this, but it's an unbelievable story.

AndrewPrice said...

T_Rav, It goes without saying that only Republicans can be racists because we all know that Democrats had good intentions when they supported slavery and then Jim Crow and when they push welfare policies that have destroyed black families and when they stand in the way of education reform that could help blacks and when their ideological founder (Jackson) drove out those pesky Indians. Yep. Not racist at all.

BUT the Republicans.... why, we know what evil racism lurks in their hearts.

So the next time you hear a group of liberals tell racist jokes as many of the liberal I know love to do, just relax and feel free to laugh... they aren't racists. Just don't repeat it, because that would be racism.

BevfromNYC said...

I predict that THIS will be the year that the Earth will begin to heal and oceans will recede. No really. Starting Jan 4th a new sun will rise over Washington.

Happy New Year everyone!

Joe Biden's goldfish Frank N. Honest said...

What we know is that Joe doesn't know anything...

Writer X said...

Wait. Hasn't Biden already been found in his underwear, holding a goldfish bowl?! Multiple times?! Or was that Barney Franks?

These are hilarious! Thanks for the chuckle. And thanks for another great year, Andrew and Lawhawk.

Happy New Year, all!

AndrewPrice said...

Happy New Year Bev!

The earth might heal itself (in fact, it seems to do that all the time), but will environmentalists recognize that fact? And will they be willing to admit it?

AndrewPrice said...

Writer X, I believe that was Barney Frank, though I don't think it was his own underwear. ;-)

Thanks! And Happy New Year to you too!

AndrewPrice said...

Joe's Goldfish, you are the TOTUS of the VP world... you are the GoFishVPUS! :-)

T_Rav said...

I predict that this year, we will discover that we are the ones we have been waiting for, and that we will have the audacity to hope again. Since I'm leaving for a party shortly, Happy New Year everyone!

AndrewPrice said...

T_Rav, Nice prediction. It sounds more likely than the last time it was made! LOL!

Enjoy your party! Happy New Year!

GoFishVPUS (f/n/a Joe Biden's Goldfish) said...

GoFishVPUS! I like it, but sadly it is too complicated for Sir Gaffe-a-lot. Too many syllables.

"Fishy" is about all he can handle.

patti said...

#10! of course! suddenly it's crystal clear why the dems are spending like there's no tomorrow...

patti said...

Happy New Year!

AndrewPrice said...

Patti, Yep. Only for the Democrats, the world ended in November. They're in that whole post-apocalyptic phase now where Republicans chase them through the desert, like in Road Warrior. Vrrrrrrrooooooommmmm!

Happy New Year!

Ed said...

Happy New Year everyone! So far so good on the Mayans! Lol!

ScottDS said...

Happy New Year! 2011... only four more years before we get hoverboards and Nike auto-lacing sneakers!

I just got back from a nice vacation in Florida. My grandfather's in the hospital but, other than that, I had a great time. A girl I know from high school recently broke up with her long-term boyfriend, yada yada yada, best vacation ever. ;-)

I also got a bunch of film score albums which I managed to get diverted to Florida since God only knows where they would've ended up, what with the blizzard and all.

My best to you all and yours.

AndrewPrice said...

Ed, Yep, the Mayans are still wrong... but for how much longer??

AndrewPrice said...

Scott, So you spent your holiday breaking up happy couples and putting old people into hospitals? Sounds like you had an interesting time. Did you kick any puppies? ;-)

ScottDS said...

No, I didn't. But as a friend of mine said, "So your grandfather's in the hospital? Must've been those VHS tapes your aunt got him!" :-)

Oh by the way, the Red Letter Media guy finally reviewed Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith. It's 100 minutes long in three parts. I think you mentioned you had seen the first two reviews - this one is just as insightful

AndrewPrice said...

Scott, Nice, yeah, must have been the VHS tapes! LOL!

Regarding the Red Letter guy, I just saw a link to it. I had forgotten that he didn't do all three -- I was pretty he had and I'd seen them, but he hadn't. So now he has and I'm planning to watch it tonight after a quick run to the airport. . . and some more Twilight Zone.

Any good predictions or resolutions for the New Year?

ScottDS said...

I don't really do New Years resolutions. All I ask is for a good job that pays half-way decently and to be able to make a few friends. Unfortunately, I don't work with anyone I'd hang out with and improv class is starting to get a bit cliquey.

What about you?

AndrewPrice said...

I don't tend to do resolutions either because I already know what I should be doing and tend to either do it or not -- adding the "resolution" aspect doesn't help.

That said, this year I've got some things I need to force myself to write. . . been tinkering too long. And I should probably get my lazy rear end to a gym or something. . . or at least start driving by one. ;-)

Joel Farnham said...

Happy New Years!! Hope this year starts out well for you guys. :-)

AndrewPrice said...

Thanks Joel, same to you!

BevfromNYC said...

Hey, no offense to Ed or Andrew, but, according to the Mayan calendar, the world does not end until Dec. 23, 2012! We have at the very least another 2 years. Gawhhh, keep up!

BUT the good news is that aliens from the Plaeides are going to save us from the bad aliens from [I'm not quite sure], so it's all good. No worries...I swear. I heard this on Public Access TV in NYC in 1994 at 3am. I mean, the woman that was being interviewed had already had numerous hybrid human/alien babies, so she would know, right?

[boy am I going to feel like fool if it turns out she's right....]

AndrewPrice said...

Bev, Shoot! You're right, it is 2012 -- but I think it's March, not December. I guess I was thinking ahead to 2012 for some reason. . . cough cough election cough cough.

As for this woman you're talking about it, it does sound like she's privy to some "special" knowledge. So who knows, maybe she's right? In any event, I'll be cheering for the good aliens over the bad ones. :-)

Tennessee Jed said...

Circumstance caused me to be off line for a couple of days, but I wanted to wish everyone a very happy new year. I trust everyone was able to celebrate in the manner of their choosing . . . catch y'all on Monday.

AndrewPrice said...

Happy New Year Jed!

I assume you were participating in a riot to protest the Tennessee loss to NC?

USArtguy said...

Happy New Year one and all!

AndrewPrice said...

Happy New Year USArtguy! Let's hope for a good 2011 all around!

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