Wednesday, April 20, 2011

And Yet, I'm Alive. . .

Thank God I’m alive. I had no idea what for a dangerous life I’ve lived until busybodies started telling me. How could the adults in my life have been so careless. . . I should sue someone.

What am I talking about? Well, let me go down the list. I owned a car without seat belts. Yep, a 1961 Ford Falcon. Sure, it took 20 minutes to get to 60 mph, but its dashboard was pure steel baby. Want more? I never had a helmet for my bike. I even had three serious falls, two on my head. I’m still not sure how I lived through that. More? Ok, I played dodgeball, wiffleball, kickball and red rover. I even had flammable pajamas and toys I could fit into my mouth all the way through high school! No, I’m not some sort of daredevil, I’m just an innocent victim. Sniff sniff.

Ok, enough of this crap. I am truly sick of the modern thinking that kids need to be bubble wrapped. Seriously, W.... T.... F....?!

When I was kid, we still enjoyed a good deal of freedom vis-à-vis the world. But not today. Helmet laws make parents criminals if they don’t strap their kids in before putting them to bed. Dodgeball was yanked from schools years ago after it was designated a crime against humanity after some assh~le decided someone could get hurt by that huge soft, rubber ball floating through the air with all the force a flabby nine year old can muster. . . clearly, this was not a physics major.

Recently, New York State “Health Department” losers tried to ban wiffleball, kickball and red rover. Why? Because they’re “dangerous.” Seriously? Have you ever seen a mobster use a red rover technique to do anyone in? "Hey, red rover, send Jimmy the Weasel over." And do you know how hard it is to hurt someone with a wifflebat? Trust me, you can beat for hours without breaking the skin! Stick with aluminum bats, they're easier and nothing satisfies quite like that great ringing sound.

This is ridiculous. When I was a kid, people understood that slamming into things and falling from moving vehicles was all part of life. Sure, you could get hurt. But serious injuries were incredibly rare, and were well worth the risk of enjoying your childhood. To sort of quote Evel Kneival: “Bones heal, chicks dig scars, pain is temporary and the character you build in childhood is forever.”

These days, it seems that any time you engage in any activity that involves motion or touching, some whiny, failed parent is out there screaming how their kid is too delicate to endure the horror that they might end up with a skinned knee or hurt feelings. Pathetic. How can kids possibly grow up to handle anything if “parents” try to put them into bubble wrap to keep away the insidious forces of gravity, friction and childhood?

And if you are one of these people who is growing one of these delicate creatures, note I did not say “raising,” all you are producing is an effete victim-in-waiting. Congratulations. You have failed as a parent.

What's even worse, did you hear about the 10 year old kid who was arrested because he found a broken BB gun on school grounds and dared to play with it? Yep. Arrested, taken away in cuffs, spent 2 days locked up, appeared in court shackled, and was charged with a felony. Now school officials are trying to expel him. . . at least it wasn't a dodgeball, these dipsh~ts probably would have tried to hang him. The principal, the arresting officer, and the prosecutor seriously should all lose their jobs or worse.

Maybe we need a gulag for idiots?

49 comments:

Tennessee Jed said...

Two serious falls on the head, Andrew? So that explains it . . . . ;-)

Teresa said...

Political correctness run amok...

I never knew that I was in danger when I played those type of active games. And, we wonder why there is more obesity among kids today? Heck, they can't have any fun because of the PC crowd.

Anonymous said...

In the 5th grade I was in the hospital for a week with pneumonia and out of school for about a month. When I finally got back to school, my mom asked my teacher to keep me from participating in any sports for a while. While everyone else was out playing softball and kickball, I was stuck in the classroom. Every time the teacher turned her back, I slipped outside and started playing with the others. She must have caught me at least five or six times one day and I know I probably drove her crazy, but she was very nice about it.

If they had tried to ban kickball when I was in school, they would have had a serious revolt on their hands. This is beyond stupid!

TJ

Tam said...

You're completely wrong on this one, Andrew. You left out the important details. All those games are perfectly safe as long as there is a government agency to regulate and oversee these activities when a group files for "Summer Camp" status, pays their $200 fee, and provides appropriate medical staff to attend to any accidents/injuries. It's only in our own backyards where we don't pay to play that the games are dangerous. Get your facts straight, please.

Writer X said...

I seriously believe that there are lawmakers and officials who won't stop until the entire population becomes totally catatonic.

I read this story yesterday, shaking my head with disbelief. But then I read where: New York. It makes perfect sense.

JG said...

"And yet, I'm alive...." Oh, this makes me laugh, but because I relate it not to formal law, but to social bigotry. I've used this line so many times with my know-it-all 20-something mom friends. Me and my siblings were formula-fed, disposable-diapered, homeschooled, sci-fi indoctrinated, first-person-shooting game players, and even allowed access to soft drinks before we had teeth. My mom even bleached her hair and drank Coke throughout all her pregnancies. And yet....

Try telling a 20-something mom today that you don't think children are permanently damaged by being given formula as infants rather than being breastfed, and see if you aren't treated like a pariah. It's no wonder they then take their crusade to "fix" the rest of the world to legislating the playground.

Di said...

If it makes you feel any better, my 10 year-old boy has spent the past several days either building, out of legoes, a shotgun with moving parts, or running around my town, who knows where, with other boys and their BB guns having wars in the forests and bushes. All I know is he comes home muddy - sometimes in time for dinner. I'm hoping he'll grow up to be a man.

BevfromNYC said...

Hey! Don't be criticizing New York because we want to save the children! Think of the chiiiillllddddreeeennnnn! Obviously WE care and you don't. That's why WE got a space shuttle and YOU didn't!

Ugh. These are the same people who do not find anything the least bit wrong with allowing children to play THE most violent videogames imaginable because it can't possibly harm them! They are right I guess. They won't be physically harmed unless the computer blows up. But how do you learn "pain" until you have really experienced it by...say skinning both elbows and knees falling off your bicycle or playing kickball. And how many children who were targets in Dodgeball have grown up to be the captains of industry? Being humiliated can do wonders for creating backbone.

LL said...

Ah the progressive agenda. It's part of the cradle to grave 'government umbrella' (equal outcome) philosophy that drives the socialist republic. Nobody is allowed to do anything that the progressives don't like. Speech is restricted based on some sort of arbitrary and changing notion of political correctness that's very tough to keep up with.

A toddler was at my house with her parents recently. She fell off the couch onto the carpeted (and padded) floor. She cried. I said, "Babies bounce." ...and if looks could kill... I said, if babies were injured from falling one foot onto carpet, there would be no human race.

BevfromNYC said...

TJ - I was sick during one childhood summer and we went up to the lake for a vacation. My mother forbade me to get in the water, BUT I talked my big brother into carrying me on his back and "accidentally" dropping me, so I could go swimming. He did, I survived and amazingly, my mother didn't punish him or me.

LawHawkRFD said...

Andrew: The most dangerous things kids do today include sitting in front of a computer screen, turning their brains into mush and their butts into steamer trunks. The nanny state needs weak minds and weak bodies. Kids who are not allowed to take any risks end up in one of two categories when they grow up. Sheep for the wolves or the wolves themselves. The sheep are the largest group, most easily dominated by the government. The wolves are the ones who will run the government after proving that they don't abide by rules. Those who "know what's best" want a nation of sissies. Am I allowed to say "sissies?"

I did notice that the New York Health Department announced that the proposed restrictions were from the prior administration and would not be imposed after all. At least until the parents calm down and aren't looking.

T_Rav said...

I honestly can't say much. I am part of this "safety first" generation, so the most pain and danger I've ever been in as a kid is when I would wear sandals, and someone would accidentally step on my foot and crush my toenails. And let me tell you, that HURTS. Oh, and I also put my hand through a glass door once, so it looked like I'd tried to slit my wrists. But that's about it.

patti said...

soon, we'll all be required to wear nothing but bubble-wrap, that is until someone bruises someone else because they can't resist a little fun popping.

then, they'll make sure our gov'ment cheese is spiked with the proper drugs to CALM US DOWN!

ze dangers be everywhere....

The Management (not BevfromNYC) said...

Memo from The Management

In re: Using the word "sissies"

It has come to our attention that there may be a question as to whether it is allowable to use the word "sissies". To answer this question, the Word-Usage Committee will convene at its the earliest convenience to study the matter and render a decision. Until such a decision is decided, please feel free to use the word "sissies" and any derivations of same, including but not limited to "sissy", "sissified", "sissy-pants" etc., until such a time as a decision shall be rendered.

The Management

Euripides said...

I think we all need to stand up and admit the truth - government bureaucrats are bad for your health.

Now about that ban....

AndrewPrice said...

Jed, They were pretty kool let me tell you! :-)

AndrewPrice said...

Teresa, Tell me about it! I recently ran into some people who had been so scared by all of this that they literally drove their kids everywhere and didn't let them do anything for fear that they might get hurt doing anything. It seemed the only approved activity was standing around at safe distances in the backyard.

How is that good for kids? That's not physically healthy, it's not psychologically healthy, and it doesn't help the kids grow as people. Everything I did as a kid -- smart, stupid or otherwise -- taught me lessons. Kids today aren't getting those lessons. Instead, they're being taught that they're too fragile to do anything. That will serve them poorly in the future!

AndrewPrice said...

TJ, I know. How can anyone get hurt by kickball? It's like being hit with a pillow. Sure, if you take a ball directly to the face, you will get a slight sting, but that's very rare and it goes away. Kids heal very quickly.

In terms of sneaking out, I imagine that today the teacher wouldn't have let you out for fear that the lawyers would come trooping in claiming they had injured you. It's very sad.

AndrewPrice said...

Tam, My mistake. I forgot that government observation makes all things safer. . . certainly much safer than a mere summer camp with a medical staff on call. Yep, go government!

AndrewPrice said...

Writer X, I think there are people out there would won't rest until all physical contact and any sport that involves motion are banned. And then they'll turn their attentions to diets, sleeping behaviors, and wrongful thoughts. It's ridiculous. You can regulate out truly unsafe things like teachers letting kids play with fire or knives, but you can't take the life out of life -- and that's exactly what these people are trying to do!

AndrewPrice said...

JG, I believe my mother did all the same things, and I'm pretty sure I turned out ok -- though accounts differ. ;-)

It's stunning isn't it how crazy some people are getting. It's like some sort of paranoid fear has struck the planet and all these people just went insane. Now, all you need to say is the word "risk" and they freak out. In a way, Churchill was right when he said we have nothing to fear but fear itself -- who knew how literal we should have taken that quote?

People need to realize that (1) you can never achieve a risk free world -- that's just not possible, and (2) eliminating risks causes other risks and eliminates rewards. If you stop kids from playing, they get unhealthy. If you stop kids from talking to each other to prevent hurt feelings, you make them incapable of dealing with other humans. If you try to shelter them from every video game, cola, or plastic diaper, you just fill them with paranoia, fear and angst.

And I think you're absolutely right about the public crusades on this. For some reason, the people who are the worst offenders are also the most determined to force their twisted views on everyone else.

AndrewPrice said...

Di, That does make me feel better! :-)

We used to do that as kids all the time. First, Legos are awesome. Secondly, we used to build guns and cars and things like that, and then we went OUT and did things with them -- like chasing each other around. And it was fun and the lessons we learned are still things I think about today. I remember those moments -- I don't remember the moments staring at the television.

AndrewPrice said...

Bev, I wish I could just point at New York and shake my head, but this is going on everywhere. These people are like a giant herd of cowards who have descended upon the country and are trying to stop anything that they deem risky or embarrassing to children.

And no matter how much they want to believe the contrary, the truth is as you say it -- it's in the defeats and the injuries that kids build character. And it's character that gets you through the more difficult moments in life. Without that character, you get "adults" with the characters and judgments of children. And that leads to poor decision making and the inflicting of harm on others.

This is all such a bad idea.

AndrewPrice said...

LL, I'm not sure if this is a purposeful part of the agenda or just a byproduct of people becoming dependent on the government running every part of their lives?

On the "baby falling incident," I was at a co-workers house about 10 years ago and something similar happened. Everyone watched with horror as this baby took a header off someone's lap. It was obviously an accident, but we all assumed the parents would freak out. Yet they didn't. They said they understood that it was an accident and the kid wasn't hurt so there was no harm, no foul. (Apparently, babies are pretty indestructible.) But I couldn't help but wonder how many other people would be screaming and calling their lawyers.

AndrewPrice said...

Bev, So you too have diced with death! LOL!

Don't get me wrong, there are certainly things to be worried about and risks to shield kids from, but not this many.

AndrewPrice said...

Lawhawk, Yeah, I saw that they are rescinding the regulations, but my guess is that it's temporary. If the prior administration got those in place, then someone will try again. Dodgeball went the same way -- first with small step and then suddenly gone everywhere.

In terms of politics, like I said to LL, I don't know if this is an intentional attempt to generate sheep or if this is just the byproduct of creating a culture where people look to the government to tell them how to live their lives? In either event, the effect is the same as many kids today are being turned into victims-in-waiting for the wolves to exploit. That's bad.

AndrewPrice said...

T_Rav, I put my hand through a window as well -- accident, I was pushing open a garage door and my palm slipped off the wood and went right through the window -- 15 stitches. Beyond that, I've had a bunch of injuries including a broken bone, but it all healed.

The point isn't so much to get kids hurt as to let them test their limits and learn to exist in the world around them. Running around with friends and the experiences you have (good and bad) are what make you who you are. If all parents let their kids do is watch television, then how do the kids develop character and the ability to overcome hardship (or enjoy the good times)?

For example, I played football one year in high school and I can tell you that we learned a lot more about ourselves from our first loss than we did from the five wins before that. But today, parents want to take the losses away by taking away the competition parts and not keeping score and not even letting kids try. That's truly sad.

AndrewPrice said...

patti, LOL! yep, a popping-related injury!

Actually, I think bubble wrap when used on humans causes soul cancer.

AndrewPrice said...

Management (Not Bev), I'm glad to hear we can still use the word sissy today. It would stink to have to find a new word with the exact same meaning to replace the word we can no longer say... because you can't kill the meaning, even if you kill the word. :-)

And if we do have to replace "sissy," then I suggest "Obamy."

AndrewPrice said...

Euripides, True. Bureaucrats are the ultimate mindless meddlers. They hear about some possible danger and they impose a solution without a single thought as to how it will affect the world. Grrr.

Anonymous said...

Bev - that was pretty cool that your mom didn't punish you. Come to think of it, I don't recall my mom being too upset with me either. My parents were good friends with my teacher and her husband, so I know she had to have told them. I was such a tomboy in those days that you had to literally tie me down to keep me from being outside and playing my favorite sport, which was kickball at the time.

Andrew - it's very sad indeed. We did have a few hazards where we played kickball though. The worst of which were the sandspurs. Living in a beach area, they were everywhere and you caught the kickball with the knowledge that you could end up with quite a few of them in your hands - LOL!

Yet another reason I'm glad we home school. Our home school group gets together once a week for P.E. and one of the games played is dodgeball.

TJ

AndrewPrice said...

TJ, That's great! Not only that you take the time to teach your own kids, but that you are letting them play dodgeball. I loved dodgeball -- it was truly a lot of fun.

In terms of hazards, don't get me wrong. Some things are dangerous and I think the risks of those need to be addressed. But we've gone so far beyond the point of eliminating hidden dangers that we're now at the point of trying to eliminate any activity with potential risk -- which is any endeavor that involves humans. This needs to stop. We need to get back to a more rational world where people stop trying to shelter kids from mere unpleasantness.

AndrewPrice said...

Bev, P.S. It drives me crazy when people say "what about the children" and "think about the children." That sounds so cliche that it almost seems like no one would really say it, but these people are entirely undeterred. Ugh.

DUQ said...

I love your re-interpretation of the Evel Kneival quote. Well done!

AndrewPrice said...

Thanks DUQ!

StanH said...

When I was a kid, my parental units kicked us out of the house and locked the door, entry only for bathroom and meals, and I was one of three brothers we raised hell, in a good way of course. When I was a small kid in the early ‘60s, on trips I’d ride in the back window sometimes, we’d be tussling and they’d pull over and give us a whipping. In the movie “Demolition Man,” Wesley Snipes said it best, to paraphrase, “the world has become a wussified version of itself.”

AndrewPrice said...

Stan, Good quote from a good movie. Sadly, I think many people would be very happy to see that kind of world.

As for being outside, that's part of being a kid -- getting an appreciation of the world, not just your house.

rlaWTX said...

we at work recently had this conversation (I'm the youngest in late 30s) - TX recenly tightened up the booster seat laws: under 13yo, under 4'10', under 80lb in a booster seat! yeah, those small 12yo's on youth trips are going to LOVE that!!!!! How did we surivive with only the Mom Arm to keep us in the front seat after having to slam on the brakes? My brother was one of those who disappeared every day til the sun went down. I admit that I was more of a homebody (books books books) but I spent a lot of time in the back yard. I also have to admit that I HATED kickball - no coordination. But it didn;t kill me... Loved football, but I am pre Title 9...

As for the idiots arresting the kid - in the little poll 24 people actually said YES!!!!!!!!! People are idiots. I-D-I-O-T-S!!!!

rlaWTX said...

There's a lot of truth in Demolition Man.

AndrewPrice said...

rlaWTX, That story stuns me about the kid with the BB gun, and that anyone would think the authorities acted correctly. That is truly insanity. And head needs to roll to stop these people from doing this again!

Wow, that's some booster law. I'm sure kids will be thrilled. ** rolls eyes **

It really does make you wonder how these people think that we all survived to get to this point? Generations of humans raised their kids doing much, much worse than dodgeball or not buckling kids into booster seats, and yet somehow we have survived to this point.

This is the kind of thing that just drives me crazy, because these people don't get it and won't stop.

BevfromNYC said...

Remember the Eazybake ovens? Mine had a lightbulb that would bake little cakes (that I would force my family to eat, but that's a whole'nuther topic) and really got hot.

My mother used to play with her real working child-size stove for which she could really fry bacon!

My grandfather kept his doublebarrel shotgun in the corner of the kitchen and amazingly everyone (including my mother's boyfriends) lived to tell the tale.

Does anyone remember the Vac-U-Form toy maker? You could make your own little plastic cars by placing a sheet of plastic over a very, very hot mold that would melt down to the shape of the mold. My brothers had a real chemistry set where they could make gunpowder if they wanted!

How did we ever survive? I think I'm gonna sue my parents for child endangerment!

AndrewPrice said...

Bev, It is amazing isn't it? There used to be so many toys that would be completely unacceptable today and yet we lived because we learned very quickly not to do stupid things with them.

I had a friend who had a robot that could shoot plastic darts across the room. Another friend had a chemistry set. I played for years with Legos without ever trying to jam any into my throat. I recall seeing the EazyBake Oven and the Vac-U-Form, though I never had either. (Your family must have been brake to eat baked goods from the Eazybake, wasn't that just a lightbulb?)

Kids aren't stupid and the idea that kids are going to kill themselves by swallowing their toys or blowing themselves up is just silly. Yes, it can happen and I'm sure it has happened to a couple kids -- but compare that to the hundreds of millions of kids who did not die from the very same toys. Once again, everyone is being made to pay the price for the failures of a handful of kids. It's ridiculous.

BevfromNYC said...

Andrew - Yes, you would bake with a lightbulb at close range. It actually got very hot. I took my Eazybake oven everywhere, but it didn't occur to me to ask for more little cake mixes when I ran out of the ones that came with the oven. Years later (by years later I mean a few years ago) it occured to me that it may have been by design that my mother never offered. I realized I must have really tortured them.

Hmm, I hope I don't do that now with my real oven when I make people eat my baked goods?

AndrewPrice said...

Bev, LOL! That's funny that you never thought to ask for more mix. I guess your parents must have been relieved when you ran out!

JG said...

Andrew - that's something another friend of mine pointed out, that the same people labeling obesity as a "crisis" akin to cancer are slowly outlawing normal counterbalances to childhood weight problems. One feeds the other....

And yes, personally, I see this as less of some massive government conspiracy than it is an attack of the do-gooders. I don't think their motives are nefarious....just plain wrong.

AndrewPrice said...

JG, I agree. I don't think this is a conscious conspiracy, I think this is just a bunch of people trying to solve what they think are problems without realizing the harm they are doing with their "solutions" -- i.e. they aren't intentionally trying to hurt anyone, that's just a byproduct.

And excellent related point about them trying to get rid of the very counter-balances needed to fight the obesity crisis.

Of course, that's usually how liberalism or do-gooderism go wrong -- they try to solve problems with quick and easy sledgehammer solutions, like banning something they don't like. But the problem with that is that it causes new problems to appear they didn't expect. Soon they are trying to solve those problems with the same kind of sledgehammer technique, which just causes more problems. And that becomes a vicious circle where every "solution" only seems to make things worse. Soon everything is spinning out of control.

T_Rav said...

Management (not BevinNYC), remind me again. What am I allowed and not allowed to shoot in the face? Because this cat outside my window has been really getting on my nerves...

The Management (definitely NOT BevfromNYC said...

From: The Management
To: T-Rav

RE: Your obsession with shooting kittens in the face

In response to your request for enhanced clarity on our policies regarding kittens and the harm for which you wish to inflict on their faces. It is our on-going policy to protect the innocent, however, to be clear, "cats" are not "kittens". Dearest Miss Kitty being the rare exception because of her eternal kitten-esque joie de vivre. We hope that clears up any confusion.

Thank you for your inquiry.
The Management

AndrewPrice said...

T_Rav, Shoot whatever you want in the face. . . just don't smack anything with a dodgeball.

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