Wednesday, April 27, 2011

The Re-Quotable Obama

There isn’t much in the news in the past couple days. . .

Unless you count the NFL decision, which is meaningless because that’s going to drag on for years until they reach the same settlement they could have reached a couple months ago. And good luck if either side actually wins. I hope someone can dumb down the concept of “pyrrhic victory” to a level that football people can understand.

Of course, there is the Haley Barbour thing. He must have known that I was working on him next. And since he couldn’t take the heat from Commentarama, he decided to drop out of the 2012 race. That changes the race approximately 0.002 iotas.

We also have some silly hacker stealing the personal information of 70 million subscribers to Sony’s PlayStation Network. This is an outrage. Now some Russian syndicate knows the names of 70 million overweight kids. That kind of information could tip the balance of the known universe . . . no pun intended!

And let’s not forget that Obama has a “genius” plan to save us from high gas prices. Yep. He wants to eliminate oil companies’ special tax deductions. While I consider that a good thing for the sake of reforming the tax code, especially if we use this as an opportunity to eliminate all other tax-deduction carve outs, the truth is that this is no way to make gas cheaper. In fact, the idea that Obama thinks a tax hike on a producer will result in lower prices just goes to show us that he is indeed an idiot of Biden-grade proportions.

Anyhoo, with nothing else going on, let’s play a game. You know how Obama likes to pretend to be prior Presidents, right? Well let’s see how Obama might have handled certain famous historical quotes. For example:

FDR said: “We have nothing to fear, but fear itself. . . and elves.”
Obama probably would have said: “We have nothing to fear, but my administration.”

JFK said: “Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country.”
Obama probably would have said: “Ask not what your country can do for you, just be happy it does it and the rich will pay for it.”

Harry Truman said: “If you can't convince them, confuse them.”
Obama probably would have said: “If you can, confuse them. If you can’t, then lie.”

Nixon said: “I am not a crook.”
Obama probably would have said: “I have not yet been prove a crook.”

Carter said: “I've looked on many women with lust. I've committed adultery in my heart many times. God knows I will do this and forgives me.”
Obama probably would have said: “I commit adultery all the time, but I forgive me.”
You get the picture. What’s your take on these quotes? Or on other quotes? Or on the NFL lockout? The draft is tomorrow night you know. . . it’s never to early to get your false hopes up!

35 comments:

DUQ said...

Here's one: "I have not yet begun not to fight for my country."

Or: "I regret that I have but one big lie to use on my country."

AndrewPrice said...

Good ones DUQ. Any hopes that Obama's tax hikes will lead to cheaper gas? LOL!

BevfromNYC said...

"If gas is too high, use public transportation like I do"...oh wait, that is something Bloomberg would say. Well, actually, it's something that Bloomberg DID say.

Since the public pays for Obama's plane, limo, and Marine One, are they considered "public transportation"?

BevfromNYC said...

Oh, did everyone here see that the WH released a longer form birth certificate this morning?

Tam said...

Yes Bev...that must be one impressive fake document, since it took a couple million dollars and 2 1/2 years to get it!

AndrewPrice said...

Bev, Yep, those are indeed public transportation!

Your quote actually works quite nicely because while Obama is singing the virtues of public transportation, he doesn't actually use it -- so we've got the hypocrisy angle down -- and Biden will be out there telling people to avoid public transportation to avoid getting the swine flu -- so we've got the confusion angle.

In fact, that's almost the perfect quote to capture the spirit of this administration! :-)

AndrewPrice said...

Bev, Yes I saw it. And I believe if you hold it up to the light, you will see a seal from Kenya that someone has tried to etch out! LOL!

AndrewPrice said...

Tam, LOL! So true! Maybe the problem was union labor because I'm pretty sure he could have gotten a pretty good fake birth certificate down behind Home Depo. Of course, it might not match his name, but he could say that "Barack Obama" is a nickname.... his supporters would believe that!

AndrewPrice said...

P.S. Did you see his condescending quote: "we do not have time for this silliness."

So proving he's qualified to be President isn't worth his time? Funny, the bar association didn't think it was silly when they asked me for a copy of mine?

Maybe he needs to learn to prioritize. . . play less golf.

patti said...

the birth certificate was green. does that mean it's our new currency?!

patti said...

andrew: as soon as i heard him state that the brouhaha was silliness, i thought the same thing you did. although, he does have bigger fish to fry. it is distracting. gotta get to oprah and stuffs.

AndrewPrice said...

Patti, It's large enough to put all the zeroes on it that we're going to need with all this inflation....

But I suspect the green color has more to do with the ink being fresh! ;-)

AndrewPrice said...

Patti, Great minds and all that! Seriously, what a jerk -- it's "silly" to prove his qualifications? Qualifications that millions of Americans doubt?

I personal don't doubt that he was born here, he's just not much of an American. But in either event, this is the sort of thing you prove by just releasing the document. That's not silly. Silly would be fighting about whether or not he was in the Audio Video Club back when he was at the madras in Indonesia. ;-)

Tennessee Jed said...

noticed the switcheroo of Praetorius and Panetta. One pundit suggests that B.O. sees him as a possible future political rival and this was designed to keep him close. Don't know if that is true, but if so, I sure didn't think about Praetorius that way. Thoughts?

AndrewPrice said...

Jed, I think appointing Petraeus to head the CIA is definitely an attempt to eliminate a rival because a lot of people were talking about Petraeus running against Obama.

I personally don't think that was going to happen and I think it's unlikely Petraeus would have won the nomination, but it definitely eliminates a fairly strong name who could be out there blasting Obama on his military "policies."

It is, in essence, a move right out of the book of Machiavelli.

Of course, now the question becomes: can they work together?

LawHawkRFD said...

Lincoln: With malice toward none, and charity for all . . .

Obama: With malice toward most and government handouts for the rest . . .

Andrew Jackson: Chief Justice Marshall has made his decision, now let him enforce it.

Obama: The Supreme Court has made its decision. Now let me re-write it.

FDR: We will gain the ultimate triumph. So help us God.

Obama: We will muddle on to the ultimate stalemate. So help us Whoever.

AndrewPrice said...

Lawhawk, So help us whoever is right! Or "so help me me."

I like: "We don't want to upset them on the beaches, we don't want to upset them in the fields or the streets, we shall always surrender."

Tennessee Jed said...

I am laughing out loud at my own earlier typo/ brain lapse where I somehow managed to turn General Petraeus into David "Praetorius" an obvious homage to Michael Praetorius, famed 16th century Lutheran composer who is famous for "Dances From Terpsichore" not to mention "Lo How A Rose 'ere Blooming." :D

AndrewPrice said...

Jed, I assumed you were being clever! :-)


So what are your thoughts on why he chose Petraeus?

Kosh said...

The move of Petraeus to CIA was probably so he can keep a closer eye on the Tillman family.

Republicans can take total advantage of Obama wanting to eliminate tax breaks for big oil. Have it packaged with ending all subsides to "green" energy. It will have a small effect on the price of gas--it will increase it.

Without a state seal, I don't see how the new certification of live birth can be considered legititmate.

Ed said...

Man, I'm drawing a blank on quotes. Shoot. I hate feeling stupid.

ScottDS said...

I know you're just having fun but the PS3 hack is serious business. And I'm not just saying that because I'm registered with it! It's how I watch Netflix movies via instant play - over the PS3.

P.S. I sent you an email. Please respond at your leisure. :-)

AndrewPrice said...

Kosh, Come on?! A birth certificate that took two years to find, has no seal and could easily have been printed at Kinkos. . . what's wrong with that?


I agree about the oil and gas stuff. I would like to see the Republicans get bold and propose a serious remake of the entire tax code stripping out a lot of the deductions -- especially those that are trying to subsidize liberalism.

AndrewPrice said...

That's ok Ed. Give it time. Something will come to you! :-)

AndrewPrice said...

Scott, I am just having fun with it. Hacking is bad news and I know the database won't contain things like height weight info, but will include 70-100 million credit cards. What a mess.

(I'm having fun with the birth certificate thing too, I don't think it matters where he's born since the electoral College approved him and that ends the issue.... but I do like tweaking him. :-) )

You have a PS3? I've got a PS2. I never upgraded because it didn't seem worth it. I take it you disagree?

I'll check my e-mail in a bit. I'm trying to finish an article for 4:00 pm and do something for work all at once. Gak.

ScottDS said...

I'm not a gamer. I only bought it because in 2007, it was considered the best Blu-Ray player. :-)

My friends enjoy ribbing me for owning a game system but no games!

Kosh said...

"All we have to fear...is right wing terrorists."

"America does not go abroad in search of monsters to destroy." -John Quincy Adams

Obama - "because we have GOP terrorists right here"

or
"Behind the ostensible government sits enthroned an invisible government owing no allegiance or acknowledging no responsibility to the people." -Theodore Roosevelt

Obama - "shhhh, don't give us away!"

AndrewPrice said...

Scott, You should buy some games! There are a couple out there that will ruin your life. :-)

AndrewPrice said...

Kosh, Highly accurate quotes! I can literally see Obama saying those at a press club dinner. . . and the press would dutifully suppress the quotes.

How about: "The business of the United States is controlling evil business."

Kosh said...

"Facts are stubborn things." -Ronald Reagan

Obama - "Facts? We don't need no stinkin' facts!"

AndrewPrice said...

Facts are indeed stubborn things that we need the strength to ignore! LOL!

T_Rav said...

Obama: "The era of big government has begun."

Actually, if you think about it, the stuff he's actually said is better material than anything we could come up with.

(By the way, what's with the first quote from FDR? Are you and the Boiler Room Elves having a spat or something?)

AndrewPrice said...

T_Rav, You should always fear the Boiler Room Elves. . . they're union thugs after all!

Actually, they're on their way to China for a few weeks. I have no idea what they're planning, but my guess is that something major will happen.

Yeah, Obama does seem to provide a wealth of stupid and horrible quotes! He's no Biden, but he's close.

Ed said...

Ok, I've got one.

"I don't think we're in Chicago anymore." :D

AndrewPrice said...

I don't recall any President saying that! LOL! Still, it fits somehow.

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