Monday, June 6, 2011

Getting Away From Mean Americans

Well, she's been home for a few days, time for Michelle Obama to go off into the wild blue yonder on the taxpayers dime and visit Africa. AP reports that the First Lady is ready to leave Americans who think of her only as the President's wife and head to exotic Africa where they consider her a queen in her own right.

Mrs. Obama's staff is saying that the current agenda is to spend the bulk of the time in Cape Town, South Africa and Gabarone, Botwsana. Quick! How many of you can find Botswana on a world map? How many of you have ever heard of Gabarone? How many of you think it is vitally important for the First Lady to make a mega-expensive trip to Africa while the federal government is wallowing in debt? The trip is scheduled for June 21 through June 26. I'd like to suggest that she just stay there, but how can you have a grand homecoming if you don't come home to announce the unbelievable success of the visit?

But you are forgetting that it's all for the children, the children. Not our children. Somebody else's children. But the trip will be on our children's money. Ostensibly, the purpose of the trip is to "encourage young people to get involved in their societies." Or as Hillary Clinton might put it, "get involved in your village." That's the ticket. "Democracy, democracy. I believe the children are the future. If you get involved, some day the leader of your country might be black, just like my husband." Uh, Michelle, you aren't in Stockholm, you're in Africa.

The spokesman, who insisted on anonymity until the White House makes the official announcement, added that Mrs. Obama's visit will highlight the success of Africa's many nations (which ones, Michelle?) as well as the historic connections between the American people and those who live on the African continent. He (or she) added that President Barack Hussein Obama's father was Kenyan. There are those who think that Obama himself is Kenyan, but that's another story entirely.

So Mrs. Obama wants to tighten the relationship between the sub-Saharan black population (90%) and America's black population (12%). Their experiences are so similar, after all. Well, at least they were a hundred years ago. Somebody forgot to tell Michelle that race is supposed to be unimportant. We are all members of the human race, or so they say. But it is important to relate. After all, where are you going to find more African-Americans than in America? Much like her husband's revelation that America is one of the largest Muslim nations in the world.

I'm quite certain that Michelle is also very concerned about nutrition in Africa. I would like to see the faces of those kids as they're being told that they should eat more brussels sprouts and arugula with their meals. She will also warn them of the evils of McDonald's Happy Meals which will cause them all to become obese, like Americans. Local Kid 1: "What are brussels sprouts?" Local Kid 2: "What is arugula?" Local Kid 3: "What's McDonald's?" Local Kid 4: "What's a meal?"

What difference does it make that this trip will cost megabucks? We can just borrow the money from China. What difference does it make that the trip will throw more pollutants into the air than the Normandy invasion? We can just trade carbon credits with Al Gore. And never lose sight of the fact that above all, this trip is for the children, the children.

49 comments:

Tennessee Jed said...

Laugh ot loud funny, Hawk. A great read even as it infuriates (the mega spending part.) I also always hated how the media goes ga ga over people like Jackie and Michelle while essentially ignoring, say, a Laura Bush.

Anonymous said...

Is it too much to hope that she will just stay there and NOT COME BACK?

TJ

Tam said...

TJ, TJ,TJ...how do you expect to go about your daily business without Lady O telling you what to do and when? Of course she must come back.

LawHawkRFD said...

Tennessee: Well said, and I couldn't agree more. Those First Ladies who are doing genuine good works tend to be quiet and unassuming about it. The Obamas are all show and no substance.

LawHawkRFD said...

TJ: I wish I could say otherwise, but I believe that nothing could stop her from coming back to crow about her great accomplishments and how vital the trip was.

LawHawkRFD said...

Tam: Ditto.

Anonymous said...

Tam and Lawhawk, oh well, one can dream can't one? :)

TJ

LawHawkRFD said...

TOTALLY UNRELATED: Weinergate just got better. Weiner, that nasty, vicious lefist hack just got all teary-eyed admitting specifically and intentionally to doing something that has caused Republicans to resign in shame for far lesser indiscretions. Now we're supposed to believe he is a decent human being who made a simple mistake?!?!

His non-apology apology was bathetic, phony, and deeply-troubling. He should resign after admitting that he intentionally and falsely blamed a hacker for his crotch-shots. He won't, at least not right now. He must have gotten instructions from Barney Frank.

LawHawkRFD said...

TJ: I'd have to take a lot of hallucinogens to have that dream. LOL

patti said...

Local Kid 4: "What's a meal?"

HA!

Sad but true, but hey, she isn't gonna let something like the truth get in her way. as long as she's riding her golden ticket (only 17 more months, god-willing), she's gonna tell THE WORLD what to do.

alert the villagers.

LawHawkRFD said...

Patti: Her truth or our truth? Remember, we're not supposed to believe that there's any such thing as "truth" that isn't first filtered first through one's own tragic personal experience.

BevfromNYC said...

We interrupt this article to bring you breaking news...BEEP...Rep. Anthony Weiner (D/NY) admits to lying about being hacked and copped to posting photos of his nether parts on Twitter and apparently on many other electronic venues as well...Film at 11:00...we now resume regular commentin...BEEP

LawHawkRFD said...

Bev: I really hope everybody got to see the whole thing. I have never seen such a combination of arrogance, tears, purple prose, and admissions of truly-disturbing exhibitionist pathology all wrapped into one. And on top of the "I'm sorry if I have harmed anyone" obfuscation comes the direct admission that he outright lied about the whole thing. He says it was "dumb." I think it was one helluva lot more than merely dumb. I'd have bought that argument from a hormone-deranged fifteen year old, but not from an alleged adult charged with serious public responsibilities.

Writer X said...

I can't blame the Obama Election Machine for wanting to get rid of her for a while. She's become nothing but a liability.

And I suppose there aren't any children or communities in this country that could benefit from the taxpayer-funded trip worldwind costs that her trip would generate? Say, Joplin, Missouri?

Typical liberal crap--it always looks better when you're being maternal/paternal in some other country.

Don't let the door hit you on the way out, Michelle!

LawHawkRFD said...

WriterX: She's all smiles and lovey-dovey hopey change, but beneath that pleasant exterior lies the heart of a true race-baiting America-hater. Maybe she sees the handwriting on the wall, and has decided that it's time to get as much mileage as possible (literally and figuratively) on the American taxpayers' money before she has to settle for living off the income of a Chicago community-organizer and autobiographer.

rlaWTX said...

adios!
sayonara!
hasta la vista (unless I vista you first)!
ciao!
vaya con Dios (of course, Dios is a liberation theology, genderless, goddess of diversity and luuuv)!

LawHawkRFD said...

OK, I admit it, I'm enjoying this just a bit more than is seemly. Weiner's entire speech could be summed up as follows: "I'm a liar, I'm a pervert, I'm a philanderer, but I'm only human, so I'm not going to resign."

I'm headed for the country store for a few minutes, but I'll be right back.

LawHawkRFD said...

rlaWTX: But you didn't say good-bye. LOL

BevfromNYC said...

LawHawk - I don't understand WHY he answered questions!! He should have made his tearful confession and walked off the podium. He just kept talking and talking and answering questions...WHY?? I did notice that there was no Mrs. Weiner standing bravely by his side. At least Silda Spitzer (as shocked as she looked) was at Eliot's side...

AndrewPrice said...

Honestly, I don't care about the Weiner thing. He's a disgrace to a profession that is full of the disgraced and he's in a party that has more than it's fair share of the disgraced. Yet, little will happen because he's a democrat, so the media will play the "that's different" game and the "he's contrite" game. And even if he does resign, they'll just replace him with a clone as he goes on to make millions as a lobbyist.

LawHawkRFD said...

Bev: It's a condition loosely called "logorrhea." Andrew and I can both tell you some great stories about how our clients talked themselves right into jail because they just couldn't resist expanding on their already-lame stories. The have the right to remain silent, but they're psychologically incapable of it.

LawHawkRFD said...

Andrew: I'm not so sure this is entirely meaningless. If he doesn't resign, and I expect he won't, he'll get re-elected. There are other parts of the country that might tolerate misbehavior on a small scale but not on the grand scale that Weiner has committed. Democrats covering for him or minimizing the scandal may find themselves at risk. He probably hasn't hurt himself much with his loyal constituency, but the hypocrisy of the left about sexual indiscretions is good campaign fodder material for those outside his district. For that reason, and only that reason, I have to say I care. Contested districts with a large contingent of social conservatives will definitely see some action coming out of this mess.

Nancy Pelosi has said she will request an ethics investigation. Aw, c'mon Nan. We all know that for Democrats, "investigation" means "whitewash." In any event, where he goes from here is directly in line with what you said.

Are we making odds on whether or not he'll go the new age route of going into rehab for sexual addiction?

BevfromNYC said...

Andrew, I would normally agree with you, however Weiner called the cops on the press to force them stop asking him questions. Not a good idea even for a Democrat.

LawHawkRFD said...

Bev: If I had to pick one politician who was both more arrogant and more tone deaf than Obama, it would be Weiner. Weiner, Weiner, Weiner. I can't stop saying it. I'm resisting all the hot dog and "where the beef?" jokes I can, but it's not easy.

BevfromNYC said...

Ah, but you both don't understand, Weiner's dream was to be Mayor of New York City in 2013, not to remain a Congressman. Now he will have to remain a Congressman which is fine with me. Brooklyn deserves that lying blowhard, just like Harlem deserves that lying sack of [BEEP] like Rangel.

LawHawkRFD said...

Bev: I didn't know until quite recently that Weiner Weiner Weiner had his sights on the mayoralty. I hate to admit it, but at least he's proven he isn't completely bloodless, like Bloomberg. I'm beginning to miss San Francisco. Our local politicians were largely perverts, but at least they were open about it. Several of the members of the Board of Supervisors would have said "sure, that's my crotch in the picture, but you need to see a larger version of it." LOL

Koshcat said...

You know, I sort of feel sorry for Barrak. All he probably hears from her is whine, whine, whine, bitch, bitch, bitch, moan, moan, moan. All the man wants is a frickin' chile dog! No wonder he keeps sending Michelle abroad. I know he deserves her, but I secretely hope he is getting a little tail on the side. I would actually respect him (ok, just a little teeny, tiny, itsy, bitsy bit) for sort of standing up to her.

LawHawkRFD said...

Koshcat: And don't forget, she probably won't let him eat his waffle in peace either. I think you're right. Something tells me she is hell on wheels when the public can't see her turning his ears bright crimson. And you can't call it "hen-pecking." That's a full-grown vulture he's stuck with.

LawHawkRFD said...

See what I mean? The jokes just write themselves. REUTERS: "Pelosi seeks House probe on Weiner." Leno's and Letterman's writers couldn't come up with anything that funny.

BevfromNYC said...

As to Our Dear Lady Michelle's impending visit to Africa. Fine, whatever. Does this mean we won't have to eat our vegetables while she is away? Did you see the new pie chart that has now replaced the Food pyramid? MMmmmm, pie....

BevfromNYC said...

LawHawk - I liked the NY Post's - "Weiner's Pickle"...classic. Tee-hee.

LawHawkRFD said...

Bev: I'm going to load up on Big Macs and Quarter Pounders while she's gone. Hold the veggies, I just want meat and cheese! And super-duper-ginormous soft drinks!

LawHawkRFD said...

Bev: I know. It's all making Weiner very crotchety. Sorry.

LL said...

I'll pay if she'll stay there.

BevfromNYC said...

LawHawk - "crotchety"...tee hee.

LawHawkRFD said...

LL: Please send your contribution made payable to the LawHawk Obama Removal Program. Thank you very much.

LawHawkRFD said...

Bev: I'm a victim of a neurological order that prevents me from avoiding cheap shots and bad puns. By the way, do you think Weiner toned his body while watching "Buns of Steel?"

LawHawkRFD said...

Make that "disorder." LOL

Tehachapi Tom said...

Hawk
If that's where her roots are she should stay there and water them.
bo is disgusting his significant other is repulsive.

LawHawkRFD said...

Tehachapi Tom: I take it you don't much care for the Obamas. LOL

LawHawkRFD said...

Tehachapi Tom: One highly-syndicated liberal cartoonist consistently pictured Condi in classically-racist caricature. Remember, it's OK for liberals to make fun of black conservative Republicans by picturing them as plantation slaves, blackbirds and Uncle Toms. After all, they truly love black people. Conservatives on the other hand cannot criticize Charlie Rangle, Michelle Obama, Michelle's husband what's-his-name, Al Sharpton, Eric Holder, orJesse Jackson in even the politest terms without being called racist. After all, all conservatives truly hate black people.

Tehachapi Tom said...

Hawk If that classless creature is titled first lady for another four years I think I'll gag.

LawHawkRFD said...

Tehachapi Tom: And the rest of us will choke. Let's work hard to make sure she gets a big, permanent vacation in Chicago come 2013.

LawHawkRFD said...

I neglected to pay due respect to the day that spelled the beginning of the end for Nazi Germany in WW II. D-Day is a major milestone in world history. We should not forget.

Tehachapi Tom said...

Hawk
It is our responsibility to insure that our ancestors are made aware of the price so many of our citizens paid to keep America free.
The ones who were there are almost all gone now and with that loss will be the absence of first hand testimony of that price. Give bo another four and our history books will have that segment written out of them.

LawHawkRFD said...

Tehachapi Tom: And that may be particularly true since the antisemites are a strong influence in the Obama administration. They seem to think the Nazis were really bad, except for the Jewish thing of course.

LawHawkRFD said...

Tehachapi Tom: Aw, c'mon. Everybody knows that was George Bush's fault.

LawHawkRFD said...

Tehachapi Tom: The answer is simple. Everything the left does is done with the best of intentions, even when it comes out wrong. Everything the right does is done with evil intent, even when it comes out right. Their mantra is "do as we tell you, not as we do." And the MSM is complicit in the whole thing.

StanH said...

Hopefully she’s home shopping?

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