Friday, January 13, 2012

Dunderhead Bags A Hammerhead

Rosie O'Donnell is a true outdoorsman. She doesn't believe in hunting with a gun, but when it comes to hooking large fish, she's a real mensch. In fact, just before a new Florida law went into effect on January 1 prohibiting the killing of endangered shark species, O'Donnell and her "children" killed at least four sharks off the Florida coast. The most recent was a twelve foot hammerhead.

I tried very hard not to think of headlines such as "Whale Hooks Shark," but I failed. There does seem to be some sort of cosmic justice in the growing outcry against her from such former allies as PETA and Shark Savers.. Rosie hugs trees and jihadists, but she doesn't hug fish. In fact, she hangs 'em from the highest yardarm, and poses for photos. Now I'm not a member of Lawyers for Equal Treatment for Sharks (LETS), but something just doesn't feel right about Rosie's catch.

Rosie and the family do their fishing with semi-famous Mark "The Shark" Quartiano. Quartiano, like Rosie, loves sharks to death. Ya gotta kill 'em to save 'em, or something like that. Quartiano posted the photo on his website in his spotlight "This Month's Celebrity Angler." Quartiano says "Rosie is a great angler. She's very conservation-minded. We've caught a lot of fish and released a lot of fish. We've also caught fish for eating." Eating fish? What next, eating cows? Nobody asked the shark its opinion of Rosie's conservation-mindedness.

Quartiano was quick to point out that "these conservation guys are hitting the wrong target." They should be going after all those commercial fishermen who collaterally catch hammerheads in their fishing nets. After all, killing sharks by accident is certainly far worse than hunting them down and killing them with a crazed gleam in your eye.

Even the opposition made it clear that O'Donnell hadn't done anything illegal. Well, that's a relief. Her supporters say she is a celebrity known for her philanthropic work, particularly for children, but she should have been aware of the conservation implications of her actions. Rosie loves bioethicists, but she probably missed the position of Yale Professor Peter Singer who believes that severely disabled infants have fewer rights than healthy hammerheads.

Erik Bush is a marine conservationist who started a Twitter and Facebook attack on our dear Rosie. He says: "Right now, sharks are the most endangered animals around. This is basically an endorsement [of sharkicide]. It sends the message that it's an OK activity. And this is not an activity that we want celebrities endorsing." Neil Hammerschlag at the University of Miami's School of Marine and Atmospheric Science chided Rose with: "She wouldn't go out hunting tigers. I don't see her pictured in front of some tiger strung up. Yet these are the tigers of the ocean, they're a top predator and they're in serious decline. Yet we kill them for sport."

I don't have a shark in this hunt, so I'm just doing my best to remain neutral. But in Rosie's defense, there is a shortage in Asia of shark fins for shark fin soup. Hammerheads are considered to have the tastiest fins of all. Without Rosie and celebrities like her, who is going to fill that vital Asian need? Look at that hammerhead's fins, and tell me she's wrong.

One wag has pointed out another benefit of Rosie's skills. It would allow for an all-new regular feature on the Animal Planet Channel--Lesbian Shark Hunters. I thought of Adequate White Whale vs. Great White Shark, but it's probably too wordy.

29 comments:

Tennessee Jed said...

ah man, Hawk . . . that picture . . . at least no breakfast yet. I remember when Rosie was an unknown and had a role in "Out of Their League." Funny how things turn out. It was the high point of her career. "Kill them to save them" l.o.l.

tryanmax said...

...killing sharks by accident is certainly far worse than hunting them down and killing them...

Whadda-huh?

Individualist said...

Um......

Um......

OK this just to disturbing and I am not even talking about the fate of the sharks

BevfromNYC said...

Thanks to Steven Spielberg and Peter Benchley, sharks are an endangered species. The most misunderstood species in the world. They keep our oceans clean. Where do people think dead fish go when they die? Into the stomachs of sharks and other scavengers.

Hey, maybe if she likes to fish for endangered species so much, what about Delta Smelt?

AndrewPrice said...

In truth, the fishing industry is a mess. The evidence is there that they are wiping out fishing stocks by overfishing and they are doing incredible amounts of collateral damage in the process. This would require a whole article to get into, so I won't go into it here, but the regulators are at fault for this and it's a disaster in the making.

LawHawkRFD said...

Tennessee: It's also hard to believe that for a short while way back when, she was known as "the queen of nice." Boy, did she have people fooled.

LawHawkRFD said...

tryanmax: I don't know. It's some kind of celebrity logic.

rlaWTX said...

she's also engaged! (the things you discover reading the magazines at the stylist's)

http://news.yahoo.com/rosie-odonnell-engaged-200528950.html

LawHawkRFD said...

Indi: It's too terrible to behold. And I'm not talking about the shark either.

T-Rav said...

I have a suspicion that that first picture was Photoshopped, but because it's Rosie O'Donnell, there's really no way of knowing, is there?

This makes me want to go watch "Spring Break Shark Attack" again. Lots of stupid people go to party in Florida and get attacked by dozens of sharks in a feeding frenzy. Hilarity ensues.

LawHawkRFD said...

Bev: That won't work. Ten Delta smelt wouldn't even make a snack for Rosie. Think bigger.

LawHawkRFD said...

Andrew: The international agreements to prevent overfishing haven't been working either. There is a serious danger of some complete species die-offs.

LawHawkRFD said...

rlaWTX: Only engaged? I thought she was one of those who were already happily "married."

LawHawkRFD said...

T-Rav: Rosie was actually identified originally as Khalid Sheikh Mohammed, but the confusion was later cleared up after the mistaken arrest photo was taken.

When it comes to choosing sides between spring break students and sharks, I'm with the sharks.

Tehachapi Tom said...

Hawk
If you were to go fishing for Rosie hook and line would be inadequate. You would need a harpoon. As for Hammerhead Sharks I don't remember ever hearing about a person being attacked by one, other shark varieties yes.
The chances of wiping out the species is remote. Sharks cross the oceans in their foraging so there are lots and lots of them out there. If an actual campaign to eliminate them were undertaken when they got scarce folks would lose interest. We tend to give our selves credit for being far more influential on being able to impact the world than we really are able. Not saying that we haven't spoiled some places but remove our influence and Mother Nature will restore our best efforts.
It would be great if Mother Nature could restore Rosie.

T-Rav said...

rla, I read those two comments together and my mind went to a dark and scary place. You'll be hearing from my psychiatrist.

LawHawkRFD said...

Tehachapi Tom: A harpoon seems about right.

We have done a lot of damage to the shark populations, and I hope you're right about them being able to bounce back.

Tehachapi Tom said...

Hawk
You far underestimate Mother Nature.
Probably the easiest for her is dust to dust.
Apply survival of the fittest and we would most likely not have the present day philosophy of the Dems.
Check what is happening in the lower 48 after the reintroduction of the Timber Wolf. That is rapidly turning into another government/greenweenie fiasco.
When we meddle with her Mother Nature responds in ways we never seem to foresee.

LawHawkRFD said...

Tehachapi Tom: Which simply proves that we should leave nature alone, neither artificially attempting to "fix" what nature has done nor ignoring human-created nature destruction. As in most things affecting human life, the guide should be reasonableness, not theoretical absolutes.

But it is not entirely true that nature will always repair the damage humans do. Consider the passenger pigeon or the dodo or the Tasmanian wolf. The other side of that coin is that most extinctions are caused by nature itself, and the human "cure" is often far worse than the loss. For us in California, that includes the huge loss of jobs, prosperity, and crops caused by the artificial protection of the Delta smelt which was going extinct with or without human interference. The Bible itself admonishes us to be good stewards, which includes making wise decisions about how we deal with nature.

And I am one of those who simply refuse to impute either intelligence or conscious planning to Mother Nature. Nature is simply nature, not a sentient being. Too much reliance on nature to take care of itself can lead to Gaea worship. Man was given dominion over the land and the animals, but is also expected by nature's God to do it the right way--reasonably and thoughtfully.

rlaWTX said...

T-Rav - sooooo sorry! but thanks for the huge LOL!!!!!


Wolves - as a non-NW USA rancher, I see pictures of my family who have hunted and killed a wolf and I think, "AH, poor wolf", cuz wolves, in the distant, are COOL! But then I listen to my Idaho ranching/farming family and let it slide without comment, cuz I don't know anything!

tryanmax said...

Hmm, Rosie's fiancé is rather attractive. Must be something really wrong with her, y'know, psychologically.

On a serious note, ever notice that in every picture of Rosie and one of her girlfriends, she always looks like she dragging the other around and showing them off? At least, that's how it looks to me.

On sharks, I just hope the next time Rosie squares off with one, the shark wins. I mean because that would be fair. Not sayin' anything else... 0;)

LawHawkRFD said...

rlaTWX: It was natural for the wolves to be there and it was natural for the ranchers to shoot them when they killed livestock. That's balance. Reintroducing them may or may not have been a good idea, but any restrictions on ranchers killing wolves that endanger their animals is "unfair" and unrealistic. The econuts have simply taken sides and decided that wolves are more important than humans and their means of existence. To the econuts I say, "you pays your money, you takes your chances." Except it's not their money they spent. The "balance" is killing wolves that kill livestock, but not hunting them into extermination.

LawHawkRFD said...

tryanmax: I think she picks "mates" like she picks pet dogs. Except she doesn't have carnal knowledge of her pet dogs (at least I hope she doesn't). Vive le shark!

Joel Farnham said...

LawHawk,

You might check out your comment moderation. I just posted some coolio info. :-))

I liked her back when she was a struggling stand-up comic. She was funny back then. Now, she is just plain nasty. Good to see you finally rooted out the original picture. Too bad they photo-shopped it and presented it to the world as Kalid Sheik Mohammed.

LawHawkRFD said...

Joel: I didn't see anything in my comment moderation. When did you send it? Didn't find it in spam either.

I liked her early in her career too. Something happened to her since then. She has a crazy mean streak that she didn't have back then. All good comedians have a bite from time to time, but with her it's just plain vicious.

Joel Farnham said...

LawHawk,

It is about the whiz kids who created a New occupiers song. I put it at the end of that thread. I just saw it this AM.

StanH said...

Being a long time fisherman, I feel for the shark. Can you imagine it’s horror once arriving at the boat only to find Rosie’s mug glaring at you…sheesh. In Florida it’s illegal to bring a live shark onto a fishing boat - - for obvious reasons, especially one that size. So they probably dragged the shark in by it’s tail, which will drown it or they used a “bang stick” and then dragged it on the boat, that’s my bet…is Rosie a nekrofelliac? Sarcasm aside there is absolutely no reason to kill that shark, catch it and cut it loose, with the exception of a nuisance shark. When I was a kid in Miami, hammerheads and tiger sharks would cruise around the ghetty’s, or inlets into the bay, usually attached to a beach. Sometimes game & wildlife would kill these sharks in an abundance of caution, they would often get over ten feet.

LawHawkRFD said...

Joel: Got it. And yuck! I responded on that comment thread. Thanks for the explanatory update.

LawHawkRFD said...

Stan: I really was having a hard time picturing La Rotunda catching that shark by fair means like a real fisherman. I was one of those people who had a very low opinion of sharks years before Jaws ever made it to the screen. When I was in junior high school, one of my ex-girlfriends went to the beach in Southern California and was badly mauled by a shark (don't know the species, and at the time I didn't care). She had to have her left leg amputated just above the knee, and she was a dancer. I've long since learned that the shark wasn't evil and was simply doing what nature impels it to do. Sharks don't get revenge (despite the theme of the Jaws sequel), but humans do, and we should have gotten past that emotional flaw by now.

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