Thursday, January 26, 2012

T-Rav's Sockpuppet Theater Presents: Jackasses in Jacksonville

Once more unto the breach dear sockpuppets! And don't forget the chips. Tonight, CNN, 8 PM EST.


And tonight's pre-debate question: what question would you ask each candidate if you were the moderator?

By the way, there is a glitch with the comments. When we get above 200 comments, you either have to click on the title to the article or post a comment to see anything beyond 200.

412 comments:

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BevfromNYC said...

Hey when did Fancy Nancy join the party?

T-Rav's Exhausted Sockpuppets said...

Oh no, not again!

AndrewPrice said...

Sockpuppets, I feel your pain. Fortunately, after tonight we have something like 4 weeks off from this nonsense! :)

AndrewPrice said...

Bev, Vote for Newt, get Fancy Nancy in drag.

T-Rav's Kitties said...

Sockpuppets, you can come play with us instead!!!!

Individualist said...

Sock puupets

Now you know how the bowl of Petunias felt in Douglas Adam's Hitchhiker's Guide Trilogy

LawHawkRFD said...

I'd ask Newt if he still beats his wife. Then I'd ask Mitt if he still beats his wives. Then I'd ask Santorum if he beats his husband. Finally, I'd ask Paul if he feels free, without government interference, to beat his wife. KIDDING

The real question that is lingering in my mind right now, facing another debate, is do any of the candidates know the meaning of "continuous loop?"

rlaWTX said...

Is Newt represented by Nan or the blue critter in her lap?


I'd like to know who they feel would be good VP choices for them...

Sockpuppet Knitters United for Fairness said...

So you are exhausted, eh Sockpuppets? Well, look at this and remember, you can be replaced...

http://www.woio.com/category/211979/video-landing-page?autoStart=true&topVideoCatNo=default&clipId=6660851

AndrewPrice said...

rlaWTX, I see your avatar has changed again! From cats to bombs to snakes! I'm seeing a dangerous trend here. LOL!

AndrewPrice said...

SKUF, Here's your link: LINK

CrisD said...

"What does Conservative Republican mean to you?"

AndrewPrice said...

While I like Hawk's question very much, I would ask:

Romney: "Tell me something you believe in passionately and why."

Newt: "Is there anything you won't say to get elected?"

Ricky: "At what point does the government trying to micromanage the economy become socialism?"

Paul: "What exactly would you do if Iran nuked an Israeli city? Or Berlin?"

AndrewPrice said...

BTW, rlaWTX, That's a good question, which one is Newt? I view them as a symbiotic organism. So basically, they both do.

CrisD said...

I have to get up REALLY early to take a flight to see my baby girl in one of her last swim meets (college senior)! I am psyched to see her and for the banquet but I will need to tear myself away from the debates at a decent hour!! I hope we'll get a recap!!

AndrewPrice said...

Cris, Best of luck to your daughter!

A recap will be difficult because of our schedule. Perhaps Lawhawk can provide a recap? If not, we can try to leave our thoughts at the end of the thread!

Good question by the way, I'll bet they all fumble that one.

tryanmax said...

Since I have abandoned all hope that Fast & Furious, Solyindra, or Keystone XL will ever come up in any debate, as moderator I would resign myself to asking each of the questions posed in the Beatles' "With a Little Help from My Friends."

AndrewPrice said...

tryanmax, First jumpsuits and now musical debates? Hmm. I'm sensing a pattern here.

Of course, that would make the debates more interesting if they had to perform each one according to a musical style.

BevfromNYC said...

I think they should have to juggles eggs or hand grenades when they answer questions...

AndrewPrice said...

Or flaming bags of polar bear poo!

AndrewPrice said...

Hillary just announced she's retiring. I guess clapping like a trained monkey at the SOTU was too much for her?


Meanwhile, Egypt is now forbidding Americans from leaving the country. Obama's response: "who would want to leave Egypt?"

rlaWTX said...

poor polar bears having to poo into flaming bags!

rlaWTX said...

and the avatar is simply a response - not a threat...

CrisD said...

Wow! Would Hillary have decided to retire and bake cookies had she been elected President?

that's not really a question...

CrisD said...

P.S. Hillary was "done in" by the Anthony weiner's junk mail" fiasco. Her assistant was his wife

T-Rav said...

Questions I'd ask each candidate? Hmmmm.

Governor Romney, you recently described the individual mandate in the Mass. health-care plan as "fundamentally conservative," and implied the plan overall would be a good template for the other states. How can voters be certain that you'll repeal ObamaCare, given this attitude?

Speaker Gingrich, given the disastrous state of our economy and our national debt, why are you talking about establishing a base on the moon?

Congressman Paul, do you believe that America brought 9/11 on itself, or do you not?

Senator Santorum, is there any difference between your economic policy and that of Obama's? If so, what?

T-Rav said...

Oh, and on an entirely unrelated note, this was on NBC a few minutes ago, when Tom Brokaw was giving a report on California and Governor Brown. Quote: "It isn't sunshine every day with the California economy, but Jerry Brown hasn't given up on big dreams."

Thud.

Newt said...

So we can escape the horrible economy. I plan to move the country. And before you ask, the mirror array in the desert will be so I can see my reflection from the moon.

AndrewPrice said...

rlaWTX, Yeah, it's horrible they don't have non-flaming toilet facilities! LOL!

AndrewPrice said...

CrisD, Somehow, I don't think Hillary would be planning to retire if she had won the election.

Not to mention, she's clearly anti-cookie... lousy commie swine!

tryanmax said...

Very savvy, Andrew. For years I've been privately hoping that Donny Osmond would run for the White House. Now my secret is out.

T-Rav said...

Hey Newt, how does this relate to your desire to build an actual Jurassic Park?

tryanmax said...

Wait, Newt wants to build an actual Jurassic Park? I may have to rethink this election...

T-Rav said...

Link

AndrewPrice said...

Holy cow! Is there any stupid idea this man has not had?

AndrewPrice said...

Hmm. I can't find a feed for this at CNN?

AndrewPrice said...

This looks like the feed:

CNN

T-Rav said...

Is it over yet?

CNN said...

We're just mailing it in tonight, folks.

AndrewPrice said...

You wish.



... so do I actually.

T-Rav said...

Unfortunately, my supplies of alcohol and crack are pretty depleted from Monday and Tuesday nights. Anyone got extra?

AndrewPrice said...

A presidential race that's breaking all the rules...

huh?

T-Rav said...

Welcome to CNN, land of well-worn cliches.

AndrewPrice said...

T-Rav, I'm chewing lead paint chips.

T-Rav said...

Remember when South Carolina was going to be the one that decided it all? Good times, good times....

Florida GOP said...

You screwed up, you trusted us!

AndrewPrice said...

Maybe we should do the commentary in Spanish tonight?

Newt said...

How dare you introduce me!

T-Rav said...

Ladies and gentlemen, it's Haley Barbour's little brother!

Mitt Romney said...

Yo hablo espanol....

AndrewPrice said...

Rise for the national anthem, performed by Snoop Dog, who knows only 4 words of the lyrics.

Rick Santorum said...

Yo hablo espanol tambien!

AndrewPrice said...

Ola!

(just kidding)

Steven Tyler said...

Dude, I could have burned that national anthem up.

Newt Gingrich said...

Mitt Romney es el filthy blue-blood!

AndrewPrice said...

I'm Candidate X. I like long walks on the beach and tricking the public.

Wolf Blitzer said...

Oops! Had my fingers crossed!

Newt said...

I can pander even in my opening statement.

AndrewPrice said...

Tag? Does he have a brother named Freeze?

Spartacus said...

I am Spartacus!

Mysterious Asian Guy said...

You must not let the Newt touch water. Or feed him after midnight.

T-Rav said...

Why do I get the feeling that cough was one of the candidates trying to disguise a laugh?

AndrewPrice said...

WTF? So it's going to be slam Romney night from CNN?

LawHawkRFD said...

I got just enough time to hear the Star-Spangled Banner and get a phone call from a stranded granddaughter. So instead of the debate, I'll be out doing the much more pleasant task of trying to figure out what's wrong with her car, in freezing temperatures. Sorry I'm bailing on everyone.

AndrewPrice said...

Hey, Asia Guy, and don't rear end Newt, he will explode.

AndrewPrice said...

So now Rick favors eVerify? Amazing.

T-Rav said...

Anyone wanna bet this is Santorum's best answer all night?

Mysterious Asian Guy said...

Ummmmm.....what do you mean by that?

AndrewPrice said...

So Newt's going to take 1 year to "control the border"?

Hmmm... lots of words, but no meaning whatsoever.

AndrewPrice said...

AMC Gremlin man... boom!

AndrewPrice said...

So now you can stay here if you're a grandparent.

What if you own more than four hats?

T-Rav said...

Wolf Blitzer, moderator in name only.

T-Rav said...

Andrew, they have to be red hats.

AndrewPrice said...

That's an asinine question by Wolf. "Self deportation" means they go home when they can't find work, it DOESN'T mean we have self-deportation day! idiot

T-Rav said...

Ron Paul's Corpus Christi district is close to 200 miles from the Mexican border. #Fact Check

AndrewPrice said...

So Paul is now suggesting open borders?

Ron Paul said...

I was told this question would involve gold.

AndrewPrice said...

WTF? This is totally "please smear Romney" night isn't it? Thanks Wolf.

AndrewPrice said...

Newt is prepared to be very tough and very bold....

.... in granting amnesty.

Rick Perry said...

How come when I mentioned the word "heartless," it was bad?

AndrewPrice said...

Wow, he speaks like the worst kind of lawyer. Not one thing Newt said was honest and it was ALL misleading.

AndrewPrice said...

Good for Romney!

Hulk Romney said...

You wouldn't like me when I'm angry.

T-Rav said...

Romney/Rubio 2012?

AndrewPrice said...

Romney is kicking his butt. Good for him. Nice passion!

AndrewPrice said...

I have honestly never seen a candidate who lies and distorts as easily as Newt.

T-Rav said...

Okay, so like I was kind of rooting for Newt a little bit before this circus started? Yeah, about that....

AndrewPrice said...

So Wolf has now asked 5 questions and they've all been attacks on Romney.

Wolf said...

I guess I need to ask Paul and Santorum something...

"Don't you hate Romney?"

AndrewPrice said...

Good question from the audience! :)

Hugo Chavez said...

What?! Oh, that's just silly talk. Don't pay attention to that; just go back to your TV shows and your things....

Ron Paul said...

I would steal their gold.

AndrewPrice said...

Ok, I actually agree about opening up with Cuba.

T-Rav said...

Okay, so if I understand right, libertarianism involves not lifting a finger to do anything about totalitarian communist regimes which could pose a danger to libertarian ideas. Right.

AndrewPrice said...

Yeah, we screwed Hondorus... thank Barack.

AndrewPrice said...

T-Rav, Liberalism is the same. Human rights are things the US fails at... no one else deserves them.

T-Rav said...

I guess Ron Paul figured he's not gonna win FL anyway, so why bother finding rapport with Cuban voters?

AndrewPrice said...

Paul is right in a sense, but completely wrong as usual. We need to use economic power.

Paulgoblin said...

Eee-eee-eee-eeeeee!!!!

AndrewPrice said...

Ricky's actually right for once. I wonder how that happened?

AndrewPrice said...

So now Wolf is "fact checking" Romney in the middle of the debate.

This is incredibly biased.

T-Rav said...

Wall, meet my head. Head, wall.

(pound) (pound)

Wolf said...

Here's my question: Do you think Romney's how is too expensive?

T-Rav said...

And of course Wolf quickly changed the subject before Mitt could finish calling him out on it. Fail.

AndrewPrice said...

We should have had a whistle blower and not a horn tooter... nice!

AndrewPrice said...

T-Rav, CNN should have called this the: "CNN Attacks Romney Debate"

Barack Hussein Obama said...

You're welcome!!

Tam said...

touchy feely bull$hit. We need a pres. who's a business leader, not a bleeding heart!

AndrewPrice said...

Newt "had about enough of this."

Now it's time to smear Romney for holding investments. Nice.

AndrewPrice said...

Tam, I agree entirely.

T-Rav said...

Okay. I give up. Romney is the only one who's been saying consistently conservative things, whether or not he really believes them, and Gingrich is acting like a total liberal in attacking him. You win. Go Romney.



God help me.

AndrewPrice said...

Whooops. Newt goes down in flames.

AndrewPrice said...

T-Rav, Welcome to the gray side. We have a nice dental plan.

Tam said...

this is crappity crap crap! Who cares who made what!!!! $U)(@Q&%(W)#TU(

Issues, a-holes! Come on! Grrrrr.

AndrewPrice said...

Romney is kicking Newt's butt here.

T-Rav said...

Can we just go to dueling banjos or something to settle this?

AndrewPrice said...

I find it stunning how happily Newt tars other people with his own sins and then lies and deflects. This man is fundamentally dishonest.

T-Rav said...

Tam, how silly of you! These are the Republican debates! We don't do issues!

AndrewPrice said...

Woo hoo! Go Paul!

DCAlleyKat said...

Good evening everyone!

AndrewPrice said...

Paul is being largely sane tonight, but he's not being very interesting this time.

AndrewPrice said...

Hey DC! Welcome aboard.

T-Rav said...

You know, Paul would be a lot more persuasive if he worked on controlling his pitch.

AndrewPrice said...

"Petty personal politics"?

DCAlleyKat said...

woohoo!

AndrewPrice said...

WTF? That's twice Santorum has been right tonight.

I must be in T-Rav's alternate universe.

T-Rav said...

When Santorum and Paul are being the voices of reason, you know it's a bad debate.

T-Rav's Alternate Universe said...

We have cookies....

DCAlleyKat said...

and so we meet again....

DCAlleyKat said...

It's CNN, of course it's a bad debate.

T-Rav said...

By the way, I'm looking at other blogs, and the across-the-board opinion is that Romney's winning hands-down.

AndrewPrice said...

Cookies?

AndrewPrice said...

This is seven times now in a row Wolf's questions have asked them to attack Romney.

The Obama Administration said...

Hey, what's so great about transparency?

Newt said...

"This is a nonsense question."


I don't believe that, in fact I've been acting the other way, but I hear that's popular to say

AndrewPrice said...

Wow, Wolf just tripped up Newt.

DCAlleyKat said...

It is nonsense...talk issues and stop it!

T-Rav said...

I think Gingrich paused and took stock during the commercial.

tryanmax said...

Wait. What? They started it an hour earlier than the last one? Well, I'm guessing I didn't miss much.

DCAlleyKat said...

Chocolate chip Amdrew?

AndrewPrice said...

Romney's defense is good, but he should have followed the herd and said let's talk issues.

T-Rav said...

You know what? You guys may want to write to your loved ones right now, because I'm seriously thinking about shutting this universe portal down and staying over here.

DCAlleyKat said...

milque? toast?

AndrewPrice said...

tryanmax, It's been a CNN disgrace and Romney has been kicking the crap out of Newt.

tryanmax said...

Well, I'm glad to hear they didn't silence the crowd.

AndrewPrice said...

So Wolf smears Romney in 8/8 questions now.

Warren Buffet said...

Boooo!!! Newt Gingrich, booo!!!!

Tam said...

who the hell cares. crappity crap crap crap. Grrrrrrrr!

All that leading up to a flat tax proposal.

DCAlleyKat said...

That's Wolf's job Andrew!

AndrewPrice said...

That's Wolf's first non-smear.

AndrewPrice said...

Reagan had 28% because he couldn't get it lower with a Democratic Congress.

tryanmax said...

What universe is this? I'm hearing defense of capitalism and lower taxes. This is a dream, right?

AndrewPrice said...

DC, I didn't know Wolf was on Newt's payroll, but I think it was an interesting slip when Newt said they were friends.

Besides, doesn't Newt hate the media and vice versa?

T-Rav said...

Actually, I'll take this over the NBC debate. At least Wolf's getting some pushback from the audience.

Ron Paul said...

I support the 99%.

AndrewPrice said...

tryanmax, It's been weird tonight.

1. Romney was passionate.
2. Santorum and Paul are making sense.
3. T-Rav seem to have come over to accepting Romney.

DCAlleyKat said...

Go Ron!

T-Rav said...

tryanmax, I think we're having a collective acid trip. Romney is being the most conservative, Andrew thinks Santorum is making good points....it's a mad, mad, mad, mad, mad world.

Wolf said...

Sir, Aren't you too damn old?

tryanmax said...

T-Rav is accepting Romney? Shoulda listened to the Mayans.

DCAlleyKat said...

Newt likes to manipulate the media...and Wolf enjoys making any Repub look bad.

Wolf said...

Do you mind if I jam a flashlight up your rear?

tryanmax said...

Oi! Now that the tax returns are out, we need medical records? What next? Kindergarten finger-paintings?

Tam said...

How about college transcripts?

T-Rav said...

Ever notice how the media is much more interested in inspecting the candidates' personal stuff than they were in Obama's? Isn't that weird?

AndrewPrice said...

I want a permanent base on Uranus... ;)

DCAlleyKat said...

"what a long strange trip it's been"....

AndrewPrice said...

Tam, Or birth certificates! :)

T-Rav said...

CNN Debate....IN SPPAAACCCEEEE!!!!

tryanmax said...

Andrew, that's what the media apparently wants of the candidates.

AndrewPrice said...

LOL! CNN in spaaaaccceee!

tryanmax said...

2012, a Space Oddity.

Robot said...

Danger, danger America! Newt Gingrich is a #%&#ing idiot!

AndrewPrice said...

Actually, NASA has an impressive procurement department and they fund science. Newt knows this.

DCAlleyKat said...

T-Rav- these candidates should be putting in those zingers about BHO's lack of revelations.

Newt said...

I want to give people money to fly to Paris.

T-Rav said...

That was literally the strangest answer I have heard in my whole life.

AndrewPrice said...

America did reach the moon before China, Newt. Or do you mean to meet them when they arrive?

tryanmax said...

Santorum: "Moonifest Destiny!"

T-Rav said...

tryanmax, thread winner! :-D

AndrewPrice said...

Somebody help me... Ricky's making sense again.

AndrewPrice said...

Bravo! trynamax! That's awesome!

T-Rav said...

Andrew, before you ask, no you don't have vertigo. Santorum is really saying these things.

DCAlleyKat said...

Education instead of social indoctrination will bring more scientists, etc...

AndrewPrice said...

And Paul is doing well.

This is a strange debate.

James Kirk said...

Space... the final frontier.

DCAlleyKat said...

Go Ron, fly them to the moon and let them float among the stars...

Tam said...

YAY!!! Privatize the industry!

tryanmax said...

So, Paul is against defense, unless the threat comes from the moon? I think I'm finally getting a clear picture of his foreign policy.

AndrewPrice said...

T-Rav, I think the candidates should be checked for brain slugs tonight to see if they are speaking their own minds.

T-Rav said...

Hey, if we make dinosaurs, we can put them on the moon!

AndrewPrice said...

tryanmax, LOL! Score!!!!

tryanmax said...

OMG! Jurassic Park on the Moon! Will there be Amazon Women there?

AndrewPrice said...

What do we need 6/7 launches a day for?

China said...

We don't want the moon, we want Nepal.

tryanmax said...

Andrew, space mirrors don't put themselves in orbit.

DCAlleyKat said...

only in the avacado jungle!

Newt Gingrich said...

You know what would be great? If we could build something like the Death Star, something big enough to blow up the whole planet for defense! No one would dare touch us then!

AndrewPrice said...

Romney just tagged Newt's pandering.

Tam said...

Nice job, Mitt!

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