Tuesday, January 24, 2012

T-Rav's Sockpuppets v. Obama's STFUSOTU

The only thing worse that another debate (like the one tomorrow night) is a SOTU. Good God! Why? The union is in a lousy state. Obama is the problem. The solution is obvious. Why do we need to waste two hours listening to our incompetent president try to explain his failure? Well, here goes:


And while we're waiting lets predict some of what Obama might say tonight and what he should say instead.

I'll start. . . He'll say: "It's all Bush's fault!" He should say: "Whoops."

579 comments:

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Sockpuppet Union Reps said...

Andrew, this is a workplace violation! You have been making these sockpuppets labor almost continuously for the past week or two with all these debates without due compensation. You'll be hearing from us!

Sockpuppet Knitters United for Equality said...

We want our share...You would be nothing without us.

BevfromNYC said...

That photo makes it look like Obama's ears are flapping...

AndrewPrice said...

Bev, He is Dumbo after all! ;)

AndrewPrice said...

Careful Sockpuppet Union... We know Boiler Elves!

Tam said...

What he will say: Everyone needs to pay their fair share.

What he should say: By fair, I mean the same tax rate. From now on, everyone actually IS equal under the law. No more freebies!

LawHawkRFD said...

My grandkids are already taking bets on how long it will take before I start throwing things at the television and letting out with creative strings of obscenities. They took my .357 and hid it 'til the speech is over, just in case.

AndrewPrice said...

Lawhawk, That's probably a smart thing. A television is a terrible thing to waste!

AndrewPrice said...

Tam, I think we can guarantee he'll say that!

I think he'll also talk about a need to "come together as a nation and overcome the things which divide us."

By which he really means: "I plan to run the nastiest, most race baiting campaign in history."

T-Rav said...

How many times will Obama result to class warfare?

a) Once
b) Twice
c) 5-10
d) Continuously

(I think you know the answer.)

Sockpuppet Union Reps said...

Shut up Knitters! You're just monopolizing all the fabric and not distributing it to others! Down with the bourgeois knitters!

T-Rav said...

Funny, Tam. Like Obama's ever going to make the poor pay anything in taxes! Oh, you scamp....

Tam said...

A girl can dream, right? Actually, it would be a nightmare if Dear Leader started talking like a reasonable leader. Reasonable people might actually fall for it. I say bring on the class warfare/race baiting! The nastier the better.

AndrewPrice said...

T-Rav, Why should the poor pay anything? They've earned the right to not pay by not making any money. If they had been evil and been rich, then they would need to be punished... but they were virtuous.

Also: d) Continuously.

Wanna bet he makes a reference to the attacks on Romney that Gingrich and Perry were making? I'll bet he talks about millionaires paying 15%.

AndrewPrice said...

Tam, I don't think you're going to be disappointed in that. I expect this will be one of the nastiest SOTUs ever.

rlaWTX said...

poor sockpuppets... ya know if you don't want to appear at the Theater, you could always go play with T-Rav's kittens. I think they'd give your new, claw-pulled, unraveling selves a deeper appreciation for the Theater... just sayin', there are options.

tryanmax said...

I think the real question is whether Obama will actually address the state of the union.

rlaWTX said...

I just directed a friend to the drinking game linked earlier and this thread as an alternative to stabbing herself in the ears for tonight...

T-Rav said...

I have secretly obtained the outline for Obama's SOTU speech. I thought I'd give everyone a gander at what we're facing:

8:05 p.m. Entrance
8:07-8:15 p.m. Accepts standing ovations from Congressional Democrats
8:15-8:18 p.m. Awkward silence while waiting for more standing ovations
8:18-8:25 p.m. Uses Gabby Giffords as an excuse to denounce conservatives for hateful rhetoric
8:25-8:40 p.m. Does repeated victory laps over killing of Bin Laden
8:40:01 p.m. Lists all other accomplishments in past year
8:40:02-8:51 p.m. Blames Congressional Republicans for not getting more done, for the state of the economy, for the violence associated with the Arab Spring, and for the destruction of Atlantis
8:51-8:58 p.m. Gives shout-out to Warren Buffet's secretary; attacks rich for not paying fair share
8:58-9:00 p.m. Receives standing ovation from millionaire Congressional Democrats
9:00-9:05 p.m. Explains why Republican presidential candidates hate the poor, minorities, women, foreigners, animals, vegetables, minerals, cancer patients, and babies
9:05-9:10 p.m. Uses ObamaCare patient as prop for defending ObamaCare
9:10-9:11 p.m. Outlines plans for the coming year
9:11-9:23 p.m. Repeats attacks on Republicans and the rich; suggests rich need to have wealth confiscated and personally singled out
9:23-9:25 p.m. Repeats attacks on Republicans for hateful rhetoric
9:25-9:30 p.m. Stutters through wrap-up
9:30 p.m. End

AndrewPrice said...

It just dawned on me... this could be Obama's LAST state of the union!

Now that is a happy thought!

AndrewPrice said...

rlaWTX, Very nice! Way to help a friend!

AndrewPrice said...

tryanmax, If you mean the union between Obama and the government, then yes.

AndrewPrice said...

T-Rav, Excellent news scoop!

In truth, the Republicans did cause Atlantis to sink. And they killed the dinosaurs to Big Oil could control the country.

T-Rav said...

From Barack Obama's Twitter account: "Are you hosting a #SOTU2012 watch party? Get your cameras ready and send us your best pics—we can’t wait to see them"

This is what the White House is doing with its time, folks.

#CrazyInIran said...

Quick, while Obama is on the Twitter, let us invade Saudi Arabia!

USS Ben USN (Ret) said...

T-Rav: LOL! That's pretty much the itinerary of all his SOTU speeches (all his speeches really).

Well done and too funny! :^)

You might consider a warning not to drink while reading next time.
To save the computer screen from the inevitable splatter.

USS Ben USN (Ret) said...

T-Rav said...
From Barack Obama's Twitter account: "Are you hosting a #SOTU2012 watch party?

Well, Obama IS a twit so that comes as no surprise.

T-Rav said...

I ate a turkey sandwich, and now my fingers smell like sawdust. Should I be alarmed?

AndrewPrice said...

Speaking of Obama, I just got an e-mail form him (yes, I'm on his list) reminding me to watch. Jerk.


Also, I just registered for the Colorado Caucus! I'm voting for Donald Duck!

AndrewPrice said...

T-Rav, Not unless the Turkey's family finds out who you are....

T-Rav said...

Thanks Ben, and read at your own risk! ;-)

T-Rav said...

Don't worry Andrew, I paid them off.

tryanmax said...

If anyone is getting impatient waiting for the SOTU to start, here's a taste: LINK

AndrewPrice said...

Drudge has a link which shows that the evil businessman Mitt Romney gave 15% of his income to charity. Savior Obama gave 1%.

That is so typical. Liberals claim to be these bleeding hearts, but they will never use their own money.

USS Ben USN (Ret) said...

AndrewPrice said...
Drudge has a link which shows that the evil businessman Mitt Romney gave 15% of his income to charity. Savior Obama gave 1%.

Typical indeed. Not only that but the charity leftists like Obama give to are usually leftist causes and ultimately, a leftist controlled state of force.

Forcing rich folks to give more of their money (which is never enough) to bureaucrats who take their considerable cut and give the change to their idea of charity.

The result being what we see now: higher unemployment, inflation, a stale and decaying economy, manufacturerers (producers) moving overseas or to Mexico, etc..

A decay that leads to economies like Greece, Spain, etc., or worse.

Then they blame it on the conservatives.

Tam said...

Andrew,
I'm on the WH e-mail list too. I sent them a scathing letter when they were asking for sob stories about what $40 means to me. Since then, they've been telling me what a great disciple of Dear Leader I am, inviting me to watch whateverthehell he's doing. Obviously, they either didn't read or didn't umderstand my letter.

Tam said...

*that would be "understand."

T-Rav said...

Gee, I'm almost sorry I'm not on the WH email list, so then I could really tell them off. Almost.

Tam said...

T-Rav, they would just conveniently ignore your sentiments then count you among the disciples.

USS Ben USN (Ret) said...

Tam: Especially when they see T-Rav's avatar, LOL.

Tam said...

Yeah, he doesn't look like someone they would want to pay attention to, does he?

BevfromNYC said...

Oooh, Drinking game rule:
Drink when he says "Let me be clear..."

Two gulps if he follows it with "The Republicans have...

T-Rav said...

Ben and Tam, that's unfair! People shouldn't judge me like that! Look at this face. Would this face lie to you?

AndrewPrice said...

Tam, I've sent them nasty notes too and they ignore them. As far as they're concerned I'm just one of the happy zombies.

AndrewPrice said...

Actually, one of the funny things about avatars is that you do begin thinking of people as their avatars. So I probably would expect T-Rav to show up at the first Commentaramathon looking like Obama in joker makeup.

The American Medical Association said...

Dear BevinNYC: Although many of our rank-and-file are in sympathy with you, especially since the passing of ObamaCare, we must discourage this proposed drinking-game rule of yours. If followed, physicians nationwide would be inundated with cases of alcohol poisoning by 9:15 EST. Thank you for your consideration.

T-Rav said...

Am I stoned, or is Krauthammer defending Gingrich? Wasn't expecting that.

AndrewPrice said...

Ben, That's how they do it. They steal from the rich to give to the government and then blame the rich for not having enough to steal.

USS Ben USN (Ret) said...

Who isn't letting Obama be clear?

Perhaps his teleprompter.

When Obama is clear he sounds like an idiot.

Okay, actually he always sounds like an idiiot considering the substance of his speeches but moreso when he goes off script.

AndrewPrice said...

T-Rav, It sounds that way... and he's splitting hairs to do it.

Though now he seems to have switched sides.


Welcome to Washington.

T-Rav said...

Let me be clear: I, uh, do not look like Obama or wear, uh, Joker makeup, in real life.

Obama said...

Let me be obtuse.

Or is it "let me be oblong"?

AndrewPrice said...

T-Rav, That's surprisingly hard to believe actually. Weird isn't it?

USS Ben USN (Ret) said...

T-Rav:
Is that a riddle or a joke? :^)

USS Ben USN (Ret) said...

T-Rav said...
Let me be clear: I, uh, do not look like Obama or wear, uh, Joker makeup, in real life.

What kind of makeup do you use?
I only ask because mine (the cheap kind) tends to smear a lot.

AndrewPrice said...

Booo boooo boooo! Booo boooo boooo!

AndrewPrice said...

Sorry, just warming up.

Acute said...

Nobody ever wants to be me.

AndrewPrice said...

The Klingons are here.

T-Rav said...

Ben, it depends on what I've got on to go with the black heels, or the blue flats, or...wait...can everyone read this?

AndrewPrice said...

Warren Buffett really is a disgrace. He's a professional plunderer.

T-Rav said...

The Imperial March would have been more appropriate theme music.

AndrewPrice said...

T-Rav, If I'm ever made President, that would be my theme song! How cool would that be?!

tryanmax said...

The Operative of Obamaha.

AndrewPrice said...

tryanmax, That's fitting.

USS Ben USN (Ret) said...

How about the theme from Jaws?

High-Speed Rail said...

I hope Obama gives me a shout-out. I feel forgotten.

AndrewPrice said...

Booo boooo boooo!Booo boooo boooo!Booo boooo boooo!Booo boooo boooo!Booo boooo boooo!Booo boooo boooo!Booo boooo boooo!Booo boooo boooo!Booo boooo boooo!Booo boooo boooo!Booo boooo boooo!

USS Ben USN (Ret) said...

The Imperial Theme is pretty catchy.

rlaWTX said...

they announce the Pres, I look up and see Waxman!!!!!! < shudder >

BevfromNYC said...

So does that mean you think I look like a delicate flower?

What channel is everyone watching? I'm on CSPAN - no stupid commentary.

I heard that Warren Buffet's secretary is sitting by Michelle. Why?

AndrewPrice said...

I would give real money if Eric Cantor would smack Obama in the back of the head right now.

Tam said...

Did you see the 1000 days buttons some republicans are planning to wear tonight? As in, 1000 days without a budget.

And, Boehner invited people who won't get jobs, thanks to killing the pipeline project.

Nice show, I just wish there were more substance behind it.

Barack Hussein Obama said...

My name is Ozymandias, King of Kings/Look on my works, ye mighty, and despair!

T-Rav said...

YOU SUCK!

AndrewPrice said...

Bev, Because he's going to make a class warfare argument about billion thieves paying less in taxes than their henchmen.

tryanmax said...

I though 0bama was black. He looks spray-tan orange on my TV. I think the picture is okay...

BevfromNYC said...

If I'm ever President I want a slide whistle as my official music.

USS Ben USN (Ret) said...

Hiss! (Holds up a crucifix).

T-Rav said...

In other news, Sheila Jackson Lee is a chuckleheaded attention-whore.

Tam said...

he's only half black.

tryanmax said...

I'm playing my own version of the drinking game. I'm just gonna drink whenever I need to.

BevfromNYC said...

Andrew - I was thinking the same thing. He looks orange!

AndrewPrice said...

I don't think I've ever despised a President more than this one.

tryanmax said...

If I'm ever prez, I'm using the Flash Gordon theme by Queen.

Actually, anything by Queen would be pretty sweet.

rlaWTX said...

I think the CSPAN tweets might be more annoying than the Fox commentators

T-Rav said...

Hey Andrew, what's the policy for profanity on this blog? Just asking.

tryanmax said...

Tam, so he's half black and half orange? Weird.

AndrewPrice said...

I concur with everyone else, he looks orange.

Clearly, he's half black, half tiger.

AndrewPrice said...

wow! The Flash Gordon theme would be awesome!

John Boehner said...

Dang, Obama's more orange-y than I am.

tryanmax said...

The NBC commentators are fairly silent. Just a suggestion.

T-Rav said...

You're calling blacks animals! RACIST!!!

AndrewPrice said...

T-Rav, We try to avoid it, but it's getting harder these days. :(

Tigers Anonymous said...

Don't blame us!!

BevfromNYC said...

rlaWTX - I do not have any tweets on my CSPAN channel...

tryanmax said...

For the record, I never called 0bama an animal. Orange is a fruit.

AndrewPrice said...

My God! He's the same color as Boehner?!

Have aliens taken over the country?

T-Rav said...

Somewhere, there's a bottle of rubbing alcohol with my name on it.

Tam said...

So does that make you homophobic?

BevfromNYC said...

Make them stop clapping...Yes, we know he can walk down an aisle...whoopdedoo.

rlaWTX said...

God, this is so depressing...

John Boehner said...

Not! I mean, it's not an honor.

tryanmax said...

We've broken the color barrier with the first orange speaker!

AndrewPrice said...

Maybe he has jaundice?

BevfromNYC said...

The American people are always last...

AndrewPrice said...

Huh? I thought the world hated us?

Barack Obama said...

Someday, we will hopefully be under a white flag. Or a red one; your choice.

rlaWTX said...

CSPAN2...

BevfromNYC said...

He's kidding right? More respected??

Of course they are killing each other...

tryanmax said...

Red or White flag, color me Blue.

T-Rav said...

Jaundice makes you yellow, I think. Hey! Maybe Obama's soul has jaundice!

AndrewPrice said...

yawn...

tryanmax said...

Talli-bahn! Drink!

Ron Paul said...

Illegal war!!!

AndrewPrice said...

US Armed Forces = awesome

Obama = awful

AndrewPrice said...

It sounds like his rhetoric generator is off.

T-Rav said...

Oh God, he's doing the earnest whispering thing again.

tryanmax said...

Did he say "educate our peeps"?

AndrewPrice said...

Biden just laughed -- I saw it!

Keystone XL Pipeline said...

Hello? Hello?! You said not being tied to dangerous parts of the world? I'm right over here!!!

AndrewPrice said...

Yes, but the WWII generation wasn't led by an idiot.

rlaWTX said...

poor Boehner, He looks like he's thinking "Straight Face, gotta keep a straight face!"

Joe looks like he's not thinking...

Doctor Paul said...

Only the gold standard will save our economy. And lots of gold.

Barack Hussein Obama said...

Now I don't know anything about work, but it sounds awesome. You guys should try that.

AndrewPrice said...

He honestly looks like he's been colorized -- like the Wizard of Oz or something.

BevfromNYC said...

Thanks for the history lesson...

Yes, you could have all that someday...IF YOU WORKED HARD...

AndrewPrice said...

Is that a fat joke?

T-Rav said...

rla, it's not that he won't think, he can't think...

rlaWTX said...

whose rules??? same set???

BevfromNYC said...

But everyone DOES have a fair shot!

AndrewPrice said...

Now Joe is tying his shoe... or playing with himself.

T-Rav said...

The State of the Union speech, now presented in Technicolor!

T-Rav said...

Thanks to Democratic policies....

AndrewPrice said...

America = House of Card.

Thanks Barack.

USS Ben USN (Ret) said...

rlaWTX said...
poor Boehner, He looks like he's thinking "Straight Face, gotta keep a straight face!"

Joe looks like he's not thinking...

Joe never thinks. It gets in the way of progress.

Dumb Borrowers said...

who gave us those loans?

AndrewPrice said...

Ha ha ha!Ha ha ha!Ha ha ha!Ha ha ha!Ha ha ha!Ha ha ha!Ha ha ha!Ha ha ha!Ha ha ha!Ha ha ha!Ha ha ha!Ha ha ha!Ha ha ha!Ha ha ha!Ha ha ha!Ha ha ha!Ha ha ha!Ha ha ha!Ha ha ha!Ha ha ha!Ha ha ha!Ha ha ha!Ha ha ha!Ha ha ha!Ha ha ha!Ha ha ha!Ha ha ha!Ha ha ha!Ha ha ha!Ha ha ha!Ha ha ha!Ha ha ha!Ha ha ha!Ha ha ha!Ha ha ha!Ha ha ha!Ha ha ha!Ha ha ha!Ha ha ha!Ha ha ha!

BevfromNYC said...

What "full effect"?

Teleprompter said...

Don't hate me, guys. When I don't cooperate, they take me in back and--do things to me.

AndrewPrice said...

So we're down 1 million jobs on your watch.

AndrewPrice said...

Cut the deficit by $2 trillion? Huh? When?

T-Rav said...

Random shot of TurboTax Geithner....why?

tryanmax said...

work with anyone but republicans.

BevfromNYC said...

DRINK!!!!

AndrewPrice said...

I hate this orange man.

T-Rav said...

So you're going to embrace conservative principles; what?

rlaWTX said...

bullsh!t - "work with anyone"

too much anger too type!!!!

T-Rav said...

Obama/Santorum 2012!!!

Ford Motors said...

we're OK with out you!

tryanmax said...

manufacturing - stifled by unions
energy - stifled by EPA
etc. etc. etc.

AndrewPrice said...

This is a delusional speech if he thinks he can tell people that everything is going great because he fixed it.

T-Rav said...

"fight obstruction with action"

They call that fascism in some places, ya know.

Ford said...

Hey, leave us out of it.

AndrewPrice said...

T-Rav, I'm thinking that too. He and Santorum should get together and form a fascist club.

tryanmax said...

Obama is gonna take over Pittsburgh and Raleigh, now?

Chevy Volt said...

No mention of me? At all?

AndrewPrice said...

unionized... f-you!

rlaWTX said...

poor Masterlock - what'd they do to get TOTUS's attention???

Tam said...

Dear God above, let this be his last SOTU.

tryanmax said...

Hey, what about what Washington can do?

T-Rav said...

I'm sure they weren't considering that before at all.

AndrewPrice said...

.. except cut taxes or regulations.

BevfromNYC said...

Do not ask what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country - Got it...

tryanmax said...

Okay, nobody "wants" to outsource.

Barack Obama said...

You should be thrown in jail and executed!

rlaWTX said...

Amen, Tam!

AndrewPrice said...

"Fair share"... drink!

tryanmax said...

Fair share! Drink!

BevfromNYC said...

Here that Apple? Microsoft??

tryanmax said...

Does that mean we drink twice?

American Business & rlaWTX said...

does anyone else's head hurt????

AndrewPrice said...

Riddle me this... if tax cuts are good for manufacturers, why not give them to everyone?

T-Rav said...

Do you understand what a minimum wage does to promote outsourcing, you shallow @#$%? Or freakishly high union salaries? Do you actually think about this crap, you lying sack of @#$%?!

rlaWTX said...

Except in Right to Work states

Eric Cantor said...

F-you!

T-Rav said...

Someone find out who the man behind the curtain is.

BevfromNYC said...

Local tax incentives for companies. That's what local governments are supposed to do. That is not for the Feds to do.

AndrewPrice said...

His tone is really off tonight. He sounds like a jackass.

T-Rav said...

So...what? We've already increased our exports by 20%? Someone get the fact-check machine.

USS Ben USN (Ret) said...

AndrewPrice said...
Cut the deficit by $2 trillion? Huh? When?

You hafta use Obamath to get those kind of figures.
It's a form of leftist math. Their way of making cuts without actually making cuts because it's in the future that they'll make the cuts when our GDP is triple what it is now or something.

It's complicated.

Barack Obama said...

I will throw them in jail and execute them!

BevfromNYC said...

I have to drink alot more to get through this...

rlaWTX said...

what is his usual tone? supercilious?

AndrewPrice said...

So now he's pro SOPA?

T-Rav said...

Let's hear it for SOPA, ladies and gents!!

AndrewPrice said...

Drug company sop.

tryanmax said...

"sopa" is Spanish for "soup" Maybe he's in favor of soup.

Eric Cantor said...

If I can stare at him a little harder, maybe he'll spontaneously combust....

BevfromNYC said...

What is he talking about???

rlaWTX said...

enforced equal access to financing - isn't that what brought the housing market down?

tryanmax said...

BYE BYE BENEDICT NELSON! And good riddance.

AndrewPrice said...

This is crap. He's now arguing for increasing immigration.

T-Rav said...

tryanmax, any idea for the word "soup" in Austrian?

rlaWTX said...

OMG... so this is a private sector success - not a gov't one!!!

AndrewPrice said...

"I want everyone to get fired from Seimens!"

T-Rav said...

Great! Now that Jackie's had such fortune, the economy will magically turn around!

Barack Obama said...

Private, government; potato, po-tah-to--what's the diff, am I right?

AndrewPrice said...

Right, let's seize community colleges and let the feds run those.

Idiot.

BevfromNYC said...

Why aren't the companies footing the bill for these "training programs"?

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