Wednesday, April 28, 2010

“I Can Only Promise You Defeat”

Believe it or not, I’m on Obama’s e-mailing list. Yep. I’m one of the millions of people he’s counting on to save his sorry rear end. Boy are they in trouble. Two days ago, Obama operative David Plouffe (left) sent me some words that were supposed to inspire me to get out there and support Team Donkey in 2010. The Plouffer’s main (read: only) talking point seems to be “expect a disaster but maybe it won’t be as bad as we expect.” Woo hoo! I’m sold!

Now, I must say that I found the Plouffer’s e-mail less than inspiring. Actually, I take that back -- it was inspiring, but then I’m on the other side. Seriously, who goes into the big game telling their team:

“Team, we’re gonna get our butts handed to us. But if we work really, really hard, maybe it won’t hurt so much when they rip those suckers off! Now get out there and make this less than a total debacle!!!”
Let’s look at what the Plouffer says. First, he starts by pointing out that a total debacle is to be expected:
“Historical trends aren’t in our favor -- the president’s party generally loses seats in the first midterm election.”
Translation: We’re fighting the inevitable.
“And even though President Obama has taken bold steps like the Recovery Act to put us back on the path to prosperity, escaping from a financial crisis like this one takes time.”
Translation: What we did. . . um, it didn’t work. Yeah, that’s right: we’ve got nothing to show for our efforts. But at least we avoided that financial crisis. Of course, you’re probably wondering why we handed over the Treasury to Wall Street if we actually “escaped” the melt down, but I’m betting you’re too stupid to put that together so just keep reading. . . nothing to think about here. Of course, I’m also betting you’re too stupid to know that the Recovery Act is “the stimulus,” or I wouldn’t have mentioned it.
“The prognosticators and pundits are predicting steep losses for the Democrats.”
Translation: You know those right wing witches and fortune tellers on Fox, well, they’re all against us. Of course, I’m making the same prediction, but, once again, I thank God you people are too stupid to figure that out.
“The Republicans are already measuring the drapes for their new offices, saying that anything short of an electoral landslide that gives them back control of Congress won’t be a victory.”
Translation: This is key, put down the bong and listen up idiots. Anything short of the Republicans taking back the Congress would be a great victory for our side. Got it?!! A great victory! A Waterloo or Stalingrad class victory. Epic baby!
“But these are the same folks who said Barack Obama could never become president. . .”
Translation: Ok, this sounded much better on paper than it does reading it now. I was trying to point out how wrong and stupid these “doubters” are, but that kind of wipes out the sense of danger I’m trying to project. Crud. Not to mention that I doubt any of you can think of anyone who thought Obama couldn’t become President. . . except for maybe Hillary.
“. . . the same ones who said we were trying to do too much, too fast -- and that we’d never pass historic health reform.”
Translation: Now those people you remember right? The people who made vague comments about us not doing things right. Dirty traitors. By the way, whatever you do, don’t check out our record of abject failure.

Oh, and I "get" that everyone hates ObamaCare now, especially since none of you got your free medical cards, but it’s the only accomplishment we have. So deal with it. Seriously, what else did you want me to mention? Copenhagen went to crap. Crap and Trade went down in carbon flames. The stimulus only stimulated anger. Gays, no they’re pissed. Immigration? Nada. Financial reform? Yeah, we reformed the line so we could all stand in it and beg for cash again, that’s about all we did there. So thank your lucky stars for ObamaCare. Oh, and somebody tell Boxer “ichtsna on the riticismca of bamaCareOa!”
“They were wrong then, and they’re wrong now.”
Translation: Yeah, that must mean we’re right! Go team!
“I believe we can avoid the nightmare electoral scenario that Republicans in Washington have already convinced themselves will happen.”
Translation: I'm trying to be positive, but it's just not coming. We're doomed, and the best we can hope for is that we can ultimately avoid a total disaster.

I don’t know, call me crazy, but this is less than inspiring. And if this is what the Plouffer thinks will excite his base, well. . . let’s just say I like the team Obama has assembled.


USArtguy said...

Heh. Reminds me of the recent commercial for ABC's "Modern Family" where the boys' basketball coach tells his kids " Let's show these guys what kind of team they're about to beat."

patti said...

lol! this is my favorite kind of post. point, translation, FAIL!

and i like the visual of ripping their butts off. plouffe meet self. ASS!

ah, good times...

Teresa said...

Your translation was beautiful. PLouffe and the Obama gang are failing, and badly. November we will give these commies a big kick in the rear, out the door.

Writer X said...

Plouffe's letter sounds worse than those emails I get telling me that I've recently inherited millions of dollars from a Nigerian prince!

Wow! I think Plouffe was high when he wrote this one.

LL said...

They tried to create a "coffee party".

They hoped that ACORN would provide the sort of people who would get out there and inspire the community.

They worked to infiltrate Tea Party protests and were "outed".

And I too received e-mail from people who urged me to get with the ObamaNation crowd for the big win in November because we need to defend socialism from the pesky Constitutionalists.

Pathetic - very pathetic.

StanH said...

Andrew, it would appear that Plouffe has read the writing on the wall. November 2010 is going to be an ass kicking of cataclysmic proportions. But I extend the slaughter to the entire incumbent class, and hope through a vigorous primary season we can get rid of as many RINOs as possible. We must remain enthusiastic through several election cycles.

AndrewPrice said...

USArtguy, That's a great quote and very appropriate for how this e-mail felt! LOL!

AndrewPrice said...

Patti, I'm glad you enjoyed it. But I do have to give credit to the Plouffer for writing this material! ;-)

AndrewPrice said...

Teresa, What was really funny in the e-mail was reading between the lines, how he struggled to come up with any real achievements that they could point to.

You could literally see him in his office trying to find something. . . anything they could point to.

AndrewPrice said...

Writer X, I actually enjoy those more than what the Plouffer has put together here. At least those have a point!

Seriously, this e-mail stunk. And if his intent was to get his activist base to turn out, then they're in trouble because this gives no one anything to feel strongly about!

AndrewPrice said...

LL, It's funny isn't it. It must be stunning to them. One short year ago, they could call upon millions of people to show up at town hall meetings, to flood phone lines, or to just stand there struck with awe at the Messiah. But now the only thing they can get to show up are union thugs. Nothing they've done since the election has worked, and I don't think they understand why yet.

AndrewPrice said...

Stan, Plouffe was clearly trying to play down expectations while simultaneously encouraging people to come to their rescue, but he really missed his mark. In large part, I think this is because he has nothing to work with. They have almost no accomplishments, and the things they have done have all blown up in their faces.

Tennessee Jed said...

Jesus, Andrew! - I looked at the picture on your post while reading it. Since I wouldn't know Pouff if I tripped over him, I'm thinking "wow, Andrew is younger than Irealized, and how did he get that cute little Obama poster, and I wonder why he decided to post a real picture . . . LOL :=}

That said, I truly hope the liberal November turns out to be epic in scope. In this regard, I believe Fox is key. Sites like this one are great, but mostly preach to the choir. Breitbart is gaining big time notoriety and doing a nice job of uncovering liberal lies such as ACORN and the tea party racism fraud.

I think it is important that media pressure be kept up to counteract the normal liberal media spin, and Fox still is the champ when it comes to viewership by people who may not be politicall as involved as, say, we Commentarians. Great post!

AndrewPrice said...

Thanks Jed. No, that's not me. LOL!

Fox is definitely important because they've broken the monopoly on news by the left, but I think that in the end, our best advertiser is Obama himself. He seems to swing between incompetent to petulant to nasty. He's turned off his own people, excited ours, and otherwise bored (or scared) the rest of the electorate.

Joel Farnham said...


Great article. I hope the Democrats double down on stupid after November 2.

AndrewPrice said...

Thanks Joel, I hope so too. I'm amazed that they don't seem to be able to see their problem at the moment. It really is like they have no idea what the public wants. Financial regulation? Yawn. Immigration? Good way to anger everyone. Oh well.

I can only conclude that they live in such a bubble that they have completely lost touch with the public.

Unknown said...

Andrew: How did you get so lucky? Love letters from Obama. I only get e-mails from Boxer, Feinstein and Pelosi.

AndrewPrice said...

Lawhawk, I always aim for the top.

Anonymous said...

LOL! This is great. If this is the best they can come up with then they're in big time trouble.

AndrewPrice said...

Anon, Thanks. I hope this is their best efforts. How funny would that be!

CrispyRice said...

I just love reading anything that uses "Waterloo" and "Obama" in the same article. Does my heart good! :D

AndrewPrice said...

CrispyRice, I have to admit I liked that too. :-)

BevfromNYC said...

But Andrew, I'm just assuming that your are not the demographic for which Obama is seeking votes? What gives?

From DNC -
Obama appealing to "young people, African-Americans, Latinos, and women who powered our victory in 2008 [to] stand together once again."

AndrewPrice said...

Bev, I like to think I've moved beyond bigoted concepts like demographics. I see myself as a consumer of the world. Wait. . . that doesn't sound like a good thing either. Hmm.

Interestingly, I just got another e-mail, this one from another Obama person and it takes a different approach, but covers the same ground. I guess yesterday's e-mail didn't go down so well.

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