If You Don't Support Obamacare, The Terrorists Win

The anti-American sign on the right (where else?) was recently seen at a terrorist riot of unpatriotic demagogues descending on a peaceful town hall meeting in Redding, California. As we all know, dissent is the last refuge of a scoundrel, and there were scoundrels galore at this event.

"Nobama," they said. "No Government-Run Health Care," they said. "No Cap and Tax," they said. And much more. But the horror gets even worse. It wasn't bad enough that Californians were treated to an insurrection on their sovereign soil, but there was a traitor, a quisling, a Benedict Arnold in their midst. Let me explain this to you as soon as I've calmed down. Remember, Redding is less than 200 miles from San Francisco, and I have drawn the drapes and barred the door lest this rag-tag revolutionary army break in and commit mayhem.

One of the leaders of the mob is Bert Stead. This 67-year old violently seized the microphone at the town hall meeting, and said the following horrific words: "I have been known to say fishy things." And the mob cheered. "I have been known to even attend a Redding Tea Party . . . and I wanna say that I'm a proud right-wing terrorist." And the mob cheered even louder, amidst the raucous laughter which seemed to feed their zeal.

And now for the part that I can scarce bring myself to relate to loyal Americans. It is not enough that a lowly taxpayer dared to demand undeserved rights and proudly declared himself an enemy of the United States, but here is how the threat was treated by, God help us, an elected official, sworn to protect us from these domestic enemies. Republican Representative Wally Herger turned his coat and and replied: "Amen, God bless you. There is a great American." And then Herger proceeded to speak against our Dear Leader's plan to nationalize health care. At long last, Mr. Herger, have you no decency?

California may already be lost to the rebels, but at least the nation will hear about the treacherous acts of the mob and the traitor in Congress. MSNBC patriot Keith Olbermann knows how to read the signs of the times. Jeremiah-like, he thunders to his nightly audience of dozens: "Even if he was being allegorical or hyperbolic (he learned those big words in agricultural college), this is not language to bandy about." He reserved his greatest ire for the traitor who sold his elected soul to the mob. "Wally Herger is guilty of contributing to this climate of paranoia and violence enveloping our political system." And felonious bandying.

The protectors of our freedom to keep our mouths shut are not fools. They have secret agents everywhere. One of them found a copy of a memo from terrorist Bob MacGuffie, a vast right wing conspirator from Connecticut, lying around somewhere on, near or within a couple of hundred miles of the scene of the mob action in Redding. The memo provided tips on how to disrupt town hall meetings which uphold our Dear Leader. I will admit that the words of the memo sound very much like another organizer whose name escapes me, but whose tactics I used during my political activities in the 60s.

"You need to rock the boat early in the Rep's presentation. Watch for an opportunity to yell out and challenge the Rep's statements early. If he blames Bush for something or offers other excuses--call him on it, yell back and have someone else follow-up with a shout-out. When called on, ask a specific prepared question that puts the onus on him to answer. After the Rep answers, or more likely diverts or dodges, be prepared with a follow-up--take the initiative and you will be able to follow up. The balance of the crowd should applaud when the question is asked, further putting the Rep on the defensive."

My regular readers know that I have a talent for getting information which nobody else is privy to, and I have it on the best of authority (my assistant Kitty Kelly) that the title of the incendiary pamphlet is "Rules for Rightists," which also sounds vaguely familiar. Also found near the site was another inflammatory pamphlet entitled "Common Senfe" by some uneducated hillbilly from Virginia named Thomas Paine. Obviously, all Southerners are incapable of spelling correctly. What the hell is "Senfe?"

Another protector of the right of the government to make all our decisions for us is the mild-mannered Chris Matthews, who wouldn't say an unkind word even if you took his Bourbon away from him. Says Chris (also of MSNBC): "A guy who thinks it's okay, in this day and age, to call himself a right-wing terrorist. This is the dangerous edge, in which these people, including some elected officials (guess who, Traitor Herger) are now dancing. We've been here before. Words lead to actions, words create the national mood, the mood creates a license. People take that license and use it. I'm not spelling it out any further because I don't want to." Well said, Chris. Sarcasm and irony will be the death of our democracy if we don't stomp it out wherever it rears its ugly treasonous head.

Our loyal leftist minions know sarcasm and irony when they see them, and they speak only the truth, with no humor whatsoever. When Chimpy Bushitler was in office, they pictured him as the evil dictator and mass murderer that he truly is. More recently, during the current term of our Dear Leader, they have said, with utmost earnestness and accuracy, that dissent is being stirred up by extremist mobs (the Democratic National Committee). They are pawns of the insurance industry (Senator Dick Durban, D-IL). Un-American (Rep. Nancy Pelosi, D-CA). Brownshirts (Rep. Brian Baird, D-WA). White House Press Secretary Robert Gibbs has called the movement "manufactured Astroturf." Evilmongers (Senator Harry Reid, D-NV). Fear Mongerers (Barack Obama, Dear Leader, U.S.). Political terrorists (Rep. Baron Hill, D-IN).

Sadly, the agents of Dear Leader did not seem to be prepared for the Redding riot, unlike other places. The patriotic organization Service Employees International Union (SEIU) maintained order in Tampa and St. Louis, with careful instructions from the Democratic National Committee on how to boot terrorists out of the meetings. The SEIU purple-shirts had to forcibly restrain race-traitor Kenneth Gladney in St. Louis who opposed Dear Leader's agenda. In order to get Gladney under control, the purple-shirts found it necessary to get his attention by calling him the n-word. At a Pelosi health care rally in Denver, a HOPE Obama shirt-wearing patriot was forced to rip up a home-made anti-Pelosi sign which was blocking one of the patriotic and spontaneous pre-printed and professionally made pro-Obama signs provided by two groups which previously were organizers for the Dear Leader's election.

Another horrifying incident involved a man with a gun (a gun!) showing up at an Obamacare rally. Since the man was African-American, it became necessary for the protectors of our right to support Dear Leader to crop the picture so that his skin color wasn't shown in the videos. To leave his face on-camera would have destroyed the truthiness of the attacks on "crazy white people carrying guns."

After one astroturfer was bloodied by a union rep attempting to prevent a terrorist massacre, the patriotic crowd was heard asking the injured terrorist if he had medical insurance as he was taken out of the room on his way to the hospital. OK, so occasionally even good patriots have to show a sense of humor and sarcasm. But not too often, this is serious business. The worst incident of all took place in Thousand Oaks, California, where patriotic organization MoveOn.org staged a wonderful Obamacare rally. One terrorist was so unruly that a supporter of Dear Leader found it necessary to bite off the end of the terrorist's little finger to silence the anti-Dear Leader words which were coming out of the brownshirt's dirty mouth.

These terrorist demagogues are determined to derail Dear Leader's entire plan for radically changing America, and they must be ferreted out, humiliated and crushed. And beware the vipers in the very bosom of Congress who would attend a terrorist training camp and encourage the terrorists to threaten Dear Leader with deadly weapons like picket signs and ballots. Thank God for the great protectors of our right to vote Democratic such as Olbermann and Matthews. And thank God for the brave home-defense patriots of the SEIU and ACORN who have put their very lives on the line protecting Dear Leader from words and picket signs. If it weren't for them, these wonderful and informative Obama town hall meetings might turn violent.