Wednesday, September 9, 2009

If You Don't Support Obamacare, The Terrorists Win

The anti-American sign on the right (where else?) was recently seen at a terrorist riot of unpatriotic demagogues descending on a peaceful town hall meeting in Redding, California. As we all know, dissent is the last refuge of a scoundrel, and there were scoundrels galore at this event.

"Nobama," they said. "No Government-Run Health Care," they said. "No Cap and Tax," they said. And much more. But the horror gets even worse. It wasn't bad enough that Californians were treated to an insurrection on their sovereign soil, but there was a traitor, a quisling, a Benedict Arnold in their midst. Let me explain this to you as soon as I've calmed down. Remember, Redding is less than 200 miles from San Francisco, and I have drawn the drapes and barred the door lest this rag-tag revolutionary army break in and commit mayhem.

One of the leaders of the mob is Bert Stead. This 67-year old violently seized the microphone at the town hall meeting, and said the following horrific words: "I have been known to say fishy things." And the mob cheered. "I have been known to even attend a Redding Tea Party . . . and I wanna say that I'm a proud right-wing terrorist." And the mob cheered even louder, amidst the raucous laughter which seemed to feed their zeal.

And now for the part that I can scarce bring myself to relate to loyal Americans. It is not enough that a lowly taxpayer dared to demand undeserved rights and proudly declared himself an enemy of the United States, but here is how the threat was treated by, God help us, an elected official, sworn to protect us from these domestic enemies. Republican Representative Wally Herger turned his coat and and replied: "Amen, God bless you. There is a great American." And then Herger proceeded to speak against our Dear Leader's plan to nationalize health care. At long last, Mr. Herger, have you no decency?

California may already be lost to the rebels, but at least the nation will hear about the treacherous acts of the mob and the traitor in Congress. MSNBC patriot Keith Olbermann knows how to read the signs of the times. Jeremiah-like, he thunders to his nightly audience of dozens: "Even if he was being allegorical or hyperbolic (he learned those big words in agricultural college), this is not language to bandy about." He reserved his greatest ire for the traitor who sold his elected soul to the mob. "Wally Herger is guilty of contributing to this climate of paranoia and violence enveloping our political system." And felonious bandying.

The protectors of our freedom to keep our mouths shut are not fools. They have secret agents everywhere. One of them found a copy of a memo from terrorist Bob MacGuffie, a vast right wing conspirator from Connecticut, lying around somewhere on, near or within a couple of hundred miles of the scene of the mob action in Redding. The memo provided tips on how to disrupt town hall meetings which uphold our Dear Leader. I will admit that the words of the memo sound very much like another organizer whose name escapes me, but whose tactics I used during my political activities in the 60s.

"You need to rock the boat early in the Rep's presentation. Watch for an opportunity to yell out and challenge the Rep's statements early. If he blames Bush for something or offers other excuses--call him on it, yell back and have someone else follow-up with a shout-out. When called on, ask a specific prepared question that puts the onus on him to answer. After the Rep answers, or more likely diverts or dodges, be prepared with a follow-up--take the initiative and you will be able to follow up. The balance of the crowd should applaud when the question is asked, further putting the Rep on the defensive."

My regular readers know that I have a talent for getting information which nobody else is privy to, and I have it on the best of authority (my assistant Kitty Kelly) that the title of the incendiary pamphlet is "Rules for Rightists," which also sounds vaguely familiar. Also found near the site was another inflammatory pamphlet entitled "Common Senfe" by some uneducated hillbilly from Virginia named Thomas Paine. Obviously, all Southerners are incapable of spelling correctly. What the hell is "Senfe?"

Another protector of the right of the government to make all our decisions for us is the mild-mannered Chris Matthews, who wouldn't say an unkind word even if you took his Bourbon away from him. Says Chris (also of MSNBC): "A guy who thinks it's okay, in this day and age, to call himself a right-wing terrorist. This is the dangerous edge, in which these people, including some elected officials (guess who, Traitor Herger) are now dancing. We've been here before. Words lead to actions, words create the national mood, the mood creates a license. People take that license and use it. I'm not spelling it out any further because I don't want to." Well said, Chris. Sarcasm and irony will be the death of our democracy if we don't stomp it out wherever it rears its ugly treasonous head.

Our loyal leftist minions know sarcasm and irony when they see them, and they speak only the truth, with no humor whatsoever. When Chimpy Bushitler was in office, they pictured him as the evil dictator and mass murderer that he truly is. More recently, during the current term of our Dear Leader, they have said, with utmost earnestness and accuracy, that dissent is being stirred up by extremist mobs (the Democratic National Committee). They are pawns of the insurance industry (Senator Dick Durban, D-IL). Un-American (Rep. Nancy Pelosi, D-CA). Brownshirts (Rep. Brian Baird, D-WA). White House Press Secretary Robert Gibbs has called the movement "manufactured Astroturf." Evilmongers (Senator Harry Reid, D-NV). Fear Mongerers (Barack Obama, Dear Leader, U.S.). Political terrorists (Rep. Baron Hill, D-IN).

Sadly, the agents of Dear Leader did not seem to be prepared for the Redding riot, unlike other places. The patriotic organization Service Employees International Union (SEIU) maintained order in Tampa and St. Louis, with careful instructions from the Democratic National Committee on how to boot terrorists out of the meetings. The SEIU purple-shirts had to forcibly restrain race-traitor Kenneth Gladney in St. Louis who opposed Dear Leader's agenda. In order to get Gladney under control, the purple-shirts found it necessary to get his attention by calling him the n-word. At a Pelosi health care rally in Denver, a HOPE Obama shirt-wearing patriot was forced to rip up a home-made anti-Pelosi sign which was blocking one of the patriotic and spontaneous pre-printed and professionally made pro-Obama signs provided by two groups which previously were organizers for the Dear Leader's election.

Another horrifying incident involved a man with a gun (a gun!) showing up at an Obamacare rally. Since the man was African-American, it became necessary for the protectors of our right to support Dear Leader to crop the picture so that his skin color wasn't shown in the videos. To leave his face on-camera would have destroyed the truthiness of the attacks on "crazy white people carrying guns."

After one astroturfer was bloodied by a union rep attempting to prevent a terrorist massacre, the patriotic crowd was heard asking the injured terrorist if he had medical insurance as he was taken out of the room on his way to the hospital. OK, so occasionally even good patriots have to show a sense of humor and sarcasm. But not too often, this is serious business. The worst incident of all took place in Thousand Oaks, California, where patriotic organization MoveOn.org staged a wonderful Obamacare rally. One terrorist was so unruly that a supporter of Dear Leader found it necessary to bite off the end of the terrorist's little finger to silence the anti-Dear Leader words which were coming out of the brownshirt's dirty mouth.

These terrorist demagogues are determined to derail Dear Leader's entire plan for radically changing America, and they must be ferreted out, humiliated and crushed. And beware the vipers in the very bosom of Congress who would attend a terrorist training camp and encourage the terrorists to threaten Dear Leader with deadly weapons like picket signs and ballots. Thank God for the great protectors of our right to vote Democratic such as Olbermann and Matthews. And thank God for the brave home-defense patriots of the SEIU and ACORN who have put their very lives on the line protecting Dear Leader from words and picket signs. If it weren't for them, these wonderful and informative Obama town hall meetings might turn violent.

26 comments:

Joel Farnham said...

Nice job. Reminds me of some of the official Nazi propagandist missives.

LawHawkSF said...

JoelFarnham: Mao and Stalin weren't too shabby at this either. It's a common method well-known to all totalitarians and wannabe perverters of simple truths.

AndrewPrice said...

Lawhawk, Hilarious! "Mr. Herger, have you no decency?" LOL!

Sanmon said...

Lawhawk, You placed a smile on my face after reading this. Today is a day we may all remember as the day our President decided we are all equal in the world in his view. We are all Hondurans.

I will watch this speech with a smile on my face for after the speech is over I will honor our Presidents image on the (old)TV with a 21 gun salute.

This war will be won with words not guns but sometimes you just have to get it out of your system and smile :-)

Joel Farnham said...

This could have come out of Chris Matthew's mouth or Keith Olbermann's anal tract. Basically the same orifice.

It has just enough truth to make it plausible to someone who hasn't been following the tea parties closely.

LawHawkSF said...

JoelFarnham and Sanmon: I have to admit that sometimes it's not a bad idea to look to the opposition for guidance. Stephen Colbert coined the word "truthiness," and though he meant it as a slap at everyone who distorts or exaggerates facts, the left wing of the Democratic Party and their enablers in the MSM have used it very effectively. It's not quite "the Big Lie" of the Nazi and Communist totalitarians, but it serves a similar purpose--to twist the truth until it's almost unrecognizable in relation to the underlying facts.

LawHawkSF said...

Here's a good example of how the Obamists see the significance of 9-11. They want it to be a day to be reminded of the horrors of terrorism--right wing terrorism: President Wants You To Make Two Calls On 9-11. My understanding is that once again the outcry was immediate, and this has now been pulled down.

Sanmon said...

Lawhawk,Truth from either party is a rare commodity these days. Slander is about all they know how to do. I've been called worse, I am sure in the future I will be called worse. I always look at the opposition for my guidance. I see little value in bauble heads advice. The challenging thinkers and doers is where I have learned from the most. You just need to be sure of your foundation.

Joel Farnham said...

The truthiness reminds me of Dan Rather's blunder. The truth of the document that was proved to be false on Bush's National Guard time.

Sanmon said...

Lawhawk, Yea no health care calls on the 11th we need to do that during the celebration of 60 years of communism on the south lawn of the White House. Raising the PRC flag on the 20th of September. What a glorious day that shall be.

HamiltonsGhost said...

Lawhawk: I'm still laughing. If you ever need to make a career change, you could undoubtedly get a job as a writer for the DNC. The faux horror and pretentious blithering of Olbermann and Matthews are unintentionally funny. Obviously, they don't do intentional humor as well as you and Andrew Price.

MegaTroll said...

This was really funny. You guys should get your own radio show, or television show.

I'm really glad you guys see the humor in all of this and don't take the "Obama wants to recreate Nazi Germany" seriously. It's like Bush Derangement Syndrome has morphed into Obama Derangement Syndrome.

Sure, the guy wants to make us into England or France, and that sucks, but that's a far, far cry from a totalitarian state.

CalFederalist said...

LawHawkSF: I can't believe this kind of open rebellion could have happened practically in my back yard. lol. I really like the part where the Obama folks were "forced by the demagogues" to bite off fingers and make racial epithets. The unpatriotic protestors are deeply evil for forcing patriots into committing acts that they would never have committed if not provoked.

LawHawkSF said...

MegaTroll: Thanks, and on behalf of Andrew, thanks again. When we start to take ourselves too seriously and our opponents as the new Hitlers and Stalins, we overreach and alienate. I've managed to maintain both my sense of humor and my sense of proportion through six decades of crises. I'm in agreement with you.

Obama and his high command are too lazy and too clueless to be anything as energetic or physically violent as the Nazis and Communists. Euro-socialism is more like it (despite the stupid appointment of ultra-radical, crypto-communist "czars"). Sadly, their naive socialism has led them into believing that some of their troops will be as non-violent as they are. That's where the SEIU and ACORN, among others, come in. They set up a potential confrontation, and don't realize that violence is likely to be the result. When the violence ensues, and it turns out it's their own bully boys who did it, they go into immediate denial and blame it on the provocateurs who dared to express a different opinion. Which was, of course, the whole point of my article.

StanH said...

That was funny Lawhawk, and could be spewed right out of Chrissie Mathews or Keif Olberdork. I love the push back by the American people it’s actually a lot of fun, and causes the sycophants in MSM to run off the track, funny. Keep it up America, we have their backs against the wall, but we still have a long way to go.

LawHawkSF said...

StanH: The old saying is "you can't make this stuff up." I realized when I was writing the column that it's not true. You can make it up. Start with a few small facts, twist them, and you have a whole new and different story. LOL Making fun of their spin was fun, but as you could tell, there was a serious purpose behind it.

CrispyRice said...

Very amusing!

I can't wait to see the spin following 9-12 in DC...

LawHawkSF said...

CrispyRice: Are you referring to the largest mob so far? The MSM will be spinning like a category F5 tornado. We're all going to need storm cellars.

Tennessee Jed said...

Like a die hard sports fan, I type this comment just a glorious reader begins to set straight all the rumors and falsehoods (excepting his own I suppose.) I say like a sports fan in that I am superstitious as hell so I have debated whether to watch or not and whether that decision will somehow jinx my desired result (e.g. glorious leader's ratings continue to sink like a stone and health care reform, "progressive socialist" style comes to a well deserved screeching halt.

You just had to mention Chris Matthews as the speech begins didn't you. It harkened up this horrible disgusting image of Chris becoming sexually aroused whille slobbering that Barrack hit a home run just when he had to. I believe much of the media has already received the template on how to spin the analysis. I am hoping 1)ratings are very low 2) there is no bump in popularity

LawHawkSF said...

Tennessee: I bit my lip, turned on the news, heard two colossal lies in the first two minutes, and went back to the SyFy channel, where things are more real. The snake oil was already dripping from the speakers. Oops--turned it back on when he talked about tort reform just before pulling back on it. I suspect his idea is to put all the trial lawyers on the federal payroll.

Clearly there are only two villains in the nation--the insurance companies and the rich. But look at the bright side--he says he won't increase the deficit by a single dime. He truly is a wizard.

Sorry about mentioning Matthews. LOL

Sanmon said...

Highlights:
A congressman yelled out the word Liar when Obama said No Illegal covered.

TV is in recycled electronics bin.

LawHawkSF said...

The only thing more effective than lies is half-truths. He had both in abundance.

Skinners 2 Cents said...

Hilarious Law Hawk. I can now see the importance of Unions they are among us to save us from our selves.

Unions disgust me to the same level as the UN which might just be an abbreviation for Unions....Both should be stamped out immediately. The UN should be sent packing to any other country but ours. It no longer serves it's original intent, just like Unions.

I think all these right wing nut jobs need to invest in stun guns. One of these Union bullies lays a hand on you stun the bastard to the ground and leave him there. One of his friends comes at you stun him as well. If everyone shows up with a stun gun for these jerks it will be very difficult to figure out who did the stunning. Gives a whole new meaning to the word polarized.

LawHawkSF said...

Skinners2Cents: Town hall meetings used to be pretty dull events. They've gotten more lively of late. With your suggestion, they could be downright electrifying.

HamiltonsGhost said...

I haven't heard this kind of populist speech-making since Aaron Burr. And when I called him on it--he shot me!

LawHawkSF said...

Hamilton'sGhost: You're safe for now. Prissy Obama is afraid of guns. But then he does have those SEIU and ACORN Praetorian Guards, doesn't he?

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