Monday, January 16, 2012

T-Rav's Sockpuppet Theater Presents: Sassafracas

And then there were five. . . Apparently, Jon Huntsman's "ticket to ride" didn't get him all the way to South Carolina. And while he and his campaign were begging for bus fare in Newark, they got robbed of the will to continue. So he's packing up his bags and heading back to China, leaving the rest of us to struggle on without his smugness. You will be missed Jon. . . by someone.


While we wait for the debate to begin, riddle me this: what movie character would you most/least want to see as President?

441 comments:

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Tennessee Jed said...

I still cannot get over how good Huntsman would look in a grey federation ambassadors suit. My guess is he made a deal with Romney to be his ambassador to North Korean.

AndrewPrice said...

Jed, LOL! That's funny. He would make a good ambassador to North Korea. He can help show them how to be a non-partisan dictatorship.

AndrewPrice said...

By the way, schedule wise...

I will do a recap tomorrow afternoon at 4:00 PM (EST).

Scott is trying to defend Star Trek V tomorrow morning at the film site.

The debate is tonight at 9:00 PM (EST).

Unknown said...

That's easy. Fred Thompson. I guess in his role in Hunt for Red October if you meant his movie character rather than the actor himself.

rlaWTX said...

did you see Nolte's link on his article about favorite fictional politicians?
http://flavorwire.com/249395/10-fictional-politicians-wed-like-to-see-take-office-in-real-life

scary, for the most part - esp. the #1 choice...

tryanmax said...

I think things could get very interesting if Dr. Evil were POTUS. More so if he were President of the World. We would have to raise the presidential salary to One MILLION Dollars, but that's still pretty cheap.

AndrewPrice said...

rlaWTX, I haven't read that. Here's your link: LINK.

AndrewPrice said...

tryanmax, He would make for an interesting president, though I suspect he may not have our best interests at heart. LOL!

Hawk, I would vote for Fred in that film.

Joel Farnham said...

I am with LawHawk. I would vote for Fred Thompson in a minute.

BevfromNYC said...

I would most definitely vote for David "President Allstate" Palmer from "24"!

AndrewPrice said...

Bev, Plus he can get the country good insurance rates.

T-Rav said...

Why is that gorilla flipping me off?....Oh. Ohhh.

I think Captain Kirk would make a good president. I don't really know much about him beyond the Star Trek debates, but those make him sound like a good leader. Plus, it would be a fitting end to William Shatner's career.

T-Rav said...

Oh, and Jack Bauer as running mate.

AndrewPrice said...

T-Rav, Captain Kirk! Now that wins the thread! :)

Gorilla? I thought it was... oh, never mind. The similarities are striking.

Joel Farnham said...

Does anyone know of a live streaming of tonight's debate?

AndrewPrice said...

Joel, It's on Fox and it should be streaming here: LINK

USS Ben USN (Ret) said...

Good selections so ffar!

Sgt Saunders or Lt. Handley from Combat!

Rambo. I really think that after President Teleprompter we need a President of few words.

Gene Hackman from practically anything.

One thing about having Doctor Evil as President, is that everyone would be walking on eggshells around us, lol.
Plus, sharks with freaking lasers!
Oh, and Dr. Evil would liquidate all the useless govt. agencies.
Who wouldn't weanna see that?

Last suggestion (maybe): Sam from Burn Notice or Bruce Campbell in anything he's done.
Definitely would be cool and funny. :^)

USS Ben USN (Ret) said...

BTW, love those photos! Very funny!

T-Rav said...

This starts at 9:00 EST, right? Maybe I'll spend the hour beforehand catching this new "Alcatraz" show on Fox. It's got the paleontologist dude from Jurassic Park, and the fat guy from Lost, and it kinda looks Lost-esque, so it can't be bad, right?

tryanmax said...

Curse you, M*A*S*H for drawing me in with your irreverent wit and then making me cry with your moving sentimentality!

tryanmax said...

T-Rav, let us know what you think, will you?

USS Ben USN (Ret) said...

Roles I would least like to see as President include:

Hannibal Lecter. Okay, he might actually be interesting. Better than Obama at any rate.

Hans Gruber. I'm actually torn by this choice. Han's is a thief but at least he's suave, well spoken and has a cool factor (albeit a bad kind of cool).

Roseanne. I suppose we could get a worse President than Obama (shudders).

Ghandi. Alright, Hannibal and Hans are looking pretty good at this point.

Can't recall the part he played but Jack Palance from Tango and Cash was a good megalomaniac (kind of oxymoronish of me I know, but I don't know German).

AndrewPrice said...

Ben, I'm glad you like the photos. They seem sadly appropriate. My list of people who should not be president would include:

1. Darth Vader (the young version)

2. Alan Alda in anything, especially MASH.

3. The demon in The Exorcist.

4. HAL 9000


But I would take Jack Burton (am currently watching Big Trouble In Little China).

AndrewPrice said...

T-Rav and tryanmax, The ads looked intriguing, but it is on a network and that's usually the kiss of banality.

T-Rav said...

Eh, it's all right but I don't think it's gonna hold my interest. It'll probably leave me feeling better about the world than this debate will, though.

USS Ben USN (Ret) said...

Jack Burton is an awesome choice! LOL!

I think Wang would be a good one too. President Wang has a certain ring to it. :^)

Unknown said...

Well, I guess we should have seen this coming. The South Carolina Democratic Party and the Congressional Black Caucus are whining that the Republicans are showing disrespect by having a debate on Martin Luther King day. Never mind that the Black Caucus and CNN sponsored a debate in the same state on the same holiday in 2008.

AndrewPrice said...

So unless you're a black liberal, then you're supposed to hide in your house on MLK?

That makes sense.

AndrewPrice said...

Ben, To quote Futurama, "that Wang's Chung!"

NBC said...

"It'll . . . leave me feeling better about the world."

T-Rav on Alcatraz

Unknown said...

Andrew: I see you know the drill.

tryanmax said...

I missed the part about least wanted as president. I'm having trouble deciding between Tyler Durden and Jar Jar Binks. I like Durden, but I suspect he is something less than presidential material. On the other hand, even though Binks is a senator in Attack of the Clones, that's no guarantee of presidential ability either.

T-Rav said...

NBC, why are you pimping the Fox network like that?

Joel Farnham said...

Whining about how mean and nasty these ads are again.

I really have yet to see a race that hasn't gotten "ugly and mean".

NBC said...

Crud.

Jar Jar Binks 2012 said...

tryanmax is racist!

Don't thinks.... vote Binks.

Jon Huntsman said...

Hey, anybody want me to put Mandarin subtitles on this debate?

USS Ben USN (Ret) said...

I see the debate will be moderated by Brett Baier which makes it more palatable.

I may get to watch part of it (I can watch Alcatraz later).

T-Rav said...

You know what? I'll just say it--Palpatine was evil, but at least he was competent. (looks at Jar Jar and everyone else in the Senate)

South Carolinians said...

Yay! The one time in four years we get lots of attention!

T-Rav said...

Is there a #killme option?

USS Ben USN (Ret) said...

Yeah, use twitter. Paulbots assemble! Good idea. I wonder who will win the internet poll (again)?

Al Sharpton said...

How dare Fox News much bring up Dr. King on this day for the people African people!

AndrewPrice said...

T-Rav, I could get behind Palpatine... I like his policy on export tariffs.

Newt said...

I'm not a hypocrite when I'm a hypocrite.

AndrewPrice said...

Newt = shameless.

tryanmax said...

Paulbots Assemble Is that like when the Constructicons™ assemble?

Newt Gingrich said...

While ending Communism, I also turned the economy around--with helpful assists from a couple Presidents, of course.

AndrewPrice said...

If we did a drinking game every time Newt says "Reagan," then we'd all be dead of alcohol poisoning before he finished answering his first question.

USS Ben USN (Ret) said...

No Newt, "we" didn't create 15 million jobs. Getting the govt. to leave businesses alone created 15 mil jobs.

Sheesh, is Newt an egomaniac or what?

AndrewPrice said...

@tryanmax, LOL!

T-Rav said...

tryanmax, it's more like the "Newsteam Assemble!" in Anchorman.

Unknown said...

Gee, Newt, you're not attacking, you're just bringing up Romney's record. Yeah, right.

AndrewPrice said...

So Newt thinks the answer is to slander everyone just so they know what it's like before Obama does it?

Wow.

Diane Sawyer said...

Maybe you guys would be dead, but not me. I've built up an immunity over the years, HOLLAH!

Romney said...

My response? Newt's an idiot.

USS Ben USN (Ret) said...

Tryanmax: LOL! Probably Destructioncons would be more accurate.

Unknown said...

Newt: You forgot to ask if Romney is still beating his wife?

tryanmax said...

Well, I didn't want to go with DinoBots™ because they were good guys.

T-Rav said...

Okay, I'm just going to give myself alcohol poisoning without waiting for any drinking words. No one stop me.

AndrewPrice said...

Well said.

Unknown said...

Romney fielded his first question very well.

Rick Perry said...

I should have gone with "Buzzard Capitalism," shouldn't I? That's more of a Texas thing.

Perry said...

I'd ban vultures. They're evil man.

tryanmax said...

Government can't create jobs, except in Texas.

Unknown said...

And Perry will now explain "vulture capitalism" to us, after he reminds us he's the governor of Texas.

tryanmax said...

Red Herring.

T-Rav said...

Out: Releasing the birth certificate. In: Releasing the income tax forms.

AndrewPrice said...

Why? Who cares about his income taxes?

Oh yeah, SOCIALISTS.

USS Ben USN (Ret) said...

C'mon Perry, show some class! Nimrod!

AndrewPrice said...

Perry has no idea how to answer questions. I wonder how he orders at restaurants?

tryanmax said...

Wait. Will vultures eat red herring?

Unknown said...

Texan says "my tax return is better than yours."

Joel Farnham said...

These guys still don't understand that the GOVERNMENT does not create jobs.

tryanmax said...

He just orders the herring, obviously.

Okay, I'm off it.

Jon Huntsman said...

China doesn't cheat! They're great guys!

AndrewPrice said...

That was a HUGE answer -- undo ALL Obama era regulations!

USS Ben USN (Ret) said...

Romney is sounding pretty good thus far.

AndrewPrice said...

Joel, That's because they can't talk about the private sector without handing this to Romney because the rest have spent their lives in government.

T-Rav said...

Andrew, Perry strikes me as the kind of guy who would deliberately pronounce "fill-et mig-non" at restaurants because it's the Texas thing to do.

AndrewPrice said...

Ben, I agree.

Somebody make sure T-Rav doesn't hurt himself.

tryanmax said...

I'm liking this answer.

Unknown said...

Romney is showing some real preparation this time.

AndrewPrice said...

T-Rav, He ain't eatin' no French food.

AndrewPrice said...

Ok, Romney is kicking ass right now.

T-Rav said...

I thought Romney just had 30 seconds.

USS Ben USN (Ret) said...

Free enterprise sounds better than capitalism. Plus to Romney.

tryanmax said...

Yeah, T-Rav, besides, no self respecting Texan would order such a small cut.

tryanmax said...

Ben, good catch! I agree.

AndrewPrice said...

LOL at Paul! Awesome take down of Beaker!

Unknown said...

The WSJ guy asked a very complicated and wonkish question, and Romney did what he needs to do: answer the question, make it understandable, then go positive.

Ron Paul said...

And he likes the Zionists!

USS Ben USN (Ret) said...

Stop with the stupid questions already! I don't care about the attack ads. Good grief.

AndrewPrice said...

Right wing organizations say bad things about you too Firehouse Rick.

T-Rav said...

Okay, I'll just say it--I liked that answer of Santorum's on education.

Joel Farnham said...

Good statement about public schools by Santorim.

T-Rav said...

Which is more than I can say about this Right to Work answer.

AndrewPrice said...

Rick is all over the place on this issues. He attacks people for not following their principles and now he says he can't be attacked because he was just doing what the public wanted.

USS Ben USN (Ret) said...

Huh. Santorum actually had a good answer I think. I still think he's a dweeb though.

AndrewPrice said...

Proof: Santorum wants felons to vote because that helps Democrats.

tryanmax said...

Yawn! I'm a marketing guy and I don't even want to hear about ads anymore.

T-Rav said...

And here they were predicting a Santorum-Paul smackdown.

Joel Farnham said...

Great Hit by Rick Santorum.

USS Ben USN (Ret) said...

Spoke too soon. Satorum was right about getting govt. out of education but he blew it by showing no courage in his voting record.

AndrewPrice said...

Ricky is an ass.

Unknown said...

Santorum asked a question that has considerable validity about felons voting. But he doesn't seem to realize that about half of America totally disagrees with his position, however reasonable it may be.

Unknown said...

Omigod: Santorum played the race card.

AndrewPrice said...

Ricky pandering to the GOP is racist idea.

USS Ben USN (Ret) said...

Now Ricky is going off the rails.
Repeating leftist (and wrong) talking points.

Good answer by Romney!

Fast and Furious said...

Hello! This is like the 64th debate or something! Does anyone want to mention me? Hellooooo?????

AndrewPrice said...

Lawhawk, Yep. He's shameless.

T-Rav said...

Please, someone don't make sure I don't hurt myself.

Solyndra said...

Tell me about it!

tryanmax said...

Shameless, by Garth Brooks. There's his song.

AndrewPrice said...

So Rick is attacking Romney for not fixing what Ricky did?

Unknown said...

It's a bird! It's a plane! It's superpac.

USS Ben USN (Ret) said...

Nice line from Perry, for a change.

T-Rav said...

You know it's bad when Rick Perry has to pull things back on track.

tryanmax said...

Get involved with crafting the PACs' message, because that wouldn't be against the law or anything.

Unknown said...

But what about gay felons?

tryanmax said...

Oi! Remind me to make sure I have beer in the house before the next debate.

AndrewPrice said...

Lawhawk, Ricky wouldn't let them vote until they have heterosexual sex.

T-Rav said...

Thank God--time for commercials.

AndrewPrice said...

trynmax, It takes more than beer.

tryanmax said...

LOL! @ T-Rav

USS Ben USN (Ret) said...

This would be a better debate if Baier asked all the questions.

Are we done with the idiotic "why are you so mean?" questions that only waste time?

tryanmax said...

Well, I'm outta vodka, too.

Joel Farnham said...

This is war!!

Ricky must have ate his Wheaties this AM.

AndrewPrice said...

The problem with arguing with Santorum is not that he actually makes good points -- he doesn't, he spews liberal talking points, but that he's suck a prick that he makes everyone he clings to sound bad. It's like fighting with a two year old.

Kittens For Mittens said...

Don't do it T-Rav!
Don't deprive us of our revenge.

Unknown said...

Andrew: And using only the missionary position.

Tim Pawlenty said...

Yeah, so dropping out of this so-called race was a pretty dumb move on my part, wasn't it?

tryanmax said...

Why can't they just ask a question and let each of the candidates answer it? They got 'em going all in different directions.

T-Rav said...

LawHawk, that's disgusting. I thought this was a family blog.

USS Ben USN (Ret) said...

Andrew: Um...did you mean such? Suck works too but I don't want that thought in my mind (too late).
LOL

AndrewPrice said...

Lawhawk and only once when they plan to have kids.

I am reminded of Monty Python: every sperm is sacred....

T-Rav said...

Yeah, tryanmax, I got nothing either except some rubbing alcohol in the medicine cabinet. And I'm not that desperate....yet.

AndrewPrice said...

Ben, Typo. No double meaning intended.

USS Ben USN (Ret) said...

LawHawk: LOL! Good one!

Unknown said...

T-Rav: It is a family blog. Why else would I bring up missionaries?

AndrewPrice said...

Is it really productive to have the moderators smearing candidates? That's all they've done tonight.

USS Ben USN (Ret) said...

I'm disappointed in Brett. Does anyone have a good qquestion? Or is this it?

T-Rav said...

No! It says "convince me you won't change again"! Again, as in the future!!!! Aaarrghhh!!!

AndrewPrice said...

Another solid answer.

Unknown said...

Romney keeps it upbeat and patriotic. Smart.

T-Rav said...

Oh, never mind. Bret Baier just said "lubricant," and now my mind's gone in a completely different direction.

AndrewPrice said...

Woot woot!

T-Rav said...

It was a fine answer on the surface, but he didn't actually answer the question. As usual.

AndrewPrice said...

Yes, the feds should get the hell out of monitoring the states.

tryanmax said...

I'm already sick of this equivocating between changing of views and flip-flopping. We all know the difference, except apparently for politicians and pundits.

Rick Perry said...

Oh good, a Texas issue.

AndrewPrice said...

Rick studied over night. This is his third good answer tonight.

Unknown said...

Juan Williams (!?!>): Federal government has no right to investigate voting rights violations? Whoever said that? Join us in the 21st century, Juan.

The EPA said...

Let us repeat....we are only here to help you....this is for your own good....pay no attention to these men in the suits....

USS Ben USN (Ret) said...

Well said by Perry!

tryanmax said...

LawHawk, it seems the moderators on every station want to create issues that aren't.

Unknown said...

War on religion, hmmm. I don't know how important that is in this election, but I like it. In fact I liked it in yesterday's article. LOL

T-Rav said...

Yes, Perry's certainly had his Wheaties. Gingrich and Santorum, not so much.

USS Ben USN (Ret) said...

Beeker is a moron.

T-Rav said...

I knew I'd heard that somewhere before! ;-)

Unknown said...

tryanmax: I think Williams is still doing his penance for making a disparaging remark about Muslims on airplanes.

AndrewPrice said...

And Santorum dares to call Romney a flip flopper? Santorm has swung polar opposites on all of his positions.

tryanmax said...

Good answer on extended unemployment. I think.

AndrewPrice said...

Hey, Newt's here?!

tryanmax said...

Williams has a lot to make penance for.

tryanmax said...

Newt where? I just see a gorilla.

Newt Gingrich said...

Hey I'm just spitballing here, but you know what a good idea would be? Making unemployed people work for 99 weeks on a superhighway to the moon.

AndrewPrice said...

This sounds funny and all, but WHAT is the substance? There is none.

Unknown said...

I'm trying to figure out what training program would help me get a job if I were on unemployment. I'm too old to be a hod-carrier.

T-Rav said...

I think I'm spacing out.

USS Ben USN (Ret) said...

Foodstamp President. Good zinger for Newt, lol.

AndrewPrice said...

superhighway to the moon... LOL!

Newt Gingrich said...

That sounds like a great idea, Newt!

AndrewPrice said...

Solid answer actually, though it started a little dull.

USS Ben USN (Ret) said...

Well said Mitt!
Let free enterprise be free. That means some businesses will fail. But it works. No bail outs.

AndrewPrice said...

Mr. Paul, why do you hate South Carolina?

T-Rav said...

If Romney can talk like this for the next nine months or so, he might just be able to win the election.

Unknown said...

Paul: We can cut the military budget by rebuilding Fortress America and eliminating the Fed, or something like that.

AndrewPrice said...

Interesting answer by Paul. Not sure I believe it, but it's a good answer.

USS Ben USN (Ret) said...

Paul is starting the crazy right off the bat.

tryanmax said...

It's wrong because... ub, er, er. Let me change the subject because I've got no end to that thought.

AndrewPrice said...

Ok, that is a solid answer by Paul.

T-Rav said...

Ron Paul:"international finance" = moth:flame.

USS Ben USN (Ret) said...

LawHawk: LOL! Yeah that's about it, in a nutshell.

Ron Paul! said...

And I oppose both of those, but there is a difference.

tryanmax said...

That's a fair distinction.

AndrewPrice said...

I bid 10%.

T-Rav said...

Okay, at least they all managed to get this one more or less right.

AndrewPrice said...

Here we go... the FED HATES AMERICA!!

USS Ben USN (Ret) said...

Another plus for Romney. Newt on flat tax...yes.

Paul: 0% tax. Continuing the crazy.

tryanmax said...

Fundamentally, I agree with Paul. Realistically, I'm with Andrew.

AndrewPrice said...

WHO CARES!!! It's socialist envy politics to want to see another guy's taxes.

tryanmax said...

AAAAAAAaaaaaaarrrrrggggghhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!

AndrewPrice said...

tryanmax, I feel the same. ;)

USS Ben USN (Ret) said...

Shut up Juan! Idiot.

Juan Williams said...

And that makes no logical sense, because obviously you have to think a certain way based on your place of birth!

tryanmax said...

Mitt, how does it feel to betray your own race?

Unknown said...

Williams: Latino citizen voters? Or illegal immigrants?

T-Rav said...

You guys do realize we're going to suffer through two more hours of this Thursday night, right?

AndrewPrice said...

This is another crap question. He is assuming that Hispanics hate Republicans and need to be catered to by opening the door to illegals. That's bull.

And I'm glad Romney's not backing down on this.

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