Thursday, October 6, 2011

Did Aliens Take All The Aliens?

Omigod! The entire Hispanic population of Albertville, Alabama has disappeared overnight. Streets in Hispanic neighborhoods all over the state are empty. What could have happened? In order to find out, I consulted the New York Times. I now know it wasn't space aliens who absconded with the earthly aliens after all. It was the Hispanic Rapture.

In the wake of a federal court decision upholding Alabama's tough new immigration arrest, detention and reporting statute, Times reporter Clay Waters rushed to Alabama to say good-bye to his Hispanic immigrant friends, only to discover that they had all disappeared before he could get there. Says Waters: "In certain neighborhoods the streets are uncommonly quiet, like the aftermath of some sort of rapture."

Waters reports that "the vanishing began on Wednesday night (after the court decision), the most frightened families packing up their their cars as they heard the news." And these were not insubstantial Hispanics who were vanishing. Waters goes on to say: "They left behind mobile homes, sold fully furnished for a thousand dollars or even less. Or they just closed up and, in a gesture of optimism, left the keys with a neighbor. Dogs were fed one last time; if no home could be found, they were simply unleashed."

(Give me a moment to stop sobbing over this tragedy, and then I will choke back the tears and continue writing)

It's a good thing God knew in advance what the court decision would be. That way, He could cause the Hispanics to vanish before the law enforcement agencies could arrive. Oh, the humanity! Where God has plopped them down, Waters can't say. "Two, five, ten years of living here, and then gone, to Tennessee, Illinois, Oregon, Florida, Arkansas, Mexico--who knows? Anywhere but Alabama." Now I'm not on personal speaking terms with God, but I did notice that overnight the Hispanic population of Los Angeles increased by several hundred thousand, so maybe He transported them to California.

In Albertville alone, 123 Hispanic students did not show up for school the next day. A local real estate agent reported that his Hispanic occupancy had suddenly dropped by twenty-five percent, and might drop further. Waters did not report that the number of Democratic voters throughout the state had declined in approximately the same numbers as the vanishing Hispanics. Coincidence?

Says Waters: "Near the plant that is the largest employer in town, in the Hispanic neighborhoods, it is hard to differentiate the silence of the workday, the silence of abandonment, or the silence of paralyzing fear." Waters is apparently unaware that it's also hard to differentiate between purple prose and plain bulls--t.

Perhaps Waters will do a followup article in which he breathlessly describes how he found Hispanics all over town who had mysteriously not been taken up in the rapture. Why were only some of the Hispanics taken, and the others left behind to go on with their lives as usual? Perhaps it will turn out that it has something to do with how the remaining Hispanics got here in the first place. Ya think?

30 comments:

tryanmax said...

¡Es el Hispocalypse!

rlaWTX said...

I went from reading tryanmax's last post on the 989 Days to this comment -- it's a good thing I was finished with my soda already, no replacement keyboards needed...


There was a rapture film that made the rounds in the late 70s/early 80s - scared me half to death... but the theme song went "...and you've been left behind..." This time being left behind is a GOOD thing.
I worked for a warehouse in Waco in the mid-90s. We got word that Immigration was in town and going warehouse to warehouse. But the next day, half our floor staff was missing and stayed that way. The remaining Hispanic staff seemed to be of the "good riddance" perspective. [I was helping with the office stuff and we did NOT knowingly hire illegals. One day an applicant came in and gave us their Soc Sec Card to copy - in the blue background were the words "VOID VOID VOID". I figure they got gypped! and not hired.]

LL said...

California (a 'Sanctuary State') will be happy to take them all, feed, heal and educate at public expense. I'm sure that the 10% sales tax is headed for 12%...

AndrewPrice said...

By way of an update, Lawhawk has let me know that his internet is down and he probably won't be back on line until tomorrow afternoon.

T-Rav said...

Wait, I'm confused. Is this supposed to be a bad thing?

T-Rav said...

Oh no! It's the illegals' revenge on LawHawk for making light of their horrible tragedy. They cut his cords, I tell ya. I knows it!

Tennessee Jed said...

sweet not so home anymore Alabama!

Writer X said...

No doubt they're feeling to California where that idiot LA mayor is handing out ponchos because, presumably, California is awash in taxpayer cash.

StanH said...

And it’s really that easy. Cut them off and they will leave, I love it.

tryanmax said...

rlaWTX, I'll get that keyboard one of these days. Just wait...

T-Rav said...

rla, if you don't have to replace your keyboard at some point, you need to get your funny bone checked...

Tehachapi Tom said...

Hawk
The best part is the cost to the state of Alabama was well within budgetary constraints.

LawHawkRFD said...

MY SINCERE APOLOGIES TO EVERYONE! My internet provider went down some time early Thursday morning and didn't come up again until 11:30 PM Thursday night.

LawHawkRFD said...

Tryanmax: Me hizo mucha gracia.

LawHawkRFD said...

rlaWTX: Another good argument for E-Verify. A lot of employers got conned during the 70s and 80s, but there are far fewer excuses today for willful blindness.

LawHawkRFD said...

LL: I was only kidding, but many a true word is said in jest. And don't give the Democrats any bright ideas about the sales tax.

LawHawkRFD said...

Andrew: Thanks for letting everyrone know. I was just getting ready to shut the computer down around midnight, when all of a sudden that pretty green light with the picture of a satellite started flashing to indicate I had my internet back.

LawHawkRFD said...

T-Rav: LOL That's exactly what I was thinking. It's good for Alabama, bad for California and the rest of the South West. We know they're not rushing back across the border for all those fine jobs available there.

LawHawkRFD said...

T-Rav: Actually, they shot down the communications satellite using a missile obtained during Operation Fast and Furious.

LawHawkRFD said...

Tennessee: From whose point of view? The Alabamans like it just fine. LOL

LawHawkRFD said...

WriterX: Villaraigosa is just hoping he can create enough distractions with the ponchos that the police won't think of asking him to prove his citizenship. (You didn't hear that from me)

LawHawkRFD said...

Stan: If there's one thing that the Obamists (and other open borders fans) can't see, it's the obvious. Cut off the jobs and the freebies and they'll fold up their tents like the Arabs, and silently steal away.

LawHawkRFD said...

tryanmax: Don't you dare get a new keyboard. And how do you do the upside down exclamation point? I've never been able to figure it out on my lousy English language keyboard.

LawHawkRFD said...

Tehachapi Tom: Budget! Budget? We don't need no stinking budget!

tryanmax said...

LawHawk: I use the character map.

LawHawkRFD said...

tryanmax: That's what I thought. What's a character map? LOL

tryanmax said...

I don't know if your question is serious or not, so I'll just answer it.

In Windows XP: Start > All Programs > Accessories > System Tools > Character Map

That thing that opens up is a character map.

Patti said...

he thinks they went *back* to mexico?! uh-huh, that's about as true as #occupytogether is comprised of employed, civic-minded folks only concerned about THE PEOPLE.

LawHawkRFD said...

tryanmax: Thanks. Actually, I was only half-kidding. I'm computer-literate, but barely. As soon as you said "character map," I vaguely remembered doing something like that years ago, but didn't remember how I did it. Before I saw your instructions, I googled it, and lo and behold, their instructions for my XP were identical to yours!

Between thee and me, I regularly get into trouble with html and have to get Andrew to fix the mess I've made.

LawHawkRFD said...

Patti: The likelihood of them going back to Mexico is about as probable as my grandparents getting up out of their graves and going back to Germany.

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